Our Decision
by kikyophobia
Summary: It has been said that a half demon and a human must produce a child to let free what darkness stole from their world. However, when Miroku becomes a captive of this darkness, Sango asks InuYasha and Kagome to do the unthinkable! InuKag, MirSan. Please R
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my brand new fanfiction! I'm going to call it my second one, since the other thing I wrote was just my view on certain aspects of the series. Anyway, I'm so glad you all enjoyed my first fanfic. However, I will not be making a sequel to it. So, let's get on with this one!

Disclaimer: I didn't own InuYasha when I wrote my first story and I still don't.

"Miroku!" Sango was frenetic, her hair a mess and her eyes glossy with tears. It had been four hours. She collapsed onto her knees, sobbing profusely. "That's it then, isn't it?" she whispered. "I'll never get to see him again." She lightly caressed the vast stone in front of her, though her fingers were dented with the horrible scratches from the constant striking she had induced on the rock. She took in her surroundings; it was dreary and dark. She felt so alone as she stared around the cave, before looking back to the looming stone that had trapped Miroku in darkness.

They had been fighting an enormous demon that contained three jewel shards. Its hide was thick and seemed impenetrable as all of their attacks failed to even create a small incision. The demon had fled, though at the time it seemed completely bewildering. Sango and Miroku followed it through the winding paths of the forest they had been in out to an open field. There they saw the demon make its way into a cave on the mountain ahead of them. The couple continued after it, landing them at a dead end. That was when they had first seen the stone, its immensity astounding them.

The battle had seemed endless, extending well past what either Miroku or Sango could have predicted. After so long they began to become fatigued; that's when it happened. The demon grabbed Miroku, holding him tight in its clutches. Sango, in her exhausted state, was unable to reach him in time.

'Now that demon has him,' Sango thought, recalling the penitent inability she had suffered. She couldn't even bear to think of it. The demon simply disappeared behind the stone with Miroku still in its grasp. She slid a hand across her face, wiping away her tears.

"Sango!"

She turned around, seeing Kagome standing there, looking apprehensively at her. "Hey," Sango said weakly.

Kagome glanced around the cave. "Where's Miroku?" she asked. She frowned seeing Sango's grave expression. "Is everything alright?"

"What's going on?" InuYasha and Shippo trudged beside the two girls, eyeing them with perplexity.

Sango explained Miroku's vanishing thoroughly, choking back tears. "I just don't know anymore," she admitted as her hands touched the stone again. "I don't want to leave him, but I just can't…" Her voice faded away; her hope did as well.

"What's this?" Shippo questioned, staring curiously at the left side of the rock. "There's something written here."

Sango glanced up, striding slowly toward the young fox demon, ruffling his hair as she knelt down to get a better look.

When half-demon and human come together to form another, then darkness will let free what it took from their world.

"What do you think it means?" Shippo sat down, thumbing his chin, his eyes engulfed with oddity.

Sango's thoughts plagued her mind. 'Form another? I don't understand. Does that mean that a human and half-demon would have to…' Her eyes widened, as she comprehended the situation, finishing her thoughts aloud. "…Have a child?"

"What are you goin' on about?" InuYasha demanded, raising his eyebrow at Sango, arms folded. "Let's just move the damn boulder!"

Sango watched in anticipation as InuYasha inflicted countless attacks on the stone. Her eyes averted back to the engraving, rereading it carefully. 'That has to be the only way,' she determined as InuYasha's next attempt proved futile.

"Damn it! This thing won't budge!" InuYasha roared, infuriated. "How the hell are we supposed to get Miroku back, now?"

"Read this," Sango suggested quietly, gesturing at the message. "It might explain things."

"I don't understand, though," Kagome said, leaning closer to the stone, tracing her fingers over the words. "What would a half-demon and human have to-"

Sango cut her off. "I think," She paused, eyeing his friends intensely. "I think they would have to produce a child."

"Keh! There ain't no way that's gonna happen!" InuYasha furrowed his brows, his gaze moving to the stone ground. "Half-demons are rejected all together. No human would ever even consider becoming that intimate with one, so this whole thing is impossible!"

Sango stared at him. He was right. They would never be able to find anyone who would…

"Why can't Kagome and InuYasha just have a baby?" Shippo asked suddenly. "I mean, she's a human and he's a half-demon, right?"

There was an abrupt silence among the group, creating an unnatural sense about them.

Sango looked toward InuYasha and Kagome with a pleading gaze, immediately regretting it. 'I can't ask them to do that,' she rationalized, turning away. 'But…' Her gaze altered back to the stone. 'What about Miroku? We can't just sit here and do nothing.' She flinched, feeling a hand touch her shoulder. She tilted her head to see Kagome looking at her with concern.

"Sango," Kagome started. "I'm sorry I-"

"It's ok, don't apologize." Sango let out a feeble laugh. "It was stupid of me to even think about it."

Kagome felt a shower of guilt wash over her. She had an opportunity to save her friend's life, and she wasn't taking it. Worse, Sango clearly believed that the entire thing was her own fault. 'I can't have a baby, though!' her mind screamed. 'I'm only fifteen!' She sighed faintly, glancing at InuYasha who was glowering at Shippo. 'InuYasha doesn't seem that keen on the idea either.'

(0000000000000000)

The camp had a perturbed atmosphere hanging over it that night. The group sat around a fire they had lit in the cave, feeling awkward, each of them timidly glancing at one another every so often.

"I think I'll go gather more firewood," Sango offered, standing up to leave.

"I'll go with her," said Shippo, bounding after Sango.

InuYasha and Kagome watched them leave without a word.

Kagome coughed, clearing her throat, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence. She laughed nervously. "So…"

InuYasha threw her an icy glare. "What?" he demanded. He crossed his arms defiantly. "If you're going to ask me about what Shippo said, then you can forget it!"

"I wasn't going to! Geez, what's your problem?"

InuYasha jerked his head sideways, letting out a slight growl of aggravation.

'He must feel guilty,' Kagome recognized. 'Just like me.'

"It's not like we really could help anyway," InuYasha said suddenly. "They can't really expect us to…" He trailed off. "Never mind, just forget it."

Kagome nodded. 'I know how you feel, InuYasha,' she thought to herself. 'But, what would it be like if we agreed to help? I just can't help but wonder if it would be so bad.' She shook her head. 'What am I thinking? We can't do this. My relationship with InuYasha is constantly on and off, what with Kikyo and all. And, he already gets jealous enough as it is. If I were pregnant it would just make things worse. Besides, we haven't even kissed yet! How are we supposed to have child?' She sighed nonchalantly as Sango and Shippo entered the cave. She glanced back at InuYasha, knowing that they would need to talk about it eventually, unaware that he was thinking the same thing.

(0000000000000000)

Kagome let out a heavy sigh. The early morning sun danced across her face as she relaxed against a tree. It had been three days since Miroku was taken and she still couldn't bring herself to discuss it with InuYasha. He seemed equally as anxious for some reason. His glances were now lingering and almost seemed eager at times, and he had tried to get her alone on several occasions.

'Maybe he really is considering it,' she reasoned, pulling her arms up over her head, stretching them. That thought, however, tugged at the back of her mind. Why would he even give the slightest bit of thought to the idea of having a child? He seemed completely against the whole thing the last time she brought it up. 'InuYasha doesn't even really like kids that much, does he?' Kagome shook her head. 'I just don't understand him sometimes.'

She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them. 'I really should go back,' she decided. 'I don't want everyone to wake up and worry about me. Besides, InuYasha hates it when I wonder off. The last thing I need is for him to get upset.' She stood up to leave, brushing off her skirt.

"Kagome, what are you doing all the way out in the forest?"

Kagome looked at Sango with a weary expression. "I'm just trying to clear my head, that's all."

Sango nodded understandingly. "I already told InuYasha that we were headed off to take a bath. I told him you went on ahead of me," she said. Sango handed a large yellow backpack to Kagome. "I brought your stuff for you."

The two reached a hot spring after strolling through the forest in silence. The clear steaming water beckoned them in. Kagome undressed, another sigh meeting her lips. She slowly lowered herself into the comfort of the spring. 'This is strange,' Kagome thought as Sango slipped into the water. 'She looks so uneasy. I wonder why.'

"Kagome, you have to have that baby!" Sango blurted out unexpectedly, making it a point to avoid her friend's eyes.

Kagome was taken aback. She stared at Sango incredulously. "What?"

"I need you and InuYasha to have the baby! I know that it's a lot to ask, and it's totally unfair, but I just need you to!"

"Yeah, it's unfair!" Kagome shrieked, shooting Sango a fierce glare. "It's already bad enough that Miroku's gone, and now you're putting the whole thing on my shoulders!"

Sango groaned, trying to regain composure. "I'm sorry, ok? It's just so frustrating! You and InuYasha could help; you could save Miroku! There's no one else! You two are already in love, so why is it-"

"Wait a minute!" Kagome cried, cutting her off. "Don't just go assuming things about my relationship with InuYasha! It's a little more complicated than that!" Her tone softened as a small tear crept down her cheek. "Look, I've tried to think about it, I really have. I just don't know if I can do that."

"Yes you can!" Sango reassured her. "Please? I want to see Miroku again! Maybe you don't understand what it's like to lose someone that you love!"

Kagome sunk low into the water, looking toward the sky. "I don't understand? Sango, I don't even know what it's like to have someone I love. You're asking me to have a child with someone who is still…" She lowered her gaze, finishing her thoughts in her head. '…In love with someone else.'

Sango mentally hit herself. 'How could I have been so horrible? I shouldn't have mentioned it at all.'

Standing up, Kagome wrapped a towel around herself, gathering up her things. "I'm going back to camp," she said quickly. She concealed herself behind the nearest tree, throwing on her clothes. 'I was way too hard on her,' Kagome figured, straightening her shirt. 'She just wants to have Miroku back, and I just lash out at her like it's some kind of crime.' She slung her backpack over her shoulders, heading back to the cave.

InuYasha watched Kagome from the branch of a tall tree close by. 'Why is she crying?' he wondered. He leapt down in front of her, giving her a suspicious look.

Kagome jerked back, startled. How long had he been watching her?

"What are you cryin' about?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Kagome inhaled sharply as she fought back tears. Everything was just so hard right now. She had to make this horrible decision that she wasn't even approaching being ready for, her friend was captured, Sango was making her feel incredibly culpable, and he was asking her why she was crying?

InuYasha huffed. "Fine then, don't answer my question!" He turned away, inwardly feeling concerned.

"Don't do this right now," Kagome whimpered. "I just can't handle it." She pushed past him, running back toward camp, as if running away from her own problems.

InuYasha watched her run, fighting with his own conscious. 'Damn it! I didn't do anything, and she just got more upset!' Though his mind was compelled to think that, his conscious proved different. It argued that perhaps he should have just left her alone instead of interfering.

(000000000000000)

"Are you still mad?" InuYasha asked as he and Kagome sat together in a field beneath the stars. She had wanted to get away from the cave for a while, after sending constant indignant looks at Sango. He followed her when she left, hoping to evade any kind of danger.

"I was never mad at you, InuYasha," Kagome said calmly. "I'm sorry, I was just having a hard time."

InuYasha jerked his head away from her gaze. "It's ok. You don't have to apologize or nothin'" He glanced back at her with a hint of concern in his expression as he saw her distant look. It was odd, seeing her like this. She was usually so alive and full of emotions, but all of this seemed to be drowned out by something that he couldn't quite grasp. "Kagome," he started, but stopped himself, realizing he couldn't find the words.

Kagome's eyes met his.

It was like an alarm going off inside his head. He had noticed that she had been down recently, but seeing her empty eyes was overwhelming. It was like they were asking him to do something. How could something be so empty and yet so full at the same time?

"Kagome, what happened? Why…why were you crying?" He tried his best to not sound harsh or demanding, knowing that it may cause the same reaction he had gotten earlier.

She looked away. "It was Sango. She just started insisting that you and I had to…" Kagome stopped herself, trying not to scare him off by mentioning the word 'baby'. "I just feel so guilty," she admitted. "Sango made it seem like that I was to blame because I wasn't doing anything."

InuYasha just stared. There was nothing he could say to make this better, and about a million things he could say to make it worse.

"I don't want to feel so helpless anymore," Kagome continued. "But, there's no way that we could…" Her voice grew quiet as her thoughts came alive. 'I can't ask him to do this. It would only make him feel trapped. If we were to have a baby, I know that he would feel obligated to stay with me. I don't want to hold him back like that.' A part of her still wanted to go through with it, though, so she could have that hold on him, one that Kikyo never would. She gasped at her own notion. How could she ever think something so selfish?

'It wouldn't be right,' InuYasha thought. 'I can't stoop so low as to ask her to have my child. I want to save Miroku just as much as she does, but we just can't do that. She would be putting herself and her body through more stress than she should have to handle right now.'

_It wouldn't be right to feel so trapped._

A/N: Ok, that's the first chapter. Tell me what you think. No flames please. Also, please review. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow! I got way more reviews than I expected! I usually expect about four for the first chapter of any story. Thanks! Oh, and don't worry, there is going to be a lot of InuKag in this story. They're my favorite couple! Ok, well, here's chapter two.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own squat

InuYasha changed positions again; he had been so restless ever since the incident with Kagome. He sat up, staring around the cave, feeling completely frustrated. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' he asked himself. He closed his eyes, leaning against the stone wall. 'Damn it all! There must be some other way to fix this!' He slammed his fists into the ground, cursing himself. He looked up hearing footsteps reverberating around him, watching as Kagome entered the cave.

"Hey," she said, forcing a smile. "I really want to talk to you."

InuYasha nodded. "Sure." He eyed her carefully as she settled next to him. Her face appeared less weary than before; she had regained color.

Kagome took a deep breath. "I want to know…" She paused to take a longing glance at him. "What do you think about our situation? I mean, is it completely out of the question, or what?"

InuYasha didn't speak for a long while. 'What the hell am I supposed to say? Yeah, why don't we just have a kid, Kagome, because that won't change anything! Or, maybe she wants me to say no. Then again, if she wanted that then why would she even ask?'

"Are you…going to say anything?" Kagome questioned nervously as she twiddled her fingers.

"Feh! I think that we should try to consider other options before we make any rash decisions!"

Her eyes widened. 'He's actually thinking about it,' she realized, stunned. She pushed the thought aside, turning back to InuYasha. "What other options are there? We can't just leave Miroku and we've already tried to move the rock. I don't know; it doesn't seem like we have much of a choice."

InuYasha stood up, facing her. "I don't think you really understand what this would do! A baby would get in the way! What about the jewel shards? Is our mission not important anymore just because Miroku's gone?"

"I never said that!" Kagome alleged, her expression turning angry.

"You weren't even thinkin' about it! You just feel guilty! I don't want to change our whole lives just because of guilt, Kagome!"

"Are you telling me that you don't feel guilty? Miroku is our friend and we may be his only hope!" Kagome's voice was cracking as spoke. She could feel tears building up, threatening to fall.

InuYasha sighed, lowering his voice. "It's not that I don't feel bad about it, it's just that I don't want this now. I've got enough to worry about already."

Kagome's heart sank. Hearing those words directly from him made it all clear. _I've got enough to worry about already. _He didn't say 'we'. She noticed that as the words left his lips, his voice seemed to grow softer, almost as if he didn't want her to hear them. 'He must be talking about Kikyo,' she thought gravely. 'How could I have been so stupid? Of course he doesn't want to do this. He knows that if we went through with it he would be stuck…with me.' She hastily got up, hurrying out of the cave.

"Where do you think you're goin'?" InuYasha inquired in his usual, mocking tone.

Kagome didn't answer; she didn't even look back.

"Kagome?" Shippo stood outside the cavern watching his friend storm out. He shot a defiant stare at InuYasha. "Idiot."

(0000000000000000)

"This is all my fault!" Sango cried, slapping the water in the river in front of her, unable to endure her own reflection.

"Cheer up, Sango!" Shippo smiled brightly in an attempt to encourage Sango to do the same. "It's not your fault at all. You can't control what Inuyasha and Kagome fight about."

"I was the one who couldn't save Miroku!" She reminded him. "If he hadn't been captured they wouldn't be in this mess right now!" Her voice grew quiet as she placed her hands on her chest, as if she were attempting to stifle her heartache. "I shouldn't have ever asked them to do this. They barely make eye contact anymore. Every time they talk it ends up turning into a fight." Her gaze fell; she recalled the changes in her friends. Kagome was now very timorous around InuYasha, and he refused to say anything unless spoken to first. They had isolated themselves from one another. "I'm ruining their relationship."

(000000000000000)

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!" InuYasha's fist collided with the boulder, once again failing to break it. He rushed to the side of the rock, pressing his back up against it. He put as much pressure as he could on it. He stayed that way for the longest time until his body gave way. "It's no use," he admitted acrimoniously to himself as he sunk down onto the gravel. "There's just no way to move this thing." He turned his head slightly to take a glimpse at the message. InuYasha scowled resentfully at the words. Why couldn't things just be simpler?

His thoughts turned to Kagome. 'Why did she run away?' he cogitated, absentmindedly running his fingers over the memorandum. 'I guess this whole thing is just too much for her, but, I mean, come on! She can't really expect me to agree to have a child! Why would she want to put herself through that, anyway? Why isn't _she_ the one insisting that we need to find another way to get Miroku back?' He could only come to one conclusion. 'She really wants to have this baby, but…' He heaved a sigh out of aggravation. 'I don't want this, not now. There are too many things I have to get done before we get all _settled. _

He shuddered at the word. Not once in his life had he been settled, although he had come close once before with Kikyo. This whole thing with Kagome was completely different, though. He had never even thought about children, much less about having a family so early in his relationship with her. They were both, after all, unbearably shy and self-doubting around one another already.

InuYasha felt a blush creeping across his cheeks. 'I can't go that far with her! Besides, it's not like it's a guarantee that it'll work after only one try.' He was definitely blushing now. Sure, he had thought about sex before, but now, the idea of actually going through with it was completely new. He wouldn't have a clue about what he was doing. It would be awkward and nerve-racking, and he was sure that the "first time" was not supposed to be that way.

"That's it!" he screamed, standing up. "This whole thing is just too hard! I don't want to make this choice!" He knelt down, slamming his fists into the ground consecutively.

"You seem angry," Sango said meekly as she stepped in the cave.

InuYasha glared at her. "What the hell did you say to Kagome to make her so damn persistent about this?" He was on his feet as he waved a hand at the message on the stone.

Sango bit back a cry of remorse. 'I guess I've shoved you two into a corner, haven't I?' She let a meager sob escape her. "I know that it won't help if I apologize, but I am sorry. I don't want to force you to do anything. This is my fault; I should be the one making the sacrifices."

InuYasha couldn't say anything to her. Just seeing her so upset made him feel like he should do something; he felt so accountable.

"We should all just go."

InuYasha looked up at her. What was she getting at?

"There's nothing we can do to save Miroku. I don't want to hold back our mission any longer, and I know that he wouldn't want that either. Being in this place just makes it harder for me, anyway. I need to get away for awhile," she told him. Her voice seemed to be straining as she spoke.

"There's no way we're just going to give up like this!" InuYasha shouted with an indomitable tone. "We'll just have to find another way, and if we can't…" He took a deep breath. "I guess Kagome and I will just have to have the child."

Sango watched in disbelief as InuYasha strutted outside.

'What was I thinkin'?' InuYasha asked himself as he continued out of the clearing, into the forest. 'I shouldn't just go making promises like that. I don't even know if Kagome is ok with this.' He reached a small circle of trees. He bounded onto a branch with it the leaves of one of them, plopping down to lean against the trunk.

(00000000000000)

Kagome lay on her bed. It felt so good to be back in her own era. She had borrowed Kirara from Sango after her fight with InuYasha. 'He wants so much for things to be back to normal,' she thought sadly. 'I shouldn't be compelling him to do this. I don't even want to-' She stopped herself. 'Why do I feel like I'm lying to myself? I don't want this, do I?' Her mind drifted back to her earlier thoughts. 'I felt happy about the thought of having something with him that Kikyo never had.' She had tried to erase that feeling from her head, but she just couldn't.

Kagome sat up. 'I should really get some advice,' she decided, nervously making her way downstairs to the kitchen where he mother was washing dishes.

"Oh, hello Kagome!" Mrs. Higurashi said smiling as she turned around to meet her daughter's gaze. "I didn't realize you were home!"

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Kagome sat down at the table, staring down at it as she tapped her fingers on its surface.

"Of course." She dried her hands off with a dishtowel, folding it up and placing it by the sink. She joined Kagome at the table. "What is it?"

"If your friend asked you to do something that normally you wouldn't even consider doing, but it was to help someone, would you do it?"

Mrs. Higurashi eyed her daughter intriguingly. "That depends on what my friend was asking me to do," she said. "You just have to remember that it's not your job to fix everyone else's problems. I know it may seem like it sometimes, but you can't just give in and help every time."

"What if your friend's life depended on it?" Kagome pried.

Her mother folded her hands, placing them on the table. "As I said, it depends on what I'm being asked to do." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Kagome avoided her mother's gaze, trying to look as innocent as possible. "Well, what if they were asking you to have a baby?" She closed her eyes as she waited for a reaction.

Mrs. Higurashi nearly fell out of her chair. "Kagome, what is going on?" She asked, wide-eyed. "Someone's not asking you to do this, are they?"

"Ok, Mom, try to keep an open mind." Kagome proceeded to explain Miroku's disappearance and the strange writing on the stone "I know it seems crazy," she said. "I just feel like it's something I have to do. I'm not just going to let Miroku die. He's my friend."

"I know you want to help him, but there's got to be some other way. I don't think having a baby right now is a very good idea."

Kagome groaned. "Now you're starting to sound like InuYasha."

"Well, InuYasha is right! You still have school and you've got your quest over in the other time. I don't want you to put all of this stress on yourself. You're just too young. Really, neither or you are ready for something like this." Mrs. Higurashi clasped her hand to her daughter's.

Kagome turned her head away. "He had other reasons," she muttered.

Her mother looked at her sympathetically. "I know that this is your decision, but I just want you to make the right one. You need to think about the consequences before you agree to something like this."

Kagome nodded, pulling her hand away. "I'm going to my room." She stood, heading back upstairs. "I might as well sleep on it," she said to herself. She opened her door, gasping. "InuYasha! What are you doing here?"

He was sitting on her floor giving her a curious look. "What do ya think? I came to take you back! You can't just leave without telling me and expect to stay!" He got up, moving toward her to grab her hand. "Let's go!"

Kagome jerked her hand free. "I'm not going back now! There's no point! We're not even looking for jewel shards, so why does it matter?" She stared up at him impertinently, waiting for his response.

He growled. "We've got to go so we can find another way to get Miroku back!" His tone softened as he looked away from her. "I also told Sango that if we couldn't find another way, then…we could…" He couldn't bring himself to say it.

Kagome was in astonishment. "So, are you're saying that you're willing to have a baby?" she questioned.

"Do you even have to ask?"

She smiled, bringing him into a hug. "Thank you," she whispered.

InuYasha reluctantly put his arms around her. Something didn't feel right. 'I really don't want to do this. Why the hell am I agreeing?' He could've told her that he had changed his mind. He could have simply left, but instead, he kissed her.

A/N: What's gonna happen next? Is InuYasha going to tell her that he doesn't want to, that this is just out of guilt? Or, will he continue the kiss, and lead it to something more? Find out next time! Oh, and don't forget to click that little button. You know, the one that says **REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks so much for all of the good reviews. I really appreciate it. Well, I'm in love with my own story, so I need to go ahead and write this thing! I'm so glad that you're all enjoying it. Thanks again, and here's chapter three. Warning: It has a lot of angst. This may make you cry. It made me cry, but, then again, I'm a sap for love stories.

Disclaimer: sighs As much as I want to, I don't own InuYasha.

'What the hell am I doing?' InuYasha thought, jerking away from Kagome. His eyes were wide as if filled with his own doubts and insecurities. He couldn't understand it. Where did that come from? 'I need to get out of here.' He quickly moved to Kagome's window, sliding it open and leaping out of it.

Kagome could barely breath. 'That was…' Words couldn't even describe what she felt when he kissed her. It was like a fire was ignited inside of her the moment his lips brushed across her own. It was divergent to anything she had ever imagined. Her expression darkened. 'Why did he run, though?' Self-conscious thoughts began to flood her mind. 'What if it wasn't what he expected?' She didn't want to think about that. She just wanted to relish in the knowledge that they had finally passed the hugging stage. Still, whether he had kissed her or not, the fact remained that he ran from her.

Was he scared of what it might have led to? She let out a deep sigh. 'InuYasha is so hard to read sometimes. I wish he would just talk to me about it.' A feeling of loneliness began to slowly ensnare her in its overpowering anguish. 'He's been so distant lately. It feels like I can't reach him anymore.' She extended her arm out, and then pulled it back, as if acting out her thoughts. 'He must be so afraid. This would have a huge impact on our lives, and I get the feeling that he's secretly wishing that it wouldn't.' _False hope. _Why is it that people try to force themselves to believe something that they know is not true? Perhaps it was to create a sense of security. Do they not understand that they would soon wake up to realize that all they believe is just…false?

Kagome shoved the thought away. She could never quite grasp why people would do that to themselves, or why InuYasha would.

(000000000000000000)

InuYasha leaned against the well, looking disgruntled. He took in the quiet surroundings of his era, reliving his mistake. 'What was I thinking?' Not only had he confused himself, but he was sure he had left Kagome in a state of uncertainty as well. Had he subconsciously wanted to kiss her or was it simply a momentary lapse? As he questioned his own motives he began to ponder hers.

After all, he was the one to pull away, not Kagome. She had even said "thank you" after he had finally agreed to fulfill the prophecy, as if that was the answer she was hoping for.

"Why does she want this so much?" InuYasha wondered aloud. It just didn't make any sense. Why did she want to put herself through that? How could she possibly benefit from it?

He stood up, facing the well, hesitating for a moment. He knew that he needed to talk to Kagome; that he wanted to; but he couldn't think of the first thing to say to her. He shook his head. Why couldn't things just stay the same? InuYasha leaned over the well to gaze inside of the only thing that connected him to Kagome. To them, time was meaningless, and easily overcome.

He sighed. 'I can't face her, not now.' He was aware that avoiding the situation would get him nowhere, but it seemed like that was all he could do. 'It's like Kagome said, what choice do we have?' He sunk down, propping up his elbows on the lip of the well. When backed into a corner all you want to do is run, to take quiet steps away from your problem, unnoticed. InuYasha couldn't help but feel this way.

'I can't run forever,' he realized, rising to his feet again. He drew in a deep breath and forced himself to pass through the boundaries of time. InuYasha brushed off his shoulders as his feet touched cool ground in Kagome's era. He leapt out, sliding open the well-house door. 'What should I say to her?' He wanted more than anything to understand why Kagome wanted this baby so much, but he couldn't just come out and ask her.

InuYasha groaned slightly as he stepped inside Kagome's house, looking up to meet the eyes of her curious mother.

"Hello InuYasha!" she said cheerfully, tossing him a grin. "It's good to see you again."

He glanced around the room, his hands tucked in his sleeves. "Is Kagome here? I need to talk to her about somethin'. It's kind of important."

"Actually, she's not." The woman gave him a stern, unwavering look. "I would like to discuss something with you, though." She motioned for him to follow her.

InuYasha gulped, taking a fleeting look back at the door as he was led to the kitchen. 'What could Kagome's mother have to say to me?' he thought, fearing the answer.

Mrs. Higurashi stared at him intensely as she sat with him at the table. "Kagome told me about your situation," she said. "I want you to do something for me. Can you try and convince her that this is a bad idea?"

InuYasha was taken aback. He was not expecting this.

"I've already tried talking to her, but she seems to have her heart set on doing this. I think she's only reluctant because you are. She listens to you, so that's why I'm asking you to do this for me." She paused, looking at him pleadingly.

"I…I…" InuYasha couldn't grasp the words. She was asking him to go against something he had already agreed to. He finally was able to strain a smile. "I'll try." He stood to leave, but quickly turned back to Kagome's mother. "Do you know why she wants the baby so much?" he asked diffidently.

Mrs. Higurashi shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea." She raised an eyebrow questioningly at him as he left the room.

(000000000000000)

Kagome stroked her stomach for the tenth time that day. 'I'm not even pregnant yet and I already feel like I'm gaining weight,' she thought, moaning softly. She turned her attention back to her friends who chattering about something or other around her desk. 'Wait! I can't go to school if I'm pregnant!" Kagome realized suddenly. 'What will everyone think?'

"What's with you, Kagome?"

She glanced up at her friend Eri, who was giving her an intriguing look. She laughed nervously, her hand moving back to her stomach.

"Seriously, what's wrong? You've been doing that all day!" Eri pointed out.

Kagome quickly moved her hand away. "I'm fine, really. It's nothing." Her gaze lowered.

_Nothing _

For the rest of the day, Kagome's mind was restless, plagued by anxiousness. She couldn't quite understand why she had to strain so much to concentrate on anything, or why she felt so uneasy. She walked indolently down the streets of the city as she made her way home, feeling slightly awkward. 'I must be tired,' she decided as she climbed the steps leading to her shrine.

"Hey."

Kagome let out a long, exaggerated sigh. "Hey, InuYasha." She brushed right past him, continuing toward her house.

He growled. "Feh! Fine, ignore me! I was going to talk to you!"

"Ok," she said, placing her stuff on the ground. "I'm listening." She turned back to him, waiting for his response.

He crossed his arms, avoiding her eyes. "I don't want to do this."

It took a moment for the words to sink in. He was taking it back? He said that he was willing, and he took it back. All Kagome could do was stare in utter disbelief. "What?" she finally managed to get out.

"I don't want this, Kagome! I never did…I…" His voice trailed off as he watched her expression grow hurt. What was he doing? This is not what he had intended to say to her, but it just came out. He couldn't stop it and it was tearing him apart.

Kagome backed away from him. "If you hated the idea so much, then…why—why did you agree?" She could feel herself choking on the words, but retained a hard stare in spite of it. She spoke again, barely above a whisper. "Why didn't you just save me from…this?"

"I don't know, damn it! I didn't want to agree! I hate this and I'm tired of feeling guilty about it!"

'He's unhappy,' she thought. 'The one thing I wanted more than anything was for him to be happy and now I'm making him miserable.' She cut herself off, meeting his eyes. "I feel the same way, InuYasha. I-"

"Stop lying!" InuYasha caught her in a harsh glare; his anger was rising. "You don't hate this! You're the one who wants it so bad! I don't know what kind of fantasy you've got goin' on in your head, but this isn't a game, it's real life! I don't want to throw everything away for nothing!"

"It's not for nothing! What about Miroku? At least we would have him back!"

"It wouldn't be worth it."

Kagome took a step back as reality hit her. 'Our friend isn't worth it? Does he really find the idea of having a baby with me so appalling?' She tore her gaze from him. "Right," she murmured. "I understand. So…our baby would mean nothing to you?"

He let the words escape his lips before he could even think about what he was saying. "I don't want that with you."

In that instant, Kagome felt every insecurity—every self-conscious thought she had ever had, engulf her. 'He doesn't want that with me? Does that mean he would rather…' A tear lightly caressed her cheek as she began to grasp the meaning of what he had said. 'He would rather me be…someone else.'

InuYasha was bombarded by a wave of immediate penitence. He didn't even know why he'd said it. "Kagome," he started. "I'm…I didn't…" He stopped himself, knowing that nothing he could say would mend this.

Kagome just wiped away her tears, shaking her head. "Don't apologize. It's not like this is some big surprise. I should've known."

"I didn't mean anything by it," InuYasha insisted weakly. "I just-"

"Now who's lying?" Kagome cried, her voice quivering. "I don't want to hear you make excuses anymore, InuYasha! I know what you meant, so just save it!" She grabbed her stuff, turning away from him.

"Hey!" InuYasha reached out, clasping a clawed hand onto her shoulder, forcing her to face him. "Don't assume you know me that well!"

Kagome tried to pull away from him. "InuYasha, let me go!"

His eyes flashed a dangerous glare, one that Kagome had never seen before. He jerked his hand away, storming back to the well house.

She watched him leave as she placed a hand on her aching shoulder. A harsh wind blew over, creating an almost dream-like atmosphere. Kagome collapsed onto her knees. Everything felt so out of place. How did it turn out this way?

Kagome gave in to tears. Everything she had had with InuYasha seemed to be deteriorating right in front of her eyes.

_I don't want that with you._

"InuYasha," she whispered.

(000000000000000000)

'I could've said anything…anything else!' InuYasha's mind screamed out as he climbed out of the well back into his own era. He couldn't get the painful look on her face out of his head; it was haunting him. However, it wasn't the look itself that disturbed him so, it was the fact that it felt like she had worn that expression before. 'Am I really hurting her that much?'

InuYasha felt so helpless; he didn't even seem to be able to dictate his own life. He knew that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He didn't want to fight with Kagome like this. 'Damn it! There has to be some other way to move that rock! I can't go through this with Kagome right now! She's probably angry with me…'

He paused as he realized what he was doing. 'I'm throwing everything away…for nothing.'

A/N: Finally! I swear I was all out of ideas for this chapter and BAM! I was finally able to write it. I hope you all enjoyed it, even though it was pretty short. Well, I love all this angst, so the next chapter should be up soon, but only if you **REVIEW! I want at least 20 more before I post the next chapter, thanks. **


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys! Ok, I'm finally making headway on chapter four. Please don't hate me for taking so long. Anyway, here it is.

Disclaimer: -runs from hordes of men in black suits- Alright! Alright! I don't own InuYasha!

It was dark. Though the room was slightly illuminated by the iridescent moon, Kagome saw no light. She stared aimlessly out her window, envying the rain that blanketed the world outside. It was free to cry without feeling so alone and isolated. She stifled a sob. All she had to comfort her were the shadows that danced across the wall. Why did she feel so empty? It wasn't as if she had lost InuYasha forever.

'Maybe, but things will never be the same again,' her mind pried. That thought scared Kagome more than anything else. She missed the silly fights they used to have, and the sweet sentiments that would come from them every so often. That was by far better than the awkward silence that had now nestled itself between the two—better than the intense feuds they had in their rare moments of conversation.

"I thought this would bring us closer," Kagome whispered softly within the stillness of her room. She knew she was wrong—that this was tearing them apart. Her thoughts returned to the look InuYasha had given her. "He's never looked at me that way before." She let out a small cry of distress. "I wish this had never happened, that things could just be the same again."

Kagome tore her gaze from the window, staring around her room. She heard voices coming from downstairs. Her heart lurched as she took a quick glance at her clock. Who would be talking at three in the morning? She narrowed her eyes as she moved toward the door, trying to pick up the discussion.

"_That's absurd! How could she even consider something like this?" _

"_I don't know! I tried talking to her, but she wasn't listening! I even talked to InuYasha about it!"_

Kagome gasped at the mentioning of the hanyou's name. She slowly turned the handle on the door, cracking it open to listen more intently.

"Please tell me that InuYasha had a little more sense than Kagome," she heard her grandfather say.

There was a brief pause before her mother spoke. "I think he's just confused about the whole thing. Kagome said he was totally against the idea, but when I asked him to convince her not to go through with it, he seemed reluctant."

Kagome slammed her door shut, backing away from it. 'So, it's all her fault?' Kagome questioned herself incredulously. 'If she hadn't talked to InuYasha, then he may have never said those things to me.' She felt betrayed. Why would her mother do this?

She inhaled sharply, seeing a figure pass through her vision. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt something graze her shoulder.

"Kagome."

Lightning flashed outside, creating just enough brightness for Kagome to catch glimpse of a very wet InuYasha standing behind her. Realizing that he must have been out in the rain, she let out a relieved sigh and turned to face him. Even through darkness, the moment her eyes met his was a defining one. Her breathing became shallow as she continued to stare at him. His form was captivating, the moonlight softly touching his dampened skin.

InuYasha remained silent, holding his penetrating gaze almost curiously so, to see what her next action would be.

Indignant and bitter towards her mother, Kagome had a sudden urge to go against her. In that instant when all coherent thoughts had vanished, she turned around, her fingers slowly touching the lock on her door. She made up her mind and turned it.

InuYasha maintained his perplexed stare. What was Kagome doing? "Wha-" was all he could muster out before her lips collided with his. He was in utter shock. Where did this come from? He regained his composure and pulled away from her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"Don't say anything," she whispered, quickly brushing her mouth across his. "Please, InuYasha?"

His body was giving in quickly; his hands began to run down the length of her body, but his mind was screaming for him to stop. Apparently he was choosing to ignore this, though, as he felt himself being pushed against a wall. His lips were trailing down her neck and his hands were tugging at he clothes. 'Damn it,' he thought. 'This shouldn't happen now, but…' He let out a deep groan as Kagome removed the two layers of his kimono, lightly caressing his chest with her fingers. 'I don't know if I can stop.'

Kagome was in pure bliss. For once she didn't care about school or exams. She wasn't thinking about what her mother thought. Everything about being stuck in Kikyo's shadow flew out the window. For her, it was only this moment, every kiss and every touch. She pulled him closer, leaning in to capture his lips once more.

"Wait," he said huskily, turning his head away from her. "I don't think…"

"Don't think, then." She placed her hand on the side of his face, giving it a gentle stroke. Tossing him a playful smile, she kissed his chin, continuing this action down the side of his neck.

InuYasha pushed against her, despite his better judgment. His mind turned with ponderings. Why was she all of a sudden pushing him into this? Wasn't she still mad about what he had said to her? His lips brushed against hers quickly before he pulled back. "Kagome."

"What?" she breathed, sliding her hands down the sides of his arms.

He moved his head closer to her, nibbling her earlobe affectionately. "I thought you were mad at me."

His statement startled her. She hadn't even been thinking about what happened earlier. How _was it_ that she had gained the nerve to start this? "InuYasha…I…" She couldn't think of what to say to him. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she decided to change the subject. "Did my mother talk to you?"

InuYasha hesitated for a moment. "That's not important," he said.

"No, I want to know. Did she say anything to you about our situation?"

It was at that time that the pieces began to fit together. 'Kagome must know what her mother said to me. Is that why she's doing this? Is it just spite?' His expression darkened as he realized this. He moved her hands off his shoulders, pushing her away. "Yeah, she might of said somethin'. Why does it matter?"

Kagome glared. "It matters because I know that she's the one that convinced you to say that you didn't want this!" Her anger was rising. Why was he avoiding this?

"No, I said that because _I _wanted to! She had nothin' to do with it!"

"What?" Kagome bit her lip, knowing that her voice had been a little louder than she intended. She could hear her heart pounding against her chest in the momentary silence that the room was infused with.

There was a knock at the door. "Kagome?"

'Now I'm done for!' she thought, groaning inwardly. "Just a minute, Mom!" She turned toward InuYasha, or where she thought he was. Kagome blinked. He had already left.

"Kagome," her mother called again.

Kagome quickly straightened her clothes as if trying to brush away all signs of her encounter with InuYasha. She slowly opened her door, trying her best to give the appearance of being tired. "What's going on?" she asked listlessly as she gave a rather exaggerated yawn.

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter austerely, her gaze unwavering. "Would you mind telling me what all the noise was up here?" Her voice was strangely calm, but somehow Kagome got the feeling that there was a raging storm going on inside of her.

"What noise?" Kagome laughed nervously, trying to pull off the innocent look.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. There were some _interesting _sounds coming from here, not to mention the yelling, and I could've sworn I heard InuYasha's voice. Can you tell me what that was about?"

There was no good answer. She could either go into complete denial, or confess and beg for mercy. No matter what she said, she was doomed.

Her mother softened her eyes. "Kagome, what exactly were you and InuYasha doing up here?"

"We were fighting," she replied coolly. "What did you expect after what you said to him?" Kagome tried to keep her tone at ease; she hated talking back to her mother.

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. "I suppose you heard your grandfather and I talking, then? Look, I want you to know that I understand this is your decision, but-"

"Then why are you trying to make it for me?" It was obvious that Kagome was trying to suppress her anger as her voice quivered. She fixed her gaze on her mother, waiting for her response.

"I'm not trying to decide anything for you! I just want what's in your best interest, that's all! You're too young! This would ruin your life!"

"You told InuYasha to convince me that this was a bad idea!" she pointed out, still maintaining her stare. "How is that not deciding for me? You can't just interfere with my life like that, Mom! Do you even have the slightest idea of what this whole mess has been like for me?"

"I'm sure I don't, but…" Her mother took succinct glance at her. "I know that you're not ready for this. I've seen you around InuYasha, and I can already tell that you're both too insecure to take such a huge step in your relationship. It's not right to try and force yourselves into this just because of your friend."

"I'm not forcing…" Kagome trailed off. She knew that she was lying. 'I was the one trying to make InuYasha have sex with me just to get back at my mother. It's not fair to him.' There was nothing more she wanted to do right now than apologize to him.

Mrs. Higurashi looked at her daughter inquisitively. "Kagome?"

"Mom, I know it's late, but there's something I need to take care of. I need to go back to the other era for a while." She spoke faintly as if trying to make up for her earlier screaming.

Her mother nodded. "Just don't make any reckless choices while you're there. Promise you'll think about what I said."

(0000000000000000)

Kagome climbed out of the well. She yawned, stretching her arms and brushing off her skirt. 'Please be awake, InuYasha,' she prayed. Kagome ambled forward, heading for Kaede's village. She caught a small glow out of the corner of her eye. 'What was-" She stopped herself, watching the snake-like figure fly past. 'Kikyo's soul stealer…' Her heart sank. She knew where InuYasha was now.

Though she didn't want to see what was ahead, she felt compelled to follow. It was a strange feeling, like she somehow knew that this was something she had to do. Kagome continued after the shining figure. She listened absorbedly, hearing Kikyo's voice.

"It seems Naraku has hidden himself again," she said. "I'm not completely sure of his whereabouts, but I've been feeling a strong demonic aura passing back and forth throughout these lands."

"You don't have to look for him," InuYasha told her. "I'll get revenge for both of us, I made that promise. You shouldn't be the one going after him."

"It is ourrevenge to make, InuYasha, and I intend to assist in some way."

He nodded, taking a pleading look at her. "I know, but…I don't want you to get hurt again. I want to protect you." InuYasha moved closer to Kikyo, putting his arms around her. "I made that promise too."

Kagome turned away. 'I don't think I can watch this.' She quickly began to walk away, fighting the urge to run. 'They were just talking,' she tried to convince herself. 'There's nothing wrong with that.' She shook her head. No matter what they were doing, the fact that he was with Kikyo still inflicted an internal pain that just wouldn't cease. She couldn't help it; sinking down by the nearest tree, she cried.

(00000000000000000)

'I can smell her tears,' InuYasha thought, as he made his way through the forest he was secluded in. He hadn't even realized Kagome was back. Then again, he didn't realize much of anything these days. 'I can't believe it! I haven't even thought about Naraku since this whole thing with Miroku started! Now he's somewhere out there and I'm not even doing anything to stop him!'

InuYasha mentally cursed himself. He was losing track of everything. Looking up, he saw Kagome. She was crouched down beside a tree, her head resting against her knees.

"Hey," she said softly, not even taking a glance at him.

"Kagome I…why are you crying?"

She stood up slowly, turning to face him. "I saw you with Kikyo," she said. "I know you were just talking, but it hurts me to know that…"

InuYasha stared, waiting for her to continue.

"…You would go so far with me and still…" She choked on her words. She didn't know why she was doing this. She came here to apologize to him and now it seemed expecting him to do so.

"Hey, you forced yourself on me!" he alleged. "You can't be upset about that!"

"I know, I'm sorry! I don't want to be mad at you, but I just can't help it!" She took a deep breath. "I just thought that since you gave in…that maybe you were changing your mind about having the baby, or that you actually felt something for me."

"Even if I did agree, you would have to get it through your head that we would be doing it to save Miroku! This is not for us, it's for him!"

He really didn't feel anything. Kagome couldn't help but avoid his eyes. She didn't want him to see her disheartened expression.

"Is that what this is about?" InuYasha asked, trudging over to her, grabbing her chin to make her face him. "You want this to make us closer?"

"I just want to have something with you that is mine, ok?" she cried. "I know it's selfish, but I just hate…being second best."

InuYasha glared. 'She only wants something that Kikyo never had? So, she's trying to make me choose her?' His anger built up to a point where all of his self-control was lost. The strike was quick and swift, so unexpected that even InuYasha gasped at his own actions. 'I…I hit her!'

A/N: Dundundun! What now? Hehe! Ok, I finally finished this. I'm sorry that it took so long. I will have you know that I was wavering on whether to have a lemon in the chapter or not. So, I made a pros and cons chart. It worked out for the best, I think. Anyway, I'll update as soon as I can. I have a lot to do, though. Please** REVIEW! **I barely missed 20 last time. It was by about 3 reviews. Oh well. That's more of a goal than a standard.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Alright, here's chapter five! Finally! Thank you all so much for all your great comments! You have no idea how much I appreciate them. I want to especially thank you, Gnome InuYasha, for your wonderful comments. You're right, you know. I want to keep you all guessing at InuYasha's stand in the decision. I think that readers shouldn't figure things out until the characters do. At this point, InuYasha doesn't really know what to think, so that's probably why you're confused. It's supposed to be that way. Anyway, here's this chapter.

Disclaimer: I've only said this about a million times, but I don't own InuYasha.

How is it that we lose ourselves so easily? We just get caught in a moment and let our emotions have full dictation over our actions. As InuYasha stood there watching blood trickle down Kagome's cheek, he knew that this was true. Every amount of protection he had promised her seemed to vanish in the instant his hand struck her face—in the second his claws scraped across her flesh. He could still hear her astonished cry resounding inside of his head. For the first time, InuYasha really began to fear himself.

This utter trepidation had made itself evident the first time he transformed into his full-demon state. He had always been so afraid that he would hurt Kagome because of this. Ironically, the one time he let his control slip enough to make him cause her harm he was still himself. It was not his demon blood that had taken over, it was something else in its own entirety; an intense, emotional unbalance that caused him to snap.

InuYasha took two steps back and then three more. Knowing that he couldn't stay, he ran.

Kagome watched him go, feeling as though her body had been paralyzed. She couldn't even tell if she was still breathing. "I can't believe he…" She wasn't able to get the words out as she grazed her fingers across her cheek, gasping when she touched the blood. She hadn't realized it was that bad. Kagome slowly sauntered back toward the well, ensnared in a sense of pure perplexity. She should've felt betrayed or angry, but if this was the case then why was it that she felt like she deserved everything?

'I'm such a horrible person,' she admitted solemnly. 'I shouldn't be doing this, forcing InuYasha…' She shook her head, unwilling to think about what she was doing to him. 'It's wrong.' Kagome moved her hand to touch her cheek once more. It was still throbbing, but with each pain that passed she began to feel alleviated. It wasn't as if the pain was fading; the relief came from the very thought of InuYasha getting back at her. It felt like an immense amount of guilt had suddenly been lifted off her shoulders. She approached the well, propping one leg on the lip of it, preparing to jump in. Looking into its depths, she hesitated.

Something was prying in the back of her mind. She was aware that it was obvious that someone had hit her, and though she knew that she deserved it, she wasn't so sure her mother would be quite as understanding. There was always the slight chance that she would no longer be permitted to cross over to the feudal era. Kagome took her foot off the well, quickly glancing at her surroundings. She was abruptly encased with a strong feeling of entrapment. Where was she supposed to go?

She turned her head as something brushed against her leg. Sighing, Kagome knelt down, stroking the demon cat Kirara. 'Sango must have sent her to wait for me,' she realized.

(00000000000000)

InuYasha stepped inside of the cave where Miroku lay captured. He was in a daze, unable to really concentrate on anything except for what he had done, wishing that it was just some kind of nightmarish reverie. He looked up to face the stone; everything was its fault. That's what he wanted to believe, anyway. 'No, it's my fault,' he divulged sullenly. As much as he hated to admit it, he understood that he was entirely to blame.

"InuYasha?"

He took a glance behind, seeing Sango standing at the entrance of the cave. He tore his gaze from her, not wanting to face anyone right now. "Just lay off, ok?"

Sango simply nodded. She could tell something was wrong and had this horrible gut feeling about it. What was going on? 'He probably had another fight with Kagome,' she decided, sighing softly. She turned, pivoting on her heel to walk out. 'Kirara?' Sango narrowed her eyes slightly. 'She's got Kagome with her.'

Time suddenly slowed down. When Kagome stepped inside the cave, holding a timorous expression, Sango was at a loss for words. The mark on her friends face was inconceivable. It was red, covered in dried-up blood, and, by the looks of it, there was already a bruise forming.

Kagome passed a fleeting look at InuYasha before turning her attention to Sango. "Hi," she said casually, as if nothing was wrong.

"What happened?" Sango asked immediately. "Did someone hit you?"

Kagome held her breath, taking another glimpse at InuYasha. "It's nothing. I'm fine." She attempted a smile, but winced as a sting spread throughout her cheek.

Sango just stared. Her gaze was now focused on InuYasha. Nothing. There was no reaction. 'This is strange,' she thought. 'Normally, InuYasha would be on his feet demanding who did this to Kagome, but…he's just sitting there. Why would he-" She stopped herself, eyes widening as she noticed the very vague claw marks on Kagome's face. 'Was he the one that hit her?'

InuYasha stood up unexpectedly, saying nothing. He turned around, giving Kagome a lingering look before walking past her and out of the cave.

Kagome let out a sob. There was something in his eyes that told her that he was sorry for what he had done, that he felt remorseful. She didn't want him to feel guilty, though. 'I want him to be ok with this,' she thought. 'I want him to be able to put this behind him, so we can finally get back to the way things were before.'

"Kagome?" As much as Sango hated this, she had to ask. "That mark…did InuYasha…" She tried to make her words as gentle as possible, knowing that that was what Kagome probably needed at this point. "Did he do this to you?"

Kagome looked away. "We just got into another fight."

"That's no excuse for him to hit you, Kagome! You can't possibly think he had a real reason!"

"He did," she said softly. "I was forcing him…I…" Her quiet tone grew quickly. "I was using our situation to make him choose me over Kikyo!" Hearing these words finally leave her own mouth, Kagome was abruptly overcome by the reality of them.

"What?" Sango was completely baffled. Kagome was the least selfish person she knew and yet, somehow, she had heard the most selfish words come from her friend. 'Why would Kagome do that?' she wondered. 'It just doesn't make any sense.' She glanced up as Kagome's feeble voice reached her ears.

"I never thought things would get this bad. I know InuYasha and I fought all the time before, but…it's just different now. Ever since Miroku was captured, everything has gotten so much worse. I don't even know if I should be around InuYasha anymore."

'No,' Sango inwardly cried. 'I can't let this happen. Those two are my only hope for getting Miroku back. If this goes on much longer, then there will be no chance for him, for us.' She couldn't take this. "Kagome," she began.

Kagome wiped her teary eyes before locking them with Sango's.

"Why…why are you doing this? Why did you have to be so selfish?" Sango's voice harsh and almost demanding as she spoke. "You should've just let it be!"

Kagome stared fearfully. She had not expected Sango to be angry, though she hadn't expected sympathy either. "I don't know," she answered finally. "I guess something must be wrong with me." Kagome turned, running out of the cave. She needed more than anything to get away. She watched the forest wash by her as she ran. For some reason, though, she felt like there was nothing there, like she was completely alone.

She gasped as her foot caught on a stray root, sending her forward. 'I don't care,' she thought. 'I don't care if I fall.' She waited for her face to come in contact with the ground, but it never did. Kagome felt herself being pulled to her feet.

"You should be more careful."

"InuYasha," she whispered, pulling her body away from his arms. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She continued to say it over and over again, feeling like she couldn't say it enough.

"What are you apologizing for?" he asked. "Kagome, I'm the one who hit you! I should-"

"No!" Kagome was shaking her head, trying not to listen to him. "I don't want you to be sorry! I…I know I deserved it. I want you to understand that and accept it. Please?"

InuYasha was speechless. Did she really think that? He stared at her through his golden irises, trying to convey a sense of security for her, a burning compassion that would make her feel safe. "You didn't deserve it," he said. "I was out of line." He moved slightly closer to her.

"Don't tell me that," Kagome cried. "What I'm doing, it's not fair to you."

"And you think it's fair that I hit you?" InuYasha's voice quivered as he glanced at Kagome's swollen cheek.

She nodded weakly.

He sighed, approaching her slowly, murmuring her name. His two strong arms found their way around her slender waist, and he pulled her into his warm embrace. He said nothing, but simply held her close, silently praying that he could show her what she really deserved. He bent his head down, so his forehead touched hers as he watched her eyelids flutter shut.

Kagome felt as if she had finally found her oasis. For once, she was the one firmly wrapped in the arms of InuYasha, the one with his hot breath lightly brushing against her face.

"I just don't know anymore," he said, pulling back slightly.

Kagome's eyes flew open. "What?"

"I hurt you, Kagome. That's one thing I promised myself I would never do. If you were to stay here, I might do it again." He couldn't stand that thought. Sighing, he reluctantly looked at her expression.

"You want me to go then?" Kagome tried her best to subdue her oncoming tears. 'I don't blame him, but…' She stopped her thoughts for just a moment. 'I still want to stay with him.' She pushed herself closer to him, holding on tightly, afraid to let go. Running her hands down his back, her lips curled into a small smile as she inhaled his sweet scent. 'I might as well savor this moment,' she decided. 'It may be the last one I have with him.'

'Does she still want to be with me, even after what I did?' InuYasha wondered, surprised. "Stupid," he muttered.

Kagome's heart soared. That sounded like the InuYasha she knew. And, though "stupid" wasn't exactly a complement, she felt that there was nothing sweeter that he could've said. "Would it be ok if I stayed?" she asked quietly, despite the fact that her mind was screaming for him to say yes.

InuYasha didn't reply, but he gave her a reassuring squeeze. Finally, things were getting back to normal.

(00000000000000000000)

"Do you really think that will work, InuYasha?" Sango asked, looking quite dubious. She passed a quick glance at Kagome before turning back to him.

"No, I'm not sure, but it's worth a shot!" InuYasha was holding up Tetsusaiga, it's blade giving off a red glow. "Maybe this will break the barrier around the stone that's keeping Miroku inside." He raised the sword over his shoulder, leaping toward the rock, casting the blade forward.

Nothing.

"Damn it!" InuYasha repeated the attack.

Still nothing.

"There's not even a barrier on this thing!" InuYasha hissed through gritted teeth. "What the hell is keeping him inside?"

"It might be that there was a spell put on the stone and not a barrier," Sango suggested. "In that case, there must be only one way to get Miroku out." She looked up at InuYasha. After all, he was the one that had said that if they weren't able to find another way to move the stone, then he was willing to fulfill the prophecy.

InuYasha avoided her eyes. 'I shouldn't have made that promise,' he told himself. 'I don't want…' His gaze moved to Kagome, who was watching him silently from a corner of the cave. She had been so distant ever since they had come to terms again. 'You'd think she'd be happier.' He didn't understand it. It was her choice to stay with him and she had. So, why was it that she was so withdrawn?

'There's no other way,' Kagome thought. 'We've tried everything. We even had Kaede use ancient scrolls to try and destroy whatever is keeping Miroku inside. I guess it really is up to InuYasha and me.' She heaved a long, exaggerated sigh. 'If I try and convince InuYasha again, though, I'll feel guilty. I don't want to push this on him.' She attempted to sneak a look at him, but turned her head, noticing that he was trying to do the same to her.

As he stared at her, an inward battle was raging inside of him. 'What am I supposed to do? I already know what Kagome wants, so it's just up to me." No matter what, he kept hearing "I don't want this" over and over again. But, that was quickly followed by "Miroku is your friend". He was literally stuck. 'Ok, rock, hard place, and me.' He continued to watch Kagome out of the corner of his eye. Were they ready? Could they really handle this right now? It could've been hours that he sat there, but he was finally able to clear his mind. He knew what he was going to do.

A/N: Ok, that's it for now! I wonder what InuYasha has decided. Who knows? Well…I do. Ok, I'm done rambling. Anyway, please review.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok, here's chapter six. Be prepared, because this is going to be an "intense" chapter. Oh, and thank you for all of the reviews. I was finally able to reach my goal. Some of the reviews did freak me out, though. Someone said that the chapters were a little mixed up. I immediately went to the site to make sure I didn't accidentally put them out of order. I didn't, so I don't really know what they were talking about. Oh well. Here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I do have two plushies of him, though. I have the half-demon one and the human one. Kawaii!

Chapter 6: Blue (Part 1)

InuYasha's breathing was shallow, but steady, as he dealt with the tantalizing thoughts running through his head. His whole body felt like a bundle of nerves that he couldn't gain control over. It was odd—he had never been so anxious in his life. He watched small embers dance out of the fire in front of him, illuminating the dark cave. After coming to his decision, he had spent all day in silence, never speaking, his mind running wild. Now, in the shadows of the night, he was more at peace with himself.

His gaze altered to the sleeping girl on the other side of the cave. As he watched her serene expression, he couldn't help but wonder if he had made the right choice. "Kagome," he murmured, standing up to look closer at her. Smiling faintly, he slowly edged toward her, kneeling next to that "bag" she slept in. A small stab of pain shot through his heart as he caught a glimpse of the bruise on her cheek.

InuYasha placed his hand on the wound, massaging it with his soft caress. 'She shouldn't have stayed,' he thought to himself, despite the fact that he was inwardly ecstatic that she had decided to do so. He sighed, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. The sound of her exhaling combined with her intoxicating scent created such a calming atmosphere. He closed his eyes, letting himself drown in it. Before he could allow himself to drift off, everything stopped.

'What?' InuYasha glanced down at Kagome, waiting for her to breathe, but she didn't. "Kagome!" he whispered frantically. He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her as gently as possible.

Kagome coughed violently, her eyes opening wide as she bolted upright. "InuYasha," she cried insistently, looking around the cave in utter horror.

InuYasha shushed her, pulling her close to his body. "What happened?"

She looked up at him earnestly. "I don't know. I had a dream…a nightmare. I told Sango that we couldn't get Miroku back," she explained, shivering. "Sango just started crying…she wouldn't stop. Her tears suddenly turned into a wave of water and forced me to the ground. I was trapped underneath it. I couldn't breathe." Kagome gripped InuYasha's shoulders, sinking into the comforting heat that he offered. "I guess all of this is because I know Sango will be upset when we tell her that we won't…" She trailed off.

InuYasha nodded, taking off his haori and wrapping it around Kagome's quivering form.

She began to relax, welcoming the warmth. "So, you've made up you mind, then?" Kagome asked, though she was quite confident that she knew the answer.

"Yeah," he said bluntly as he avoided her curious stare.

"And?" Kagome watched his face with unwavering intensity. 'That was a stupid question,' she told herself, frowning slightly.

"Ain't it obvious?"

Kagome lowered her gaze. 'Right,' she thought. 'I figured as much.' She sat there, watching the floor in perfect reticence. She didn't want him to see her disappointed expression. 'How could I have hoped he had changed his mind?'

"It's not like we have much of a choice," InuYasha continued suddenly. "We can't just…" He hesitated for a moment. "…Leave Miroku there."

Kagome looked up at him; he was staring right at her. "InuYasha, you're…" She shook her head in disbelief. This had to be a dream. There was no way he'd give her so much fuss about not wanting this, and then turn around and agree to it. "Please don't joke about this. We both know what you really want, so don't-"

"I'm dead serious." He tightened his grip around her. "I thought about it for a long time. I know what I said, but…I don't want to hurt you anymore." He spoke those last words quickly and barely above a whisper.

"You're not hurting me," Kagome said meekly, leaning closer to his touch.

"Don't lie, Kagome." InuYasha took a painful glance at her cheek. "You've cried more in this past week than I've ever seen you cry before. I don't want to be the cause of that."

"InuYasha…" She instinctively looked up at him with gentle eyes.

"Would you guys be quiet already?" a very annoyed Shippo grumbled quite abruptly, crawling off of Kagome's sleeping bag. "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

(0000000000000000)

"Are you serious? You're actually going to…" Sango was in too much shock to continue.

InuYasha and Kagome had just announced their final decision that morning, taking a rather eager Sango by surprise. Though InuYasha had promised her, she still had her doubts about whether or whether not he would actually see it through.

"This is great!" Sango said with the happy expression that had been absent from her face since Miroku had been captured.

Kagome smiled amiably at Sango, who, from the looks of it, had completely brightened up. 'Now, all of this tension can finally go away.'

(0000000000000000)

'Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!' Kagome let out an exasperated sigh as she leaned against a tree in the nearby forest. It had been three whole days since she and InuYasha had decided to have the baby, and with every passing second the anxiety between them grew. 'How are we supposed to do this if he won't even get near me?' she asked herself.

InuYasha had been constantly, almost purposefully, avoiding her during the last couple of days. She understood his nervousness, but this was becoming too much of a tedious task. 'I have to fight so hard just to get him alone, and then he makes some excuse so he can leave.' Kagome began tapping her fingers on the ground absentmindedly, as if further implying her frustration. 'This shouldn't be so hard.'

She tilted her head backwards, letting a warm breeze graze her face. Bringing her hand up to her cheek, she smiled. The bruise was almost completely gone; all traces of that incident had nearly vanished. She was fairly sure that InuYasha was beginning to feel less culpable now that the wound was healing, not that she saw him enough to really know.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Kagome turned her head slightly, seeing Sango standing beside her with a reserved look about her. "No, I don't mind."

Sango settled against the tree. "InuYasha sent me," she said. "He didn't want you out here alone."

"I see." Kagome sighed. 'And he couldn't come down here himself because…?'

"Kagome, I have to tell you something." Sango took a sympathetic glance at her friend. She inhaled deeply, wanting to sound sincere. "What I said to you before—about being selfish—was wrong and I apologize."

Kagome didn't understand where this was coming from. She didn't want an apology, and didn't expect one; that wouldn't be right. "I _was_ being selfish, though!"

"We're all being selfish in our own way," Sango pressed. "Either way, I should have been comforting you. Instead, I yelled at you. It wasn't fair."

Kagome said nothing for a long while. Clearly, Sango was not going to let it be; she obviously wanted some kind of reconciliation. "Sango, I get it," Kagome told her finally. "You just want Miroku back. You were probably just scared that if InuYasha and I were fighting so badly, then that would never happen. What you said had nothing to do with me, but only those feelings." Kagome gave her a reassuring smile.

Sango nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate that." She turned her head away as her face began to develop a pink hue. "There is one more thing I want to know," she stated rather shakily. "You and InuYasha…it's been a few days…I mean, have you…" She groaned inwardly. 'Just come out and ask her!' her mind cried.

Kagome was enveloped in her own nervous laughter, feeling a blush creep across her cheeks. 'She might as well have just asked me if I've had sex with InuYasha yet,' she thought in sheer embarrassment. "It's not like we're ever really alone together," she said through unnerved giggles.

"I can fix that for you if you want," Sango told her, eagerness hitched in her voice. "I don't mind leaving for a while. Of course, you could always go to your time…"

The blush on Kagome's face continued to deepen as Sango rambled on. 'It's not like I didn't know this would have to happen eventually… I guess I just never really thought about actually taking that step with InuYasha.' She brought her hands up to her face, massaging her temples. 'No wonder he's so nervous.'

(00000000000000)

InuYasha growled in pure frustration. He was crossing his arms, trying to hold back the urge to pace around the cave in an attempt rid himself of this dissatisfaction. It was hard to stand this nervousness that seemed to be coursing through his body, causing him to shudder slightly. 'Why can't I bring myself to face her?' he wondered. Though part of him knew it was true, he would never admit to himself that he didn't feel ready.

Yes, he wanted her, but his fear seemed to override that want. His decision to avoid her wasn't making it any better, either. He had no doubts that she was upset with him, but he couldn't just allow himself to explain what was going on. She'd surely think less of him. After all, he was the one who had agreed, and now he was running from his own choice.

There were moments, of course, when he had come close to letting go of his insecurities. InuYasha would suddenly feel his instincts taking over, drawing him toward her scent; but when he got anywhere close to her, he felt like he was doing something vile and wrong. He grunted at his own apprehension.

"What are you so worked up about?" Shippo asked, quirking his eyebrow at the hanyou. InuYasha had been standing in one spot for at least ten minutes with a determined expression, his body twitching every now and again. Shippo shook his head. InuYasha sure did look like such an idiot sometimes.

As if InuYasha knew what Shippo was thinking, he sent the young kitsune hurtling across the cave. "This is none of your damn business, Shippo!"

"Sit!"

InuYasha's eyes widened as his face met the ground. Kagome always took Shippo's side.

"Could you try being a little nicer to him, InuYasha? He's just a kid!" Kagome stepped into the cave, sending the hanyou a miffed glance.

Recovered from the subduing spell, InuYasha stood up, shooting a menacing glare at Kagome. "Maybe _you _could try being nicer to _me_, then!" he said in an aggravated tone, though he immediately regretted it.

Kagome stared at him, taken aback. He had never said anything like that to her before. It took all of her willpower to maintain her stern expression. "Well, I'd have time to be nice to you if you'd stop avoiding me!" she alleged, fighting to keep her voice from shaking.

Sango slapped her hand to her face as she entered the cave. She couldn't believe they were fighting already. Kagome hadn't even been there for a minute yet! 'We're never going to get Miroku back at this rate,' she moaned inwardly. She stepped forward, quickly coming up with a plan. "Oh no! I forgot my…Hiraikotsu!" she shouted suddenly in a rather overdramatic tone. "Shippo, why don't you help me find it?"

Shippo looked at her curiously. "Sure, I guess."

"Great!" She gestured Shippo forward, and gave InuYasha a quick look. "You should stay here and protect Kagome," she told him. "We'll be back in few hours!" She hurried out of the cave, Shippo following closely behind.

Kagome watched them leave in confusion. 'Hours? That can't be right. It won't take that long to find her Hiraiko-' She stopped herself as she recalled what Sango had said to her earlier.

_I don't mind leaving for a while_

'You've got to be kidding me! She doesn't really expect InuYasha and me to…' She glanced back at InuYasha, who had securely perched himself next to the stone in the back of the cave, his eyes fixed on the wall. She sighed. 'I wish he would just talk to me instead of acting so reserved about it.'

An awkward silence quickly settled between the two, creating a severe tension. Inside, InuYasha was battling his emotions. He had the most relentless urge to leave, but he knew that he couldn't. In doing this, he would leave Kagome open to any kind of danger that might lurk past. He wouldn't let himself do that to her after everything he had already put her through.

"InuYasha?"

He hesitantly looked up to see Kagome standing in front of him, her face overcome with softness. Her expression was gentle with a certain easiness about it.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asked quietly. "I haven't really seen you that much lately. What's been going on?"

There was a sincerity in her voice that InuYasha couldn't resist. His gaze altered to the ground as he retained his silence. He wanted her to know, but still, he couldn't bring himself to tell her of his fears and resistance. "It doesn't matter," he replied at last.

"It does," Kagome insisted. "Something's obviously bothering you, and I hate seeing you like this. You can tell me, you know." She sat down next to him, tilting her head in his direction, watching the expression on his face carefully.

He jerked his head away from her eyes. "Just drop it, ok?"

She observed him charily. "What are you so afraid of?" Her voice was not harsh at all, but gentle; she knew that the last thing he needed was to be yelled at.

"It doesn't concern you," InuYasha said simply in a disdainful tone.

"Of course it does!" Kagome fought hard to keep herself from screaming. "InuYasha, what ever it is that's been bothering you, it's caused you to avoid me. I just want to know what it is, so I can help you."

"I don't need any help!"

Kagome groaned. This was going nowhere. InuYasha was never the type to share his feelings, or express them in any way. It didn't matter how much she needed or wanted him to. "Alright, if you're sure," she said, moving to stand up.

"It's just…I don't…I'm not…" InuYasha searched for the words, but they never came. He grumbled, turning to face the wall again.

"You're not going to change your mind again, are you?" Kagome questioned almost fearfully. "We already told Sango, and I don't want to disappoint-"

"I'm not!" He huffed in annoyance with his own loss for words. "Look, if we're gonna do this, then we might as well get it over with."

Kagome bit back a sharp gasp. He wasn't serious was he? She sighed. As much as she hated the idea of her first time being in a damp cave, she knew that if InuYasha felt ready now, then she should take the chance while she could. "Ok."

Time passed slowly, too slowly for either of their liking. Kagome sat next to InuYasha, patiently waiting for something to happen, while he did the same. Clearly, neither of them had thought this all the way through.

"You can touch me, you know," Kagome told him edgily.

"Feh! I know!" He kept his head turned away from her prying eyes in order to hide the blush that had made its home on his face.

'Well, if he's not going to make the first move, then…" She gulped nervously. "I guess I will."

A/N: I'm so sorry that took so long! Please forgive me! I swear I had writer's block for almost two entire weeks! I never really got over it, actually, but I did manage to write this chapter. I'm going to give you all a fair warning that updating will be very hard for me during the next couple of months. I've got so many vacations. In April, I'm going to Orlando. In May, I'm going to China. In June, I'm going back to Orlando. And, in July, I'm going to Georgia for a few weeks. During the time I have in between, I promise that I will write like crazy. Ok, enough said. Please **REVIEW! **


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ok, I'm finally starting chapter seven. This should be an interesting one. I have no idea where I'm going with it, but I guess I get to find out right now. Yay! I'm excited! Erm…on with the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha.

Chapter 7: Blue (Part 2)

Kagome glanced nervously at InuYasha as she became increasingly aware of her pounding heart. 'Ok, I can do this!' she told herself firmly. 'I can…' She shuddered at the thought. No matter how much she desperately wanted to believe it, she knew that she wasn't even approaching being ready for this step. She shook her head. 'I can't lose my nerve now! I have to…go for it.' Kagome made an attempt to scoot herself closer to InuYasha, her hands shaking.

InuYasha blushed, inadvertently moving away from her. He cursed at himself. 'Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me?'

Kagome let out an exaggerated sigh. Was he really that scared? 'It doesn't make sense, though,' she thought. 'We came so close while we were in my time, and he definitely wasn't having any trouble then.' She recalled the feel of his lips against her skin, the feel of his body draped across hers. In that state, every moment was breathless; amazing. Kagome wanted to undergo such sensations again, but she found herself reluctant, knowing that InuYasha felt the same. Even still, this was something they had to do.

"Damn! Sango sure is takin' her sweet time!" InuYasha said suddenly in a derisive voice, turning toward the wall. His eyes widened as he felt Kagome's hand lightly touch his shoulder.

"InuYasha." Her tone was soft, almost seductive with the way his name slipped gingerly off her lips. She timidly moved in front of him, grasping his chin with her fingers. "I thought you said that we should get it over with," she breathed, leaning slightly closer to him.

InuYasha felt his body go rigid as her lips came too close for comfort. 'It's not like we've never been this close before!' his mind screamed at him. 'I just…can't…' He battled his emotions as Kagome continued to close the distance between them. "Wait," he whispered frantically.

Kagome pulled back, inwardly groaning. "What's wrong?" She tried her best not to sound too hostile, aware of the fact that InuYasha was probably feeling immensely insecure at this point, though it faintly agitated her.

"We…can't…do _this_ now," he strained out, fighting for the breath he had lost during Kagome's assault. He growled at his own words. As much as he wanted her, he just couldn't bring himself to take her. Was he afraid? Did he think that he wasn't good enough? Were thoughts of past love experiences taunting him, driving him mad, and invoking an apprehensive feeling inside of him? In all honesty, he had no idea.

"InuYasha?"

He tore himself from his thoughts to meet Kagome's questioning stare. "What do ya want now?" he muttered, crossing his arms, giving him an almost defiant look.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Kagome asked halfheartedly as she settled next to him.

"There ain't nothin' to talk about!" InuYasha snapped, sending her one of his classic, sardonic glares. "Look, I just…" He stopped himself, not sure of what he was trying to say.

Kagome kept her eyes locked on his face, as if his expression spoke words. She so badly wanted to understand his fear, his constant avoidance of their situation. He wasn't usually one to just run from his problems, so why was this one so utterly different for him?

"Sango might come back soon anyway," InuYasha spat out quickly. That was a total lie. He mentally kicked himself a few times. After all, it was blatantly obvious as to why Sango had left in the first place, judging by the convenience of it all. He had no qualms that she would be sure to be gone for an appropriate amount of time.

"It's ok if you're nervous," Kagome told him, leaning against the wall of the cave. "To be honest, I'm not too sure about this either." She tilted her head, her eyes casting him a concerned glance. "I just wish you would talk to me, instead of avoiding me. I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."

"I told you, there is no problem!" InuYasha grunted in frustration, his face now turned to the wall. "Leave it alone, will ya?"

"Stop lying!" Kagome grabbed his shoulder, pulling him closer to her. "Telling yourself that there's nothing wrong won't make it go away, InuYasha!" She lowered her voice as he turned to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry. I guess it must be hard for you to-"

"Just shut-up!"

Kagome pulled her hand back, nodding. 'I shouldn't have said anything,' she thought as she stood up to leave, taking one last look at him. 'Why does he have to keep everything to himself? I just wish that he would trust me enough to actually talk to me. I guess he just needs time…' She began to move toward the mouth of the cave, her eyes leaving him.

"Kagome…"

She turned to face him, her heart skipping a beat when her eyes met his. They were soft, almost shining as the light from the peering sun beat against them. She couldn't help but gasp at the sight; his eyes had never been like that before.

"I don't…I don't know what's wrong," InuYasha said. "I just…I can't." He turned his head slightly, evading Kagome's incredulous stare.

Kagome continued to gaze at him through understanding eyes. "InuYasha, I…"

"You should go home," he told her. "You haven't been back in a while."

Kagome watched in surprise. InuYasha never let her go home, even when she asked. Why would he just tell her to leave? She shook the thought away, deciding that InuYasha probably needed some time alone. 'We both do,' she added silently to herself.

"Let's go."

Kagome glanced down, seeing InuYasha kneeling in front of her. She nodded and climbed onto his back, letting herself sink into the delicious warmth that he offered. It was almost addictive, the feeling of his body against hers. She let of a sigh as he began to run out of the cave. She felt as if she had been temporarily enveloped in an indescribable oasis, with the wind and forest rushing around her, and InuYasha gliding under her. It was…beautiful.

(000000000000000000)

'I can't believe it's been five days, and InuYasha still hasn't come to get me,' Kagome thought sadly as she stared aimlessly out her bedroom window. Normally, she would've gone back herself, but with InuYasha acting the way he was, she wasn't completely sure that would be the right thing to do. 'I should get some sleep anyway,' she decided, slightly annoyed. Unfortunately, she had school the next day, not to mention a test that she hadn't studied for. No matter how hard she tried, it seemed that she couldn't concentrate on anything; everything came down to InuYasha.

Kagome moved away from the window, turning off the lamp on her nightstand as she sauntered languidly toward her bed. She lowered herself onto it, her head falling softly on her pillow. Her eyelids fluttered shut, visions of InuYasha quickly taking over her thoughts. She began to wonder what it would be like when InuYasha finally did decide that he was ready, that they were ready. She smiled, envisioning the hanyou's rough hands running down her body as he swarmed her with tender kisses.

A low moan escaped her lips, her thoughts continuing to pursue further. She began to desire his touch, his body, his love… She stopped herself. 'No.' InuYasha didn't want this to be about love, and he didn't expect it to.

_This is not for us, it's for him!_

Everything they would share would be for Miroku, in order to save him. 'I understand that,' Kagome reasoned. 'I just wish.…' She shook her head. She couldn't let herself try to force him to love her, not again. Why did loving InuYasha have to hurt so much?

She jerked her head up, hearing a light tapping sound against the glass of her window. She examined it closely; through darkness she could barely see InuYasha's shadowy form perched on her windowsill. 'That's right,' she remembered. 'I locked that the other night.' She was now certain that if she hadn't, InuYasha would already be standing in the obscurity of her room.

Kagome stood up; she stretched her arms out, and gave a slight yawn. It was 2:00 in the morning, after all. She walked to the glass structure, carefully turning the lock on it. "InuYasha, what are you doing here?" she asked as she slid open her window.

He said nothing, pushing her aside, and closing the casement behind him.

"InuYasha!" Kagome hissed. "Are you even listening? I-"

InuYasha's voice was a menacing, harsh whisper as he cut her off. "Damn it, Kagome! Shut-up!" He reached out his hands, grasping her arms, pulling her close to him. "I didn't come here to fight," he murmured.

The way he said those words sent shivers up Kagome's spine. Subconsciously, she pressed herself against him, realizing exactly what he _had _come for. "Are you sure?" she asked quietly as she felt his fingertips gently massage her lower back.

InuYasha hesitated for a moment. Was he? Before he had gotten to her era, he had been completely confident. Standing with her now, he wasn't so sure. His mind fought bravely against the strong need for escape. 'I can't let myself back down now! I _have _to do this!' He leaned closer to her, his heart painfully pounding against his chest. Stopping just short of her lips, he let out a soft gasp.

Kagome trembled. The feeling of InuYasha's hot breath against her lips beckoned her with its alluring touch. Without a second thought, she closed the remaining distance between them, bringing him into a searing kiss.

InuYasha slowly responded, his lips eagerly moving against hers. He buried his hands in her hair, beginning to need more. The taste of her sweet mouth was addictive, enticing. Cautiously, he nipped at her bottom lip; it was a gesture of pleading for more of her.

She reluctantly parted her lips, letting his tongue claim her mouth. Though she wanted this, and was the one who was so persistent about it, her heart kept telling her that this was wrong. It seemed to be muttering constant warnings in her ear, as if trying to infuse her with inevitable doubt.

_He doesn't love you_

Kagome pushed the voice away, pressing her tongue against InuYasha's, adding depth and pressure to the kiss. She moved her hands to slip them underneath the folds of his haori, attempting to move the cloth aside as InuYasha continued his assail on her lips. Managing to pull off both layers of his kimono, she tossed them carelessly on the floor, her hands moving to explore his exposed chest.

InuYasha tore away from Kagome's lips, moaning at her touch. Her hands were soft and gentle, yet each time she touched him it felt as if small embers were being ignited on his skin. His breathing became staggered as she began to kiss her way down his neck. Every lucid thought he might have had began to dissipate with every tender caress she gave. As Kagome moved her attention to his chin, he caught her in another sweltering kiss.

Kagome gasped, immediately pulling him closer. It was amazing, his touch. InuYasha was normally so rough and demanding in everything he did. Why was it that his actions were so different now? His touches were almost introverted. "InuYasha," she whispered breathlessly as he broke the kiss to nibble her earlobe.

He grunted in response, turning his ministrations to the nape of her neck. He could feel the growing inferno in his groin as he reached under her shirt, finally touching bare skin. InuYasha mumbled her name against her neck, pulling the shirt leisurely over her head, tossing it onto the floor next to his haori. He blushed slightly, not failing to notice that she wasn't wearing the "restriction" that she usually did. Timidly, he moved his hands to touch her bare shoulders; her skin was so smooth. He slowly began to lower his hands, glancing down at her questioningly as he did so.

"It's ok," she whimpered frantically.

InuYasha nodded, bringing a hand over her right breast, silently thanking the dark room for hiding his red face. He shyly grasped it, caressing it with his fingertips.

Kagome moaned at the contact, his touch inviting a luscious heat between her legs.

InuYasha grew bolder with each sound that emanated from Kagome's mouth. He clasped her nipple between his fingers, pinching and twisting it almost curiously so. He groaned as heard Kagome breath out his name. He hadn't known something so simple could cause such affinity; it was almost beguiling. Her scent summoning him forward, he closed his mouth around her collarbone, leaning down to trail kisses across her chest.

Kagome cried out as she felt his mouth closing in on her breasts. She unintentionally arched her back into his touch, trying to fulfill the yearning to feel his body completely against hers. Her breathing, once slow and steady, became strained as InuYasha playfully licked the area around one of her nipples. Her hands moved towards the sash of his hakama; she seized it, fingering the knot it had been tied in.

"Kagome," InuYasha called, pulling his head away from her chest. His breath hitched in his throat as she came dangerously close to his engorged manhood.

She made quick work of the sash, as if she would lose her nerve if she didn't do it then. Kagome gazed up at InuYasha, holding his pants in place as she did so. She stared for a while, admiring his ardent expression. She never realized how truly beautiful he was. Shaking the thought away, she grasped his chin, slowly kissing his swollen lips.

InuYasha reacted quickly; wasting no time, he delved his tongue into her mouth, pushing her towards her bed.

(A/N: Ok, we all know where this is going. I'm not sure about the lemon policy here, so better safe than sorry. The link to the lemon is on my profile if you wish to read it. Now, on with the story.)

(0000000000000000000000000)

InuYasha nearly collapsed on top of her, panting loudly. He kissed her quickly, gradually easing out of her, and rolling to the other side of the bed.

Kagome eyed him carefully, her mind praying to see a peaceful expression on his face. Was he glad or did he think it was a mistake? She smiled as she saw him soundly sleeping. He really was beautiful, with the moonlight caressing his skin with its glistening light. It made her feel guilty. 'I should have told him,' she thought. 'Instead, I just let him…' She couldn't stand it. How could she have done something so horrible? Giving his face a soft stroke, she let herself close her eyes. 'I'll have to tell him that it's not him that can't…it's me.'

A/N: Dundundun! There's a nice cliffhanger for you! This should be an interesting plot twist, I can tell you that much. Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. For those of you that read it, it was my first lemon ever. I'm only fifteen, and, sadly, I haven't even had my first kiss yet. As you can imagine, that made this chapter difficult for me to write, but I hope you found it to your liking. I wanted to make it very… Well, I didn't want them to be all over each other because I don't think they would be. Anyway, please **REVIEW! I'm shooting for 25 this time. However, I just want at least a few from everyone at Media Miner. Please! I never get reviews from you guys! **


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well, that took long enough. I am very sorry everyone. I didn't know it would take this long.

To Caitriona695: Yeah, it is rather unfair of Sango, isn't it? Though she may be human, what half-demon is she supposed to have a child with? Certainly not InuYasha! First of all, that would hurt Kagome. Second, InuYasha would NEVER agree. Third, I despise all alternate pairings. I don't care if it's Sesshoumaru and Kagome, InuYasha and Sango, Miroku and Kagome…I hate them all, and would never read, much less write one of them. I suppose she could have a child with another hanyou, but InuYasha's the only one she knows, and I'm thinking that you don't stumble across them everyday. Plus, I really wanted to make this an InuYasha and Kagome story, and that seemed like the perfect way.

To living ember: I may write one with Miroku, yes. I'm not exactly sure at this point. I'm still debating it because this is an InuYasha and Kagome centric fanfiction, and I want it to be focused around them for the most part.

To Inuki-chan9: Thank you! I tried my best, I really did. I'm glad you liked it.

To gentle whispers: Yes, I actually did think about making Kagome older. And, no, I'm not offended. I knew when I started this that someone was going to say something about that. However, I'm happy with my decision, and I'm going to use the "age factor" later. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you continue to read.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns everything, and I own squat.

Chapter 8: Blue (Part 3)

InuYasha let out a blissful sigh, despite his current state of pure confusion, as the early morning sun rained across his face. Was it right? Should it have happened? He took a lingering glance at the girl beside him, who seemed perfectly at ease, her head resting gently against his chest. A smile played off his lips as he inhaled her sweet scent. Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed waking up like this. Then again, him waking up wasn't the problem; it was Kagome. What would he say to her? More to the point, what would she say to him? Would she be happy? Would she regret it? He shook his head. It was too early for such pressing questions.

His eyes drifted shut as he was swept over with the idyllic memories of the night before. Physically, it was amazing; every touch and sensation moved him in a way he couldn't describe. It was unfathomable, the way her body reacted to his. So why was it that he didn't think he could bring himself that close to her again? He shifted uncomfortably at the thought. He was restless, and wanted nothing more than for everything to be the same again. He wanted to go back to slaying demons, to searching for jewel shards, to hunting down Naraku. He didn't need a relationship to get in the way of all of that, much less a baby.

'No, I made my decision,' his mind pried insistently. 'I'm not gonna change it again.' He felt his body give a slight lurch as Kagome stirred. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he found himself praying that she wouldn't wake up. He wasn't ready to face her, not yet. A breath of relief escaped him as she rolled off of him, curling further into the warmth of the bed. InuYasha sat up slowly, taking one last look at Kagome before moving to the end of the bed and stepping off of it. "Where are my clothes?" he mused aloud, yawning.

"They're right in front of you."

InuYasha immediately felt a blush spread across his face as he turned, locking gazes with Kagome. "You're awake," he stated bluntly, quickly retrieving his clothes.

Kagome sat up, being sure to keep her comforter securely wrapped around her torso. She watched in amusement as InuYasha practically threw on his hakama. "So," she began.

InuYasha glared. "So what?" His words were unusually harsh and raw this morning. He pulled on the layers of his haori, straightening them quickly, and began moving towards her window.

"InuYasha, wait! I need to talk to you!" Kagome cried out in desperation. She fixed her eyes on his face, pulling the sheets even tighter around her body. "It's really important. It's about last night." Her gaze lowered as InuYasha strode closer to her.

"Was there something wrong?" he asked, contempt seeping from his voice.

"No, it's nothing like that," Kagome said hastily. "There's just something you should know. It's me…I…" Her voice hitched in her throat. "I can't."

InuYasha raised an eyebrow. "What are you talkin' about?" He crossed his arms, lightly drumming his claws across his elbow. A growl rolled off his lips when she didn't respond. "Feh! I'm leavin' if you're not gonna say anything!" He pivoted in the direction of her window.

"I listened to you when you were having a problem!" she protested. "Why can't you do the same for me?"

"There's a difference between listening and forcing someone to talk to you, Kagome! You're making it seem like something it's not! I didn't _want _to talk to you about it!"

"Well, it helped, didn't it?" Kagome's hands clenched further around her covers. She suddenly felt a strange sensation, like her heart was slowly melting, creating a searing pain that was irreversible. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

InuYasha snorted. "What the hell are you apologizin' for?" He took a step toward her, fighting the desire to hold her and the urge to run away. His inner turmoil was at its peak, its relentless edge. He forced himself not to think of it. "You should get dressed," he suggested quickly.

"Bu-" Kagome bit her lip. She definitely was not ready to tell him now. 'He needs to know,' her mind insisted. 'You can't just push the problem aside. He doesn't deserve that.' She sighed. Yes, he was worthy of much better, especially after everything she had done to him. Still, none of it compared to the stupid decision she'd made last night.

(0000000000000000000)

In one word, breakfast was awkward. Kagome could feel her insides squirming as she timidly glanced at her mother. She couldn't help but wonder if her mother somehow knew about what had happened the night before. She shuddered at the thought, provoking the already inflated uneasiness at the table. InuYasha, however, did not seem to be effected at all as he sat there, eating his omelet quite contently.

Mrs. Higurashi spoke suddenly. "Kagome, have you talked to him yet?" she asked, nodding at InuYasha.

Kagome took a quick glance at him, almost feeling guilty about his confused expression. "I will."

InuYasha stopped eating, turning to completely face Kagome, his eyes narrowing. There was no doubt in his mind that she had not been planning to reveal any of this to him anytime soon. "Tell me about what?"

"We'll talk about it later," Kagome replied coolly, standing up to leave.

He grabbed her arm, and pulled her backwards. "No, we'll talk about it now!" He caught her in a callous glare, as if he were trying to pry her mind open.

"Both of you sit down," Mrs. Higurashi said calmly, folding her hands and placing them on the table. "We'll discuss this together."

Kagome cringed at the word. 'Together? As in, she's going to _be here _when I tell InuYasha? No…' She laughed nervously, sheltering her red face behind her hands. 'InuYasha will be sure to mention the fact that I slept with him, even though I knew about the problem. I can't let him say that in front of my mom.' She peeked in between her fingers, watching her mother give InuYasha a stern look.

"InuYasha, there's something you should know about Kagome," she said. Her face softened as she continued to stare at him. "I know you two have already come to your decision, but after all that's happened…I don't think…" She cleared her throat, biting her lip to regain composure. "I don't think it would be possible."

InuYasha squinted his eyes and crinkled his brows, as if the intensity of his expression would somehow alleviate his perplexity. His mouth went dry, his confusion overtaking him. "What?" he asked finally.

"When Kagome told me what you had decided, I wanted to see that she was ready," Mrs. Higurashi continued, her tone lowering. "I took her to the fertility clinic." She glanced at her daughter knowingly. "She can't."

InuYasha shook his head incredulously. "You mean she can't have children?" He couldn't understand it. 'Kagome knew? She knew and she still…'

"I have Endometriosis!" Kagome cried out, her voice engulfed with distress. "It doesn't mean I _can't _have children, it just means that it would be difficult for us to conceive." Her head sunk down in her own shame. Guilt was showering over her like rain often did when it blanketed the earth.

After a long silence, InuYasha turned to her questioningly. "Can it be fixed?"

Kagome nearly grimaced at his tone when he spoke. It was icy, and cut through the air like a knife. Yes, he was angry, though she couldn't exactly blame him. Still, seeing his heated expression struck her in the most unimaginable way.

"It can't, but it can be helped," her mother explained, eyeing the hanyou sympathetically. "Unfortunately, that would take two years of therapy, and that still wouldn't guarantee conception." She tightened her grip around her own hand. "I'm sorry."

InuYasha said nothing. How was he supposed to react to this? He felt a strong dizziness begin to wash over him as his mind grasped the information. His body began shuddering with anger and betrayal. He hadn't wanted to change his relationship with Kagome in the first place, but forced himself into such distinct pleasures because of Miroku. But for what? Nothing. The word rang over and over in his head like a chiming bell. "Kagome, I need to talk to you," he struggled out. He stood up, clasping his hand around hers, leading her up to her room.

Kagome looked at her mother pleadingly as she was forced out of the kitchen. 'At least he's going to yell at me while we're alone,' she thought thankfully, though she was intimidated by the very idea. Still, it was better this way. She gasped as she was suddenly pushed violently into her room. Her eyes narrowed at InuYasha in a harsh glare. "Hey!"

He slammed her door shut, and matched her glower with a look that was far more menacing. "So, how long have you known?" he demanded, his voice poisonous and soft. He watched her hang her head, and turn away from him. "Well?"

Kagome couldn't stand it. The sheer sharpness of his tone caused a shivering sensation to coil around her spine. "A few days," she answered as her body began to quiver slightly, trepidation flowing within her veins.

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" He was more insistent this time, his words forcing themselves through his gritted teeth. "You thought it would be ok to just _let _us sleep together when we had no reason to?"

"No!" She felt tears beginning to form, not because he was angry with her, but because she was lying.

InuYasha growled, his frustration about to boil over. "Well, then why the hell did you do it?"

It was then that Kagome stopped listening to him. Everything he said from then on was just a wisp of thin air to her ears. Why had she done it? Was it because of her secret longing to be close to him, her hidden desire for his touch? Did she still believe in the small chance of a baby? Each question surrounded her as the sky did the clouds.

_Why?_

(000000000000000000)

Four weeks—four long hard weeks. They were interminable, and Kagome knew that things wouldn't get better. InuYasha had barely spoken to her since that fateful morning when their relationship had taken a turn for the worse. They had finally gone back to searching for jewel shards, but they had had no luck in recovering any. There was a strange indolence among them, unceasing in its addictive nothingness. The distance she and InuYasha had put between each other was a fair contributor to this feeling. Sango had tried to keep everyone motivated, and had tried to induce some kind of relief to the awkwardness of it all, but had no success.

Kagome sighed softly as she stared around the aisles of the grocery store. She'd finally decided to escape from the unwelcoming presence of the feudal era for a few days with little hassle on InuYasha's part. He didn't really seem to care what she did anymore. 'I had that one coming,' she thought sadly. Her eyes dropped to the tiled flooring as she continued to walk through the supermarket. 'Let's see, Mom said she needed more shampoo.' She stalked languidly to the hygiene section of the store, pausing as she passed by the pregnancy tests.

There was something crying out to her, relentlessly beckoning her toward them. 'There's no point,' she reminded herself. 'There's no way I'm pregnant. Besides, I haven't even been showing any symptoms.' Against her better judgment, she grabbed one quickly and tossed it into her cart. 'I guess it can't hurt to check.'

(0000000000000000000)

Getting back from the store, Kagome felt her stomach churning. Nervousness was slowly overtaking her, causing her hands to shake as she put away the groceries. She glanced down at her hand, watching her fingers curl around the pregnancy test. Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at it. Every part of her wanted to take it now, hoping for some kind of miracle, something amazing. Still, her mind pried that there was no such thing. In any case, her legs prodded on, leading her to the bathroom.

"Ok, breathe," she whispered to herself as she paced the length of the bathroom, trying to somehow calm her wild anxiety. She took a glimpse at the ticking clock on the sink counter; time was meandering by. The minutes seemed to be passing tediously by as they did when a child was waiting for the school bell to ring. Kagome looked at the back of the box the test came in. 'Blue is positive and pink is negative.' Her thoughts were abruptly cut off as a surly knock rattled against the door.

"Kagome?"

She gasped. That was InuYasha's voice. Did he actually come to get her, even after he had been so content with her departure? To her own astonishment, she turned the lock on the door, and opened it. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, smiling weakly at him.

"I…" InuYasha trailed off. He couldn't admit that he had a veiled yearning to see her, to gaze upon her face. He shook his head. "What are you doing in here anyway?"

She hesitated for a moment. "I'm just…taking a pregnancy test." She bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.

It was one simple word. "Why?"

"I don't know," Kagome admitted solemnly. "It's stupid, isn't it? There's no chance of me being pregnant, so I don't know why I bother! I guess just part of me wants…blue." She massaged her temples, trying to relieve her increasing distress.

InuYasha quirked his eyebrow at her, an almost amused expression set on his face. "Blue?"

She pointed to the test. "If that end of it turns blue, then it means I'm pregnant," she explained. "But we both know it's impossible."

InuYasha listened to her carry on in an almost drone-like state. He sighed, glancing at the test on the counter. "Kagome…"

"I can't even help Miroku! Sango must hate me now!" she continued, tears now streaming down her face, staining her cheeks. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it, though!"

"Kagome!"

She threw her hands up in exasperation, nearly collapsing under her trembling legs. "What?"

"It's blue."

A/N: All right, that's it for that chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it, even though it took so long. You see, I'm working on another fanfic called "Addiction". It's very…unique. I think you'll like it, so give it a read sometime. Anyway, please **REVIEW! I'm going to shoot for thirty this time, since I got way over my goal on the last chapter. **


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm sorry that this chapter took so long! There were a few false judgments passed at me, so I had to take care of them. Now that that drama is over, I've gotten around to update. I was also writing another story called "Addiction". You might want to give that a read. Anyway, I would like to thank everyone who has read the story. You're great! Now, I'm going to give you fair warning that there are a lot of scene changes in this chapter. I think every scene is important, but I couldn't just drag them on forever. Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer: -huggles plushie- This is the closest I can ever get to owning InuYasha.

Chapter 9: When he says goodbye

Nothing. After two weeks there was still nothing. Kagome glanced down at her stomach curiously, tilting her head. Even after testing positive, she still had yet to have any symptoms. That knowledge sent fear coursing through her spine. What if the test was wrong? What if she really wasn't pregnant? She frowned at the words. The never ceasing question of "what if" seemed to be a constant in all of life's aspects, drowning out hope. Perhaps it was this doubt and questioning that had kept her from telling Sango about the pregnancy.

'I don't want to give her false hope,' Kagome thought sullenly. 'That wouldn't be fair.' Her attention turned to her stomach again. There had to be something wrong. She sighed softly. This continuing clenching feeling in her heart was almost to the point of throbbing. She needed to talk to someone, to relieve the stress that prodded at her very soul. Still, the one person she needed the most wouldn't even look at her anymore.

"InuYasha," she said breathlessly, taking in her surroundings. The sunlight of the feudal era was draped along her body as she sat in a small clearing lined with trees. Even with that scenery, she couldn't help but feel as if she were trapped in a dark room with every shadow looming over her, how she always felt without… She shook her head. InuYasha seemed to be ignoring her a lot lately. In fact, he had started this habit the first day they had learned of the prophecy. Ever since then it was an on and off sort of thing. He was certainly a mystery. But it wasn't his continuing evasion that bothered her, though; it was his reasoning behind it. Was it something she did? Was he feeling regret?

Though he claimed to be satisfied with his decision, she'd always had this strange feeling that he was lying to her. In the rare moments that they exchanged glances, his eyes seemed to be infused with a certain reluctance. She had tried to understand it, but InuYasha was so unreachable now. Kagome knew that he might just be afraid, not knowing what would happen to them now that she was pregnant. Maybe because he was so uncertain, he ignored her to avoid that very fact, to keep from facing his own confusion. She shook the thought away, stretching her arms out to the side, relieving the tension that had built up during her thought process.

'I'll go back now,' she decided, tossing her hair as she took a lingering glance in the direction of the cave that had changed her life.

(0000000000000000000000)

Kagome sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office, anxiety swarming over her. She had been there for almost an hour, silently waiting for her name to be called. After coming back to her time a few days ago, she had made a secret call to the gynecologist, still fearing what her mother's reaction would be. She twiddled her thumbs nervously, watching them as they moved in circles around each other. Never before had she felt so uneasy, even with all of the events that had been going on in the last few months.

'I have to know for sure, though,' her mind insisted. 'I can't just keep myself in the dark about it.' She took a quick glimpse at the registration desk, watching the woman inside fumble with some papers. She was rather stout and wore a white medical uniform, her black hair pulled back in a loose bun. Kagome envied her slightly, wishing that someone else besides herself could deal with the amount of stress that she was enduring.

"Kagome Higurashi."

Her stomach churned at the sound of her name. If possible, her heart began to pound even faster than it already was. She could feel it beating quickly against her chest, causing her fear to rise. Standing up, she swallowed the increasing amount of air that had built up in her throat. She followed the nurse, who was standing at the entrance to a long hallway with patient's rooms on both sides of it, down the carpeted floor, her heart now beating in perfect sync with her fast moving feet. Kagome began counting each door she passed, as if to preoccupy herself, to wash away her spinning thoughts. '…Seven, eight, nine, ten…' She stopped abruptly as the nurse led her into a room on the left.

"You just relax here, Kagome," the nurse said, smiling as she motioned at a reclined chair in the middle of the room. "The doctor will be with you in just a moment." The nurse handed her a lightweight, almost paper-like gown. "This is for you to change into."

Kagome nodded, taking the gown.

(0000000000000000000000)

InuYasha twitched slightly as he passed a longing gaze at the depths of the well that had brought Kagome to this world. He sighed softly. Guilt; it was a maddening emotion, one that latched itself onto you with its grimy hands, refusing to let go until you made amends with your problem. Yes, he felt bad about what he was doing to Kagome; but that wasn't enough to keep him from doing it. It wasn't as if he wanted to stay away from her. In all honesty, he himself didn't understand what his drive was. He couldn't even get a grasp on what was happening. Kagome was pregnant with his child. He was going to be a father.

_Interesting _

He often found himself wondering how different things would really be. With that thought, he didn't know whether he should be angry or glad. 'I don't know what to do with myself anymore,' he thought gravely. 'Now that we've stopped our search for the jewel shards, it seems like there's nothing left for me to do.' He shook his head. 'No, I've still got to defeat Naraku, but…' He paused for a moment. Was that even an option anymore? Would he ever get the chance to accomplish his revenge? It didn't seem like it at the time. If he and Kagome were having this baby, then where _would_ there be time?

'Damn it, I don't want that!' InuYasha cried in his mind. He turned his body, leaning further over the well. It didn't matter anymore, what he wanted. He couldn't change the past, no matter how much he wished he could.

(000000000000000000000)

"So I am pregnant, then?" Kagome asked, staring at the doctor as she grinned, unable to hide her happiness. The woman in front of her was tall with dark hair cut above her shoulders, and had an appropriate motherly appearance.

"That's right." The doctor gave her a gentle smile, looking towards the screen of the ultrasound. "Make sure you schedule another appointment," she said, her tone almost dark as she spoke.

Kagome looked at her curiously. "Is there something wrong?"

The woman said nothing at first, as if contemplating an appropriate answer. "You have nothing to worry about," she told her finally, picking up her clipboard, and walking out of the room.

Kagome nodded, still feeling nervous about the way the doctor had spoken. She felt like there was something she should know, something about her baby. "InuYasha, I wish you were here with me," she whispered softly.

"Kagome."

She jerked her head up, looking at the entrance to the room in shock. "Mom, what are you doing here?" she questioned, moving to get out of the chair.

"I could ask you the same thing," her mother said sternly. Her expression softened. "I heard you when you made the appointment a few days ago. I wanted to know what it was about. Kagome, why didn't you just ask me to make the appointment for you? You know I would've helped you. You shouldn't have to face this disease by yourself."

"It's not about that!" Kagome cried out suddenly, her eyes averting to the tiled floor. "It's just that I'm…" How could she tell her? She and her mother had discussed and decided that because of the Endometriosis, she and InuYasha had no reason to attempt to conceive. If Kagome told her mother about the pregnancy, she would surely be disappointed. She took a deep breath. "I'm…I'm…"

Mrs. Higurashi narrowed her eyes curiously. "You're what?"

"I'm pregnant."

Her mother said nothing; not then, and not again.

(00000000000000000000000)

"You are? Really?" Sango was staring wide-eyed at Kagome, her hands covering her mouth, and tears brimming her eyes. "This is so great!" She threw her arms around her friend, choking out a few sobs. 'Miroku,' she thought. 'You'll be all right now. I'll get to see you again.'

Kagome let out a feeble laugh as Sango continued her rants of excitement. As she sat in the cave, her gaze wavered toward the stone and then InuYasha. He was sitting next to it, an unreadable expression on his face, as usual. She pulled away from Sango, who simply sat there smiling, and moved over to his side. "Hey," she said, sitting next to him on his left.

InuYasha remained silent, turning his face away from her.

"Honestly, what did I do to you to make you ignore me?" she asked, letting out a groan of aggravation. "What ever it is, I'm sorry for it." She leaned forward, trying to get a better look at his face. "If we're going to do this, you can't just avoid me forever."

His eyes met hers. "I know."

There was something in his voice that made Kagome shudder. It almost sounded like he was angry that he couldn't evade her. Was that all she was now, just some pesky little fly that was constantly buzzing around him? That was a question she didn't want to know the answer to.

(000000000000000000000000)

InuYasha leaned against the trunk of a tree as he sat on its branch, letting his body bathe in the shade that it offered. His lips curled into a frown. He had to come all the way out here just to get one minute of peace. For the past few weeks, Kagome had been "baby crazy", as Sango put it. He shook his head. 'More like obsessive,' he thought brazenly. She was barely pregnant and already it was _InuYasha, we have to get ready for the baby_, or _InuYasha, think about the baby_. What ever happened to _InuYasha, I'll leave you alone now? _

She refused to look for jewel shards and wouldn't let him have a moment without her all because of _that baby_. And she had to nerve to get mad when he ran off. He suddenly had a strong yearning to change his decision, to go back in time and fix everything. Yes, it was selfish, but at this point that was the least of his worries. He just wanted to rid himself of the restlessness that had been settling itself throughout his entire body ever since Miroku had been captured. This never ceasing lull in their journey was agonizing, and causing his patience to quickly slip from his grasp.

"InuYasha!"

He grimaced at the sound of his name, sighing heavily. It was hopeless; he was never going to have time to himself. "What, Kagome?" he asked halfheartedly, leaping down from the tree.

She smiled brightly at him and grabbed his hand. "Come on. It's time to go."

"Go where?"

"We're going back to my time," she said, tugging him forward slightly. "We have to get some things for the baby."

There it was again, that word. InuYasha was sure he couldn't even count how many times he'd heard it. The baby, everything was always about the baby. He shook the thought away, turning his eyes toward Kagome. "I thought we already did that this week."

She continued her steps forward, pulling him with her. "I know that," she pressed. "But there are still things left to get." She glanced back at him, feeling his resistance to her movements. "What's wrong?"

"Why don't you just go by yourself?" he suggested, his tone almost hypnotic. He let air filter through his half open lips as his eyes averted to the ground.

"It's your baby, too. I want you to get to be there for everything." Kagome released her grip on his hand and turned her body toward him.

InuYasha fought to maintain his composure, speaking softly. "_I _don't want to, Kagome." His voice quivered as the words left his mouth.

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean that I don't want to be there for every little thing!" he snapped in frustration, taking a few steps back. "All I ever hear about is the baby, and I only get to do things that have to do with the baby! Did you ever consider that maybe I don't want to spend all my time gettin' ready for this?" He inhaled deeply, his fists clenched at his sides, and his glare focused on the girl in front of him. "Damn it, Kagome, you're smothering me! I'm tired of it! I want everything to be normal again, but it never will be because of that damn baby!"

Kagome stared at him, shaking her head in disbelief. She didn't speak for a long time, as if at a loss for words. "InuYasha," she said finally. "Listen to me. I know that I can't change your feelings about our situation." She took a brief pause before continuing. "Look, you can be mad it you want to. You can blame yourself, or you can blame me; but _I am not _going to let you blame this baby! That's not fair, InuYasha! This is something you and I decided to do! It has nothing to do with our baby! Now you can accept that, or you can leave! What do you want to do?"

He caught her in one of the most serious gazes she had ever seen. "I want out."

A/N: There! I finally got it done! Once again, I apologize for taking so long! Well, I'm going to China for twelve days tomorrow, so I won't be able to access a computer. However, I am taking paper and a pen with me, so I can still write. It's a twenty-hour flight. I'll have plenty of time. Please **REVIEW! **Thanks.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hey everyone! Well, I wrote most of this chapter on a bus, a plane, and in an airport. I meant to write the next chapter for my other story, but I was inspired to write this one. Oh well. This one's more popular. Anyway, I got back yesterday after traveling for about twenty-six hours. We did get to stop in Tokyo, though. I was so sad! It was that very day that the chapter 459 of InuYasha came out in Japan, and my mom wouldn't let me get a copy of it. Ahem. Yeah, I'll let you get on with the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. –cackles evilly- But I will! You wait and see! –sighs- Oh, forget it!

Chapter 10: Guilt

Kagome's mind seemed to be in an endless scramble. Out? He wanted out? No, that couldn't be right. Though he had a number of bad qualities, InuYasha was still a good person, one who generally owned up to his own actions. Surely he would never dismiss a huge responsibility because of something so minor. Or was it minor? As she thought about it, Kagome realized that InuYasha was definitely not the type who wanted so much attention, or who liked to fuss over something he didn't want.

'Of course,' she thought. 'He _doesn't _want this. He doesn't want obligation or commitment. But…if he wasn't looking for that, then why did he agree in the first place? He could have just as easily said no.' She turned to meet his gaze, her brows furrowed, accenting her sullen expression as she fought to keep tears from falling.

"So…you're saying you want to leave?" she asked softly, still keeping her eyes on his face.

InuYasha said nothing at first, as if searching for the right words. He observed her carefully before finally answering. "Yes."

Kagome shook her head in disbelief, her body slightly trembling. "Even after you agreed to do this? Even though _you _were the one who said that we-"

"Damn it, Kagome, shut-up! I didn't know what I was really agreeing to! I didn't know that _you _would be so damn hard to deal with!" He took a deep breath, his glower intensifying as he began to step away from her.

"So, it's not that you don't want this baby…"

"Stop saying that word," he hissed sharply, his voice so soft that she suspected he hadn't meant to be heard. Still, every syllable he uttered seemed to pierce through her like some jagged dagger.

Kagome crouched down onto the ground, finally giving in to tears as her fingers began grinding across the grass. "I'm the problem, then?" she cried. "You're just sick of me?"

InuYasha averted his eyes away from her.

She nodded, knowing that action all too well. Each time he did it, it was always because he didn't want her to know something. Whether it was about Kikyo or his answer to a question, it was always the same. She let a strained breath slowly leave her lips. "I guess…our baby doesn't mean enough for you to stay?"

There was no answer. He just left.

(00000000000000000)

Why did everything seem so dark? Though it wasn't physically, in Kagome's mind the word had gone black. As she took languid steps forward, she couldn't help but feel as if she wasn't moving anywhere. Inuyasha was gone. That was the only thought running through her mind. He wasn't coming back—she would never see him again.

'Alone,' she thought with a feeble laugh, trying miserably to hide her fear. 'I'm alone now.' She took a quick glance down at her stomach. 'No, we're alone.' That's when it hit her. Her child would have no father figure to look up to, not without InuYasha. That wasn't right—it wasn't fair. Not only had she lost someone, but her child had lost someone as well.

"I can't do this," she whispered to herself as the heat of tears began to swallow her enflamed face. Still, she didn't care. She wanted to cry—to scream. She just needed to let everything go. "InuYasha, you jerk, I cant do this by myself! I can't… I need you here! I'm sorry, all right? Whatever I did to you, I'm sorry for it! I just…" She choked on her words as her voice grew quieter. "Please come back…I need you." Kagome sank onto her knees, covering her face with her hands, her cries almost silent.

"Kagome, what's wrong?"

She let her hands fall to the ground as her eyes met Shippo's. "I'm fine," she said hoarsely, hopelessly trying to stop her cascading tears. "You don't have to worry."

The kitsune tilted his head curiously. "But-"

"Shippo, go back to the cave with Kirara."

He looked toward Sango as she brushed past the forest trees, the demon cat following closely behind her. She stood there, her face turning concerned as she glanced at Kagome; her eyes were infused with sorrowful sympathy.

"Kagome's sad!" Shippo complained, his tone emitting its usual whine. "I want to stay here with her."

Sango knelt down next to him, nodding understandingly. "I know," she said. "But I think it's best that I talk to her, okay? Go on with Kirara. We'll meet up with you later."

He pouted for a moment, but gave in to Sango's stern expression and turned to follow Kirara.

Sango watched as Kirara flew off with Shippo perched on her back. She turned her attention back to her sobbing friend. "Kagome, what did he say to you?" she asked, disquiet seeping from her every word.

Kagome shook her head, her breathing becoming harsh and labored as she continued crying.

"I know he must have said something stupid, especially with the way he's been acting around you recently." Sango lowered her gaze. "I figured you two would have a big fight soon, I mean…" She quirked an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"It wasn't something he said," Kagome told her, reaching up to tuck a raven lock behind her ear. She clenched her eyes shut, continuing to shake her head, not wanting to believe what she was about to say. "He left. He just didn't want to stay anymore," she rushed out. "He doesn't want me…he doesn't want this. And now my baby's not going to have a father, and I don't know what to do!"

Sango stood there, unsure of what to say. She couldn't even believe what she was hearing. She knew InuYasha was having problems with the situation, but she would have never thought that he would actually leave. "Kagome," she began, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder. "You don't have to worry. I'll be here for you—you know that. And I'm sure that when Miroku is freed, he'll be happy to help, too." She pulled Kagome gently towards her. "Just know that you're not alone in this."

Kagome nodded weakly, brushing away a stray tear. "I do. It's just…" Her gaze wandered to a blade of grass, watching it dance with the wind, so carefree. If only life could be like that, a steady two-step in the soft breeze. She pushed the thought away, glancing back at Sango. "I feel so lost," she admitted. "I just thought that once I was pregnant, all of the problems InuYasha and I were having would work themselves out. I didn't think that it would cause more problems." She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "It's not like he was having 'prefatherhood' trouble, either. He just… It was me that he didn't want to stick around for."

Sango bit her lip. 'That's right,' she thought. 'It was exactly three days ago that he said…' Though she didn't want to think about it, it was becoming entirely obvious that InuYasha had been planning to leave Kagome all along.

_Flashback _

Sango wiped away the beads of sweat that were running like waterfalls down her face. For nearly five hours, she had been training with her Hiraikotsu, tossing it, twirling it, and watching as it sawed through trees and returned safely into her hands. There weren't many demons to practice on around there, though she found that rather peculiar. After all, it was a demon that had brought Miroku into darkness. But that was the only demon she had ever seen, or sensed for that matter. With this knowledge, she was sure that she and Miroku had been caught in some vile conspiracy.

"I'd better get back," she said to herself, lifting the boomerang over her shoulder. The sweet aroma of the afternoon engulfed her as she sauntered toward the cave. It was a blissful day, really, with the sun peering over the fluffy clouds, the trees rustling in the breeze, and the birds chirping overhead. "Miroku, only eight more months," she whispered into the day's abyss. Even though Kagome was only a month along, Sango still found herself counting down until the day when Miroku would finally be set free.

She pushed past a tree branch, its bark rough against her skin, landing her in the clearing that surrounded the cave. Looking at it, it was almost impossible to believe that something so devastating could've taken place there. The grass was a bright emerald green, and there was an array of flowers dispersed around the meadow. The place in its entirety radiated a peaceful sense. She continued to walk, taking in her surroundings with a blissful sigh. For once, she was nearly content with her life. The only thing missing was…Miroku.

"InuYasha, is there something wrong?" Sango asked as she stepped into the cave, not failing to notice the fuming hanyou, who was stepping aimlessly around the stone ground, muttering something to himself.

"Feh! No!" he said disdainfully, his glare cutting through the air.

Sango narrowed her eyes suspiciously, and then shook her head. "All right, if you're sure." She turned away from him, placing her Hiraikotsu against the cave wall.

"So it's normal for a woman to be completely and utterly obsessive about her child when she's pregnant?" InuYasha asked suddenly, folding his arms. "Because I'm tired of-"

"We already went through this, InuYasha," Sango told him firmly as she brushed off her shoulders. "It's just a phase, and it'll pass. You're just going to have to stick it out for a while."

Though they were soft, his next words struck her ear quickly and harshly. "Well, at least I only have to deal with it for three more days."

_End flashback _

'I just assumed that he meant Kagome was going home for a little while,' Sango thought. 'I didn't know he would actually leave her.' She glanced Kagome. In order to save her friend's already torn heart, Sango didn't say a word. She just pulled her closer.

(00000000000000000)

InuYasha shifted uncomfortably in the sunlight that filtered through the forest as he sat, leaning against a tree trunk. Who knew freedom could feel so empty? He sighed heavily. No, he wasn't unhappy with his decision, but there was still something tugging at his heartstrings. Just the thought of Kagome alone… He stopped himself, not wanting to think about her. Instead, he tried to remember the hell she had made his life. It didn't work.

"Damn it," he mumbled in annoyance. This whole thing was making his stomach churn. Guilt—of course. That was an emotion that had never ceased to be present ever since Miroku's capture, and was now at its peak. "But I can't go back now," he told himself. "And I don't want to…I…" He groaned. No matter how much he tried to deny it, the fact was that he still ached for Kagome.

"InuYasha…"

He looked up in astonishment, his infuriation abruptly uplifting. "Kikyo…you're here…" He stared at her; she was beautiful, with her pale skin glowing softly in dim light. Just seeing her almost made him forget everything.

"Your eyes seem wearier than before," she said, her words gliding lusciously off her lips as she approached him. "Tell me, is it because of Naraku?"

InuYasha felt his heart lurch. "What about Naraku?" he demanded.

"I came across him recently—his demonic aura has increased dramatically. He told me that he had you and Kagome ensnared in some plot of his. He said that it would cause him to continue to grow stronger, while you focused your attention elsewhere." Her eyes met his. "I'm glad to see that you're all right."

He nodded, watching her meander past him, with her soul stealers following closely behind. He wanted to call out to her, to run after her, but one thing kept him from doing so. "Guilt," he muttered.

(000000000000000000)

InuYasha watched the clouds as they drifted across the morning sky. For two months he had been searching for Naraku, wanting nothing more than to make him pay for everything he had caused. He was the one who had sent that demon after Miroku, the one who cast the spell on the stone. He deserved nothing but Hell. Still, InuYasha had been unable to find him or sense him.

"Kagome," he whispered breathlessly. With no luck in his search, she was all he had to think about. Was she safe? Did she hate him? And even though he still felt slightly bitter towards her, he found himself yearning to see her, or to at least be near her. 'Maybe if I just passed by the cave…' his mind suggested as it had many times before. But now that he thought about it, he wasn't that far from that area. Just a look wouldn't hurt, would it? Satisfied with himself, he stood up, heading toward the cave.

(000000000000000000)

He was close—she just knew it. Kagome pressed her hand to her heart, feeling it pound hard against her chest. This happened each time she began severely missing InuYasha, causing herself to create an illusion of his presence. But he was never there. 'The feeling seems so much stronger this time, though,' she thought insistently. She pushed the idea away. Even if he was here, she couldn't bring herself to completely forgive him. 'I can't…unless…he's here because he wants to be here for this baby.'

She paused for a moment, glancing at the stone, sighing. Things should have been simpler. If the prophecy had been different, or if there hadn't even been a prophecy, then perhaps InuYasha would still be there with her. She let his name slip. "InuYasha…"

And there it was, a faint whisper, holding so much passion for such a small word. "Yeah…"

Kagome gazed at the cave's entrance, feeling her eyes go wide as they landed on InuYasha. He was just standing there, his form contrasting with the light outside and the darkness in the cave. Still, she could see his face clearly. It was as smooth as it had always been, but it seemed worn out, as if he had been fighting some internal battle for an eternity. His eyes were the same pools of gold, emanating his emotions as they always did. She bit back an incredulous cry as he moved toward her.

"I had to see you," he admitted quietly, seeing her questioning look. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was exactly the same, unchanged. She didn't even really look pregnant yet.

"I thought you were tired of me," Kagome said, trying her best not to be lured in by his beguiling features. "You said that you didn't…"

"I know I did. I just…I couldn't stand it anymore, Kagome! I didn't want to feel so-"

"Guilty?" Kagome was glaring at him now, her anger suddenly rising. "You want to come back now because you're guilty?"

"I never said anything about staying," he corrected. "I just wanted to make sure that you were still…all right."

"So now that you know I am, are you going to leave again?" She caught him in an intense stare, her eyes pouring into his.

"I don't know."

"Well, if you only want to stay because you're guilty…" She paused for a moment, "…then I can't let you. The last time you made a decision out of guilt, it didn't work out. I can't let you do that again, InuYasha. It's not fair."

He growled in frustration. "Then I don't know what you want me to do! What—staying isn't enough for you?"

"No, it's not!" She inhaled deeply, looking away from him, her voice softening. "Look, this isn't about you wanting to be with me, or us being together again. It's just… I want you to want this baby. You should feel responsible for your child, and _that _should be your reason for staying. It shouldn't be about feeling guilty because you left me. I want you to be here for this baby… But if you don't want that too, then I can't let you stay with me."

He stood there for a moment, watching her shakily. "I don't know what to tell you," he said.

Kagome nodded. "I understand." Holding back her tears, she let out a stifled sob. "I can't promise that our baby will live anyway," she gasped out quickly. "I went back to the doctor, and…"

He shook his head in confusion. Why was she telling him this all of a sudden? "Kagome, wha-"

"InuYasha, there's something wrong…"

A/N: Ha! And I will stop it there! I am very proud of this chapter. It's mainly because it's my longest one so far. However, I also like what's going on between InuYasha and Kagome. It's strange, isn't it? They're my two favorite characters in the series, not to mention my favorite couple, and I love messing up their relationship. Hehe. It's not like I'm not going to fix it, but still… Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. Please **REVIEW! **Thanks.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hey, I'm sorry this took so long. I was having some intense file problems in my computer. Anyway, I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. I liked it, too. Hopefully, you all will find this one just as enjoyable. So let's get on with this chapter! –puts on mood music (The "Kagome to InuYasha" theme)-

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I never will—not now, and not ever.

Chapter 11: Mentioning "I do"

InuYasha stared at Kagome, his eyes shrouded with immense perplexity as he watched her gaze lower. "Kagome, what are you talking about?" he asked, taking a step closer to her, immediately feeling the chilling radiation that the cave emanated, and its cold floor pressing hard against his feet. His face was covered with utter shock and concern as he waited impatiently for Kagome's response. Still, no matter how anxious his exterior appeared, he couldn't help but feel a sense of inner relief of her reluctance. Part of him didn't want to know what was going on—he wanted to somehow keep their situation from becoming even more complicated. His eyes narrowed as he noticed a glare crossing Kagome's features.

"It doesn't matter," she choked out, her voice conspicuously strained from her harsh sobs and small cries. She moved her hands to her sides, balling them into fists as she craned her neck to fix her eyes on the stone ground.

InuYasha glowered at her hard expression. "It does!" He made a quick gesture at her stomach. "If there's something wrong, then-"

Kagome's icy gaze struck him with an intense ferocity; it sliced through the tension that had settled itself between them. "You don't care," she said, her words deathly quiet. She shook her head, as if trying to toss away her own relentless sadness. Her face softened as she looked up, her eyes searching his. "We might lose the baby, InuYasha…"

He glided closer to her, running his fingers softly along the dark cave wall. His face looked frozen, his amber orbs lacking depth, and his lips impossibly straight. "And you're telling me I don't care?" he asked in disbelief, now only inches away from her.

"You don't!" she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest, turning her head to evade his penetrating stare before glancing back at him. "I'm not blind, InuYasha! You don't want this baby! When you told me you were leaving, I asked you if our baby meant enough for you to stay—you left!"

"That doesn't mean-"

"Then what does it mean?" Kagome let out a deep sigh, unfolding her arms as she turned her body toward him. "Look, you may be hard to figure out sometimes, but it's obvious to me that you're not interested in having this baby. You can deny it all you want, but that won't change what you really feel, InuYasha." Her eyes seemed to shake as tears began to border the corners of them. "And if you don't care, then why should I force myself to relive this nightmare? I'm sorry… I just don't think I can tell you." She let her voice fade slowly as she spoke to him, knowing that finally letting the problem leave her lips would only make it more real.

He watched her for a moment at a loss for words. He wanted to say that he _did _care—that she could tell him what the problem was, but he somehow found himself unable. He knew he would feel like he was lying to her, but that was just it—was he lying? At this point, he didn't want to know the answer. He pushed the pressing thought aside, meeting Kagome's gaze, his expression as soft as newly woven silk. "I need to know, Kagome," he said finally, his brows furrowing. "Whether you like it or not, I have that right. It's my child, too."

"Yeah, the child that you don't care about!"

"Damn it, Kagome, stop putting words in my mouth!" He let out a trembling breath, becoming increasingly aware of his heart beating against his chest. Approaching her slowly, he placed his hands on her shoulders, pulling her into the warmth that his body offered. He let his forehead rest against hers for only a fleeting moment before moving it away. "Tell me," he murmured.

She sat there, awestruck by his sudden display of affection. Her mind was whirling around in confusion. If he was so tired of her—so eager to get away from her—then why was he trying to bring her closer? Despite her protesting thoughts, Kagome found her arms creeping their way around his torso, and resting gently on his shoulder blades. She buried her head into his haori, relishing in his comforting touch. She now realized how much she'd missed him during the past two months. The way she held him now—as if she would never let go—was proof of that.

"Kagome," he began as he combed his fingers through her raven locks, softly massaging her scalp as he did.

She nodded, shivering slightly at his alluring touch. "Remember how I told you I had Endometriosis?" she asked, now letting her head lean against his chest. Receiving the affirmative, she took a deep breath, coaxing herself to continue. "Well, it caused something to happen. My uterus—what carries the baby—isn't in the right position anymore." Kagome let a stifled cry escape her as she pressed her head harder against him, determined that it would somehow bring him even closer now that she needed him. "They said that the pregnancy should have caused it to move back by now," she continued, shaking her head, "but it hasn't." Her tear-filled eyes met his as she began to move away from him. "And if it doesn't…then we could lose the baby."

InuYasha said nothing, but gently cupped her cheeks with his worn hands, moving towards her. His lips were merely inches away from hers, sending a delightful heat coursing through him. "I'm staying," he whispered, his tone slow and tender as he spoke.

Kagome shook her head, sobbing softly. "I'm sorry, InuYasha. I can't-"

"I'm staying."

What could she say? All her will power had been vanquished in her first attempt to tell him no. She couldn't deny wanting him to stay, either. Her heart had been trying to do that every second he had been gone, and she was tired of lying to herself. "Okay," she said finally.

(00000000000000000)

"Kagome, can I ask you something?" Sango was staring at her friend, concern pooling from her expression as she lifted her head from the rock it had been propped against. She let her hands glide slowly through the bubbling spring water, letting it induce its comfort. She turned her attention back to the girl in front of her, not failing to notice her distant expression.

Kagome sighed lightly, fully aware of exactly what Sango's question would be. She'd been quite surprised earlier that day, seeing InuYasha back in the picture, after all. Kagome smiled weakly. "Go ahead."

"Why are you letting him stay?"

She'd seen that one coming. Kagome nodded slightly, turning her face away from Sango, focusing her gaze on a patch of wisteria flowers growing in the cracks and crannies between the stones surrounding the hot spring, wishing life could be as beautiful as the colored petals were. "I don't know," she finally stammered, her voice quivering at her own answer. The truth was that she did know why, but she didn't want to face the fact that she had swayed from her initial intentions.

Sango lowered her gaze, her face darkening. "It just doesn't seem right," she said. "He left you when you needed him most, Kagome. You're putting faith in someone that may end up hurting you again." She paused for a moment, looking up at Kagome, seriousness doused across her features. "You've got to realize that you both want two different things. He doesn't want or deserve that baby, not after everything he said. He's probably only offering to stay to wash away his own guilt."

"I know all that!" Kagome brought her hands up to her head, rubbing circles around her temples, trying to relieve her oncoming headache. She wiped away the tears gathering in her eyes before glancing back up at Sango. "I just… I didn't know what else to do. He was telling me what I wanted to hear, and I couldn't say no!"

"Did he say he was staying for the baby?"

"I…" She trailed off, taken aback. He had only said he was staying—he'd never given an actual reason. This thought scared her. If he _had _told her exactly what she wanted, and _hadn't _said it was for their baby, then what did that make her? Was she unconcerned about her child's well being? Did she only want InuYasha to be there because of her own selfish needs? No, that wasn't right. She must've just been caught in the moment—enthralled by his touch.

Sango heard Kagome's silence and shook her head. "He's doing this for himself! Convincing yourself that he's not won't make it any less true! He doesn't care!"

"How can you be so sure?" Kagome let out a long, drawn-out breath before staring at Sango with stone eyes. "He's not devoid of feeling! He's probably just confused—maybe even afraid!"

Sango tossed her head in protest, looking at Kagome incredulously. "You said yourself that he didn't care!"

"Well, I don't know, okay?"

Sango's expression softened as she moved across the water to place a hand on her friend's bare shoulder, brushing away a stray willow branch that was hanging from the tree that grew to the side of the spring. "I don't want to see you get hurt again, Kagome," she said quietly. "I feel like this is all my fault. I was the one who brought this all on you two. I don't want you to hurt because of me."

Kagome sniffled, nodding. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just… How am I supposed to know if he cares about anything? I can't just ask him."

Sango thought for a moment, running her fingers once through her hair. "Well, if he supposedly does care about commitment to you and this child, then just ask for that."

Kagome narrowed her eyes. What was she getting at? The only way he could possibly serve a real commitment would be for him to… She immediately cast the thought aside. "You're not suggesting I ask him to marry me, are you?"

She laughed nervously, blinking a few times. "Why not?"

"He'll leave again!"

"Not if he really cares!" Sango insisted, moving herself back to the other side of the spring. Her suggestion, while well meant, still could cause a reaction that she really didn't want to be close to.

Kagome shook her head and leaned it against the gnarled looking stone behind her. "The whole point is that I don't want to force him into any obligation. I don't want him to feel like he has to do this, or that I'm smothering him. That's what drove him away last time. Besides, suggesting marriage is like suggesting a commitment to me, not the baby. It's not supposed to be about me."

Sango looked at her sympathetically. "I know…" There was a brief pause before she spoke again. "Having a real family is important for the baby, though."

'Right,' Kagome thought, her eyes fluttering shut. '…A real family.'

(000000000000000000000000)

Days had passed, and InuYasha had still barely spoken. Kagome sighed lowly, shuffling her legs in the grass that swayed swiftly with the light breeze. Ever since her conversation with Sango, she had thought of nothing but marriage. She had always dreamed of her wedding day, but now that dream was more like the wind around her—quickly blowing away. If InuYasha wasn't going to marry her, but he was going to stay, then who was she supposed to marry? At the moment, it seemed like there wouldn't be anyone, not if InuYasha wasn't willing.

Still, she couldn't bring herself to ask InuYasha to make that kind of obligation. He was already putting enough effort out just to stay with her. She couldn't just ask him to be her husband. Though she was completely aware of all this, a question was plaguing her mind—what would happen if he said yes? The thought was utterly irrational, but she still found herself wondering about it. They would finally be in the place in a relationship that she had always wished to be in—the place where love was constant. It was a nice idea, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that with InuYasha's way of living and thinking, there was no way he'd be caught dead in a relationship like that.

Kagome brought her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them, and took a glance at her stomach. Yes, she had forgotten that little detail. With a baby on the way, they wouldn't have the time for that kind of life anyway. She smiled meekly. Even still, she felt happy in the knowledge of her child's existence. Though she may not get to experience the love with InuYasha that she so desperately wanted to, she could still experience the strong love she would feel for her child—the joy of being a parent.

"Kagome…"

She snapped away from her thoughts, turning her head to meet with InuYasha's golden irises. Her grin broadened slightly as he settled himself next to her. "I see you're talking to me now," she noted playfully.

"Feh! I never stopped talking to you!"

Typical InuYasha response. She let out a slight giggle as she looked at his faintly irritated face. But just as she began to feel as if everything was normal, her mind was quickly infused with the notions of Sango's suggestion. No, she didn't want to think about that now. She only wanted to enjoy the time she was spending with him, but the idea wouldn't stop prodding at her.

"Jeez. For someone who wants to be talked to, you're sure quiet," InuYasha said mockingly, before adding for good measure, "For once."

She looked at him, her gaze soft, and her eyes filled with what appeared to be regret. "InuYasha," she began, quickly looking away from him, and stretching her legs out as she rose to her feet. "What are we going to do?"

He stared up at her, hindering a soft sigh. He crinkled a brow in confusion, tilting his head. "What are you talkin' about?"

"In the future," she told him, turning her body to face away from his prying eyes, and concentrating her stare on the forest in front of her. "You're staying, but…is that all? What about once the baby's born?" She added the "if" silently to herself before continuing. "Are you going to be a father to him or her? And what about me?" she asked, gesturing at herself.

InuYasha raised an eyebrow. "You?"

She took a deep breath before focusing her eyes back on his perplexed face. "Yes," she said softly. "What are you going to be to me? A boyfriend? A husband? I need to know, InuYasha, because I can't stand the thought of you just being the guy who fathered my child."

He placed his hand on the tree beside him, using it to pull himself to his feet as he turned to glare at her. "Where is all this coming from?" he demanded, his tone sharp and jeering. "You were the one who said that this isn't about us! What happened to that?"

Kagome held back a choked sob, shaking her head. "I'm sorry! I just don't know how I'm supposed to raise a family with someone who's just a friend!"

"This ain't about raising a family, Kagome—it's about saving Miroku! I thought we talked about that a long time ago! When did it change?" He folded his arms, his eyes sharpening to a point where Kagome was sure they could cut through steel.

"I don't know," she said, mentally kicking herself for even bringing up the subject. She knew he'd react this way, so why did she bring herself into this? "Just thinking about the fact that I won't ever…" She stopped herself quickly, knowing that all she was doing was burying herself in a hole she couldn't escape from.

InuYasha groaned in aggravation, lowering himself back to the ground. "This is exactly why I wasn't talking to you," he stated brazenly, avoiding her hurt expression. "You always start a fight by bringing up stupid topics like this."

She listened to his words in shock. Maybe she did bring up certain things, but that didn't mean that she was to blame for the fights they turned into. "How can you say that?" she asked him in disbelief. "Everything is not my fault! Don't you dare try and blame me! You're the one who left and made things so complicated! I wouldn't even be thinking about this if I wasn't so unsure of what you wanted, InuYasha!"

"Yeah, but you're the one who brings up all this! We don't have to talk about _everything_! That's one of the reasons I left!" He growled, frustrated. What did she want him to say—what did she want him to do?

"The only reason I'm bringing it up is because it needs to be talked about," Kagome said meekly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Eventually, I'm going to want to have someone to make a commitment with—to get married, InuYasha. If it's not to you, then…" She inhaled deeply, fearing what she was about to say. "I guess it'll have to be to someone else." How she hated that thought. She didn't want to be with anyone else; she couldn't imagine it. Still, she refused to live the rest of her life as an unmarried woman. "That's why I want to know what you're going to be to me after the baby's born," she continued.

He looked away from her, suddenly feeling a wave of trepidation wash over him. It felt as if every problem he had put aside in his mind was now bombarding him with the most intense force. "Are you saying that you want me to marry you?" he asked finally, silently praying that he wouldn't have to hear the answer.

Kagome stood there for a moment, realizing just how unsure of herself she actually was. Should she risk telling him that that _was_ exactly what she wanted? Was she willing to jeopardize her chances of him staying? Swatting her fears aside, she slowly nodded.

"Fine."

"What?" She looked at him curiously, narrowing her eyes, and wiping her hands across them as she felt the tears that were threatening to fall.

InuYasha caught her in a powerful gaze. "I will."

A/N: Muahaha! Now what will Kagome say to that? And don't forget that their baby is still in danger. Will he or she live? Find out next time… -deep voice from above speaks- On Dragonball Z! –I look up, utterly confused- Uh… Dude, wrong anime! Lol. I seriously used to watch DBZ two years ago. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was even longer than my last one. Now this is my longest chapter. Hehe. Please **review—**they are MUCH appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Okay, you all finally get to find out what Kagome's answer is! Oh, and as far as jealousy—I may or may not do that. It could be in this chapter. Read to find out. Anyway, be sure to check out my new story called "Almost Incest". I think it's pretty interesting.

Important Note: This story as well as my other two are going to be on hiatus for a while. I'm moving this weekend, and I don't know how long it'll be before I get Internet access. Sorry guys. I'll post everything I've written as soon as I get the Internet back.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the story, except for InuYasha and Kagome's baby. Well, I will if and when he or she is born.

Chapter 12: Realizations

Kagome gazed at InuYasha, crossing her arms as she shook her head slowly. Her face was a rosy hue, brightened by her increasing anxiety and frustration. "I can't, InuYasha," she breathed, a stifled sob escaping her as she drew a hand across her face, wiping away the glaze of her tears. "I can't let you say that." Her eyes were pouring sorrowfully into his, a certain uneasiness clouding them that gave her a distant and secluded appearance. Her brows seem to be fettered in their current position—crinkled in hurt and in the knowledge of her betrayal. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely exceeding a whisper. "I can't do this to you anymore. I want you to leave."

A deep growl vibrated in the back of InuYasha's throat as he stepped toward her, his defiant stare slicing its way into her soul. His hands quickly found their way to her shoulders, gripping her tightly as he jerked her forward. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, his words seeming lusciously sinister and deathly soft. "You can't just make me feel like I have to marry you, and then tell me to leave." He pulled away from her, slamming his fist into the gnarled bark of the tree behind her, his claws grinding past the layers of dark wood. "Damn it," he whispered, aiming his stony stare at his quaking hand before timidly averting his eyes back to Kagome; the fear he saw embedded deeply in her features caught him off guard. "What do you want from me?"

Kagome searched his eyes carefully. "I'm doing it again," she said, placing her hands on his chest to push him further away from her. "I'm forcing you into something you don't want." She could feel her heart pounding throughout her entire body, its pulsating delivering a deeper sense of apprehension. With a quick intake of breath, her eyes became serious. "I want you to do what _you _want to do. Don't worry about me, okay?"

InuYasha couldn't speak. He looked away from her, concentrating on the grassy field beneath his bare feet. Yes, a part of him had blamed her for everything that he had been feeling, but that didn't mean she needed to condemn herself for it. His eyes wrapped themselves in a blanket of disquiet as he glanced back up at her. "I…I don't know what I want anymore," he admitted, sounding defeated and broken down, and shaking his head. "But I'm not leaving! You can forget it!"

A chaste smile passed over Kagome's lips. She placed her hands softly on the brims of his shoulders, looking up at him with a gaze infused with unadulterated gratitude. A feeble laugh escaped her. "I guess you're not going to marry me, then?"

He inhaled sharply, turning his head to the side, evading the hope that had immersed itself within her expression. If he were to agree, then that would bind him eternally to Kagome. That thought seemed to somehow induce a sense of fear inside of him that he didn't understand. It wasn't as if he didn't care about her, but... He took a fleeting look back at her timorous expression, knowing exactly what she wanted him to say. He covered her hands with his own, moving them away from him as he turned to face her completely. "I'm not sure," he said finally.

Kagome nodded. "I see." She let her eyes flutter shut, as if somehow trying to cover the rejection they emitted.

"Kagome."

Her eyes shot open as InuYasha's arms found their way around her. She felt his ragged breath swaying rhythmically in her ear, causing a soothing heat to vibrate through her body. How could a simple embrace invoke such a reaction? Her breathing became unsteady, hitched with unuttered passion as she leaned further into his touch.

"Time," he said slowly. "I need time."

And time was what she gave him.

(000000000000000000000)

InuYasha sat with his back against the splintered well, feeling it scrape mercilessly across him as he shifted his weight. Kagome had been gone for four days to do _something_. She hadn't said what or why, but just that there was _something _she needed to take care of. He glowered hopelessly at his calloused feet, as if to somehow blame them for the lingering feeling of discomfort that had been his shadow since Kagome had let herself pass through the boundaries of time. From the day he had returned to her, he'd had this relentless longing for her nearness; it seemed like he couldn't get close enough to her. He let out the heavy sigh he had been prolonging for days. It didn't matter out much he tried to avoid it; the fact remained that he missed her.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself, moving to rest his elbows atop his bent knees. He hated that question. For the longest time, he had been searching aimlessly for an answer to it, but he still managed to retain his state of confusion. The only thing he was sure of was that he was quickly putting an increasing distance between Kagome and himself—something that he held penitence for. It wasn't fair to her, and he knew that; but the changes that had been inflicted on his life had seemed to override that knowledge with the strongest intensity.

He shifted again. Something told him that he was close to a realization—something that he so desperately needed to know. But what? He shook his head vigorously, trying to erase the inexorable curiosity that never seemed to leave his mind. He huffed in annoyance, standing up, and pivoting to face the well. It was calling to him—beckoning him into its inky depths. Kagome was there, beyond the swirling blue hue that would envelop him. Something about that thought drew him in, provoking him to leap toward the bottom of the well.

(000000000000000000000)

InuYasha stared for a moment, his face flushing with embarrassment. What did she want with him? With a clawed hand, he slowly slid the well-house door shut, tilting his head slightly at the gesturing woman ahead of him. She was standing underneath Goshinboku, her form seemingly radiating an immense glow as she ushered him forward. He recognized her brightness immediately—it was the same light that Kagome was slowly developing as her pregnancy continued. He shrugged, figuring it must have been a mother thing. With his hands hidden beneath the red cloth of his sleeves, he trudged forward to meet the peculiarly weakened expression of Kagome's mother.

"It's been a while, InuYasha," she stated bluntly, motioning him to her side.

He nodded, seeming unsure of himself as he moved towards her, fixating his gaze on the tree that stood proudly beside him. Though looming, its presence offered some sense of reassurance that he simply couldn't put into words. He glanced back at Mrs. Higurashi, a slight fear lying in his irises in a firm but gentle repose. "Where's Kagome?" he mumbled quickly, his lips seeming to have trouble functioning as he let his arms fall to his sides.

"She went to the doctor for a check-up." Her eyes darkened slightly. "I'm glad you came. I've been meaning to ask you about a few things."

InuYasha felt a lump build up in his throat as her words began to sink in. He crossed his arms again, finding a comforting sense about having his hands tucked carefully in the sleeves of his haori, as he looked back toward the tree. Swallowing hard, he cleared his throat. "Like what?"

She folded her hands neatly in front of her before turning in his direction. "Like why you left my daughter," she said. "She seems to think that she's been hurting you, and that she did everything wrong, and that you were very unhappy. Is that true?"

"I…" He hesitated for a moment, reminiscing about the day he had chosen to leave her—the he gave in to that prodding voice in the back of his head. He couldn't even remember if he was really that unhappy, or if she had really done anything wrong. His eyes met Mrs. Higurashi's. "I don't know," he admitted sullenly. "Everything was just changing so quickly, and I was expected to do these things that-"

"So you were scared?" She nodded understandingly at his lame expression. Her gaze lowered as she averted it back to Goshinboku, her eyes seeming lost in the patterns indented on its bark. "You have to understand, though—Kagome thinks that she's the problem. She said you told her that."

"I did," he spat out quickly, annoyed to some extent that Kagome had even thought to discuss something like this with her mother as a frown set itself on his face. He groaned in frustration.

Mrs. Higurashi quirked an eyebrow inquiringly. "And do you really believe that?"

"Feh! No!" he remarked, throwing her one of his typical, defiant glares. He turned away quickly, noticing her stern look. His voice became infused with a soft gentleness as he spoke again. "But I wanted to."

She cast him a sympathetic glance, a small smile emerging on her face. "I suppose it's always easier to blame someone else than to blame ourselves, isn't it? I understand that it's hard to deal with a suffering relationship, especially in a situation where things didn't have to change." She leaned forward, turning her body toward him. "But I can't help but wonder why you agreed to something like this, if you were so reluctant to change things between you two."

InuYasha felt his body go rigid at her words. Why _had _he agreed? His grip around his arm tightened as his brows furrowed to match the distressed expression on his face. Regaining his composure, he shook the thought aside. "I just didn't want to listen to Kagome whine about it anymore," he retorted finally. "And if I _had _said no, then everyone would've blamed _me _about Miroku."

"In other words, you felt guilty?" Her face softened. "Guilt can have huge influence on our decisions sometimes…" She trailed off, looking longingly into the thick branches and rustling leaves of Goshinboku. "I'm grateful to you, InuYasha," she said suddenly, her voice slow as her words slid off her lips. "You've kept my daughter safe and protected her. No one had to ask—you just did." She glanced back at him, her eyes filled with something he couldn't quite place. "But you're the one hurting her now. She's not sure if you even care about her, InuYasha. You need to show her that you do."

He remained quiet, keeping his gaze a good distance away from her. His eyes were dancing with the clouds that hung softly in the sky that was darkened by the oncoming dusk. "How?" he asked meekly.

Mrs. Higurashi smiled warmly at him. "That is your decision to make."

(00000000000000000000000)

Kagome stared anxiously at her bedroom door, a hand moving to her stomach, rubbing it softly. She'd already had to undergo enough stress at the doctor's appointment, and as soon as she came home, her mother had to tell her that InuYasha was waiting for her. She'd said that he had something important to say. Kagome turned her body, pressing her back against the wall as she sunk down toward the floor, enveloped in her own sea of apprehension. She knew it was silly to be so uneasy in the knowledge of his presence, but she still found herself soaked in that feeling. InuYasha had been so on and off about the words he used with her that it was impossible to even think that he might finally be telling her something she wanted to hear.

"This is stupid," she whispered to herself as she craned her neck slightly. Sighing, she pulled herself up, giving her stomach another stroke, her eyes spilling out sorrow. "I have to talk to him anyway." She breathed deeply as she moved a hand to lightly caress the lustrous hue of the doorknob. Sheer trepidation began to course its way through her as she turned the knob, opening the door to the very thing she feared. Stepping inside of the room, her lips curled into a weak smile. InuYasha was there, sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back leaning firmly against the side of her bed. A serene expression was set on his face, and his eyes were gently shut as he let out a soft sigh.

"About time," he said tauntingly, letting his eyes slowly drift open to look in her direction. "What took ya so long?"

Kagome narrowed her eyes as she leisurely shut the door. Why did he sound so…normal? His voice was jeering, but had a crisp tenderness that assured her that his words, while harsh, were well meant. That was the way he had spoken to her since she'd met him, and the way she had been silently praying he would since their relationship had taken an abrupt and forced metamorphosis. "The appointment took longer than I thought it would," she told him finally, moving across the room to sit at the edge of her bed. With a small intake of breath, she glanced at him. "Mom said that you had something you wanted to tell me."

He shrugged slightly, ignoring her question. "How did that 'doctor' thing go?"

She hesitated. He needed to know—it was only fair. She shook her head quickly, turning back to him. "It was fine," she lied, her voice implementing defeat. "But-"

"You want to know what I came here to say," he finished for her. His voice lowered as he turned to face her. "There's something I want to ask you."

A/N: Ha! Double cliffhanger! I'm so proud of myself! Now I've left you wondering what he's going to ask, and what happened at the appointment. Anyway, I hope this chapter sort of explained InuYasha's psyche. He's not just a jerk, after all! Anyway, I'm sorry about my updates taking so long. I've got two other stories that I'm concentrating on. But don't worry! I won't forget about this one! Anyway, reviews are absolutely adored, and I love replying to them. You never know. You might end up getting a lovely message from me. Hehe. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Sorry this took so long! You have no idea what drama the past few weeks have been. I've been packing, moving, unpacking, listening to my mother and my ex-stepfather fight about pointless things because of the divorce, and trying to get Internet service. It has been a nightmare! And after all of that, my keyboard stopped working! We had to buy a new one! Go figure. Anyway, I want to thank you all for your support and reviews. I love you guys! Hehe. Now let's see what I have in store for you this time.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns all of these wonderful characters and their relationships that I have so much fun destroying.

Chapter 13: Silent reveries

Kagome watched InuYasha intently, her stormy eyes locked with his deep, amber orbs as she was caught amongst the billowing emotions they held. As he stared at her, his arms folded in their usual position, and his legs crossed, she could feel something radiating off of him. It was a bright glow of the purest sensation of sentiment—one that she had never had the blissfulness of seeing. A low and prolonged sigh fluttered off her lips as her heart lurched with anticipation, her fingers practically penetrating the fabric of the pink comforter on her bed. Why wasn't he saying anything? With a quick intake of breath, she quickly jerked her gaze away from him, feeling the overwhelming sense of his vacillation begin to take hold of her.

"Kagome," he said finally, his voice seeming to adjourn his trepidation as her name slid gingerly off his lips. He let his eyes drift shut for a moment before fixating them on her distant and anxious features. "I have to know," he continued, his teeth now slightly gritted as if he were forcing out each syllable. He dug his claws vigorously into his arms, trying the put an end to their unceasing quivering as his nerves began to take control over his body. He shook his head quickly. "I've been thinkin' a lot about some things, and I just…" He hesitated for moment, breathing deeply as he began to relax his muscles. "Do you really want me to stay with you?"

Kagome turned back toward him, her face slightly flushed and red as she eyed him with her brows furrowed, accenting her confusion. What would make him think otherwise? She pushed the thought aside, scooting herself closer to him, watching in amusement as his dog-ears swiveled mercilessly atop his head. "Of course I do," she told him, her voice coming out in a soft, lulling melody that rung clearly in his head.

"How can you say that?" he asked softly, his tone strangely calm and sincere as he spoke. He lowered his arms, letting them rest on his bent knees as his gaze fell to focus on the floor. "I can't really explain it, but I just don't think you should forgive me." He glanced up at her. "I don't deserve it."

Her lips curled into a small smile as she watched his earnest expression, a sensation of joy bubbling in the pit of her stomach. For the first time in a long time, he was finally letting her listen to his thoughts—letting himself just be honest. She cleared the swelling lump in her throat, her heart pounding softly in her rapture. "You do," she croaked out, her voice hitched with a luscious candor. She shook her head at his objective face, sighing. "You and I have both hurt each other in different ways. We've both been dishonest…" She paused, her mind beginning to cry out her own betrayal. Even now, she was still keeping things from him. She snapped away from her thoughts, throwing a quick glance at InuYasha. "You're not any more guilty than I am."

He narrowed his eyes, shifting uncomfortably. There was a reserved and sheltered look on her face that made his insides squirm with uneasiness. What was she talking about? Surely she didn't think that everything he had done to her had essentially been because of her mistakes. Why couldn't she just stop blaming herself? InuYasha grunted in annoyance, rising slowly to his feet, and turning to stand directly in front of her. He knelt down, grasping her chin, running his thumb softly across the brim of it in soft caresses. "Damn it, woman," he hissed, his voice the lacking the traditional severity it would have normally held. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I…" She trailed off, fixating her gaze on his hand, watching it carefully as it moved to her cheek. She could feel a delicious heat burning in her face, and begin to pool in her stomach as his beguiling lips neared hers. She let out a sharp gasp, feeling his heated breath against her skin. "I keep hiding things from you," she whispered frantically, pulling her head back, ignoring his bewildered expression as she used her hands to move herself further away from his reach. "I still am."

He searched her eyes carefully, shaking his head. She was still lying to him? He stood up, taking a few steps away from her, his face looking to be in an utter daze. "Oh," he said meekly, crossing his arms as he jerked his body in the opposite direction, now feeling her prying eyes on his back. "So what aren't you telling me?"

Kagome shivered. His voice was deep and quiet, but each word sounded strained, and seemed to be seeping out hurt and anger. "It's about the appointment," she breathed, her heart clenching as guilt began to cover her in a thick blanket of the regret that came with it. She swallowed hard. "It wasn't… It didn't go well." Her teeth sank into her lip as she held back a distressed cry. "Our baby…won't make it," she said, her words nearly inaudible as her breathing became ragged and labored. "She won't make it."

In that instant, InuYasha felt something inside of him shatter. His body quaked as his hands fell to his sides, his fists balled tightly. A strange feeling began to overcome him. He wanted her to be lying again—he wanted this entire conversation to be some taunting nightmare. "She?" he asked, craning his neck, casting his eyes downward as he fought to keep his voice steady.

Kagome stared at the back of his head, silently wishing she could see his face—that she could be comforted by those golden irises she often found herself lost in. Standing up, she forced a weak smile as her hand moved to rest on her slightly swollen stomach. "We're supposed to be having a girl," she said, a feeble whimper escaping her. "But the doctor said that we're…we're going to lose her." She cleared her throat, bringing a hand up to stop a falling tear as she choked on a stifled sob. "I have to go back in five days for a final check-up."

InuYasha felt his heart skip a beat as his breathing came to an abrupt halt. A million questions were swimming around in his head, completely trapping his mind. Lose? Final? There had to be some kind of mistake, right? His body still shook, submissive to the grief that had made its home inside of him. This wasn't how he was supposed to feel. Somehow everything he thought had taken an abrupt transformation. It was no longer about losing Miroku's only savior—it was about losing a daughter.

"I'm sorry I lied," Kagome said suddenly, continuing her motions across her stomach. "I guess I just didn't want to think about it anymore. I wanted to…to wake up." She shook her head slowly. "I know it sounds-"

"Stupid?" he finished, still keeping his face out of her vision as he turned slightly toward her. "You may say a lot of stupid things…but that wasn't one of them." With a deep sigh, he moved to completely face her, his eyes locking with hers.

She wanted to say something to him—to let him know exactly how grateful she felt to him, but she couldn't find the words. For right now, him being near her was only thing she needed.

(000000000000000000000)

Five days passed by quickly, and InuYasha had barely spoken at all. Kagome sat in the waiting room, her head resting in her hands, and her elbows propped on her knees. At that moment, she didn't think she could feel any more helpless. Her daughter was suffering and losing life inside of her, and all she could do was sit and wait. She let out a woeful sigh, her heart sinking. She needed so much for InuYasha to be with her right now, but he had quietly opted not to come. Her mother had been insistent on being there, but Kagome found herself wanting to be with no one else but InuYasha for this. With his presence, she could be assured of comfort and relief.

"I can't do this," she whispered to herself in a small cry, gently massaging her temples with the tips of her fingers. "I don't want this to be real." As her heart began to feel heavy and stony, she gave in to the tears she had been waning since she had gotten there.

"Kagome?"

She looked up with her glossy and tearstained face, her vision blurred by the remnants of her crying. A boy was standing in front of her, his silky, brown hair seeming to perfectly frame his face as he looked at her with his concerned expression. "Hojo…" she started, reaching up to wipe off her hazy eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled as he moved to sit down in a seat next to her on her right side. "My aunt is having another baby," he stated simply, his face turning serious. "Are you all right?" He nodded at a stray tear rolling down her cheek. "You're crying."

Kagome stared at him, not knowing what else to do. The only thing her mind was grasping was that he was there—he was there when she need someone to be. She felt the warmth and comfort that she needed radiating off of him, and drawing her in, bringing her closer to him. Her arms snaked their way around his torso as she tried to get closer to his alluring warmth, resting her head gently on his shoulder. She suddenly seemed as though she were in a hypnotic state as she felt him pull her further into the embrace, her eyes fluttering shut. Her head was spinning in an endless tilt-a-whirl, suddenly coming to an abrupt stop as the heat was violently ripped away from her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Hearing the raucous voice above her nearly made Kagome's heart stop. A sudden tingling quickly infused her body as she found her back pressed firmly against her chair. Her eyelids were clenched, and her breathing was harsh and forced. She could feel a hand gripping her shoulder with exceeded force and vigor as it held her body in its position. Slowly, she let her eyes drift open to meet the stony face in front of her. "InuYasha," she murmured, penitence suddenly washing over her. He was watching her with his violet eyes fixedly, his angry expression blanketing the hurt she knew he must have felt. Her gaze wandered to the looming window behind her, the cold darkness of the moonless night swiftly striking her vision. She glanced back at InuYasha, taking in the sight of his ebony locks falling across his glowering features.

"Kagome…" His voice wasn't callous, but soft and quivering, her name sounding almost poisonous as it left his lips.

She shook her head, not wanting to hear the pain emanating from him as he spoke. Observing him carefully, she could see a vague, white figure behind him. She blinked—it was a woman.

"Higurashi!" the woman called.

Kagome sighed at the sound of her name being spoken, relief quickly spreading throughout her body. "I have to go," she said softly, placing her hand over InuYasha's and moving it off her shoulder. She watched him take a few steps away from her as she stood up, staring at him pleadingly. She took a fleeting glance at Hojo as he sat sprawled across the floor, his face emitting utter bafflement. Nodding him a silent goodbye, she ambled toward the waiting nurse.

"I'm coming with you," she heard InuYasha say behind her. His voice spoke words of demand and control—he was going.

(00000000000000000000)

Kagome sat against the reclined, navy chair in the middle of the hospital room, her hands at her sides as she drummed the edge of the seat. All of her anxieties were now at their relentless peak as her impatience began to grow. The doctor had already been in there twice, doing two routine ultrasounds, and was now on her way to grab another doctor to look at the results to confirm her "suspicions". Kagome groaned in agony, leaning back fully against the chair, her gaze aimed at the ceiling as she attempted to calm her rampaging nerves. The feeling of being completely in the dark was maddening, and simply refused to dismiss itself from her heart. Letting another deep breath escape her, she glanced to her right side, watching InuYasha's distant face. He was standing beside her with his arms folded, and his head tilted opposite of her direction. He had been that way throughout the entire appointment, only adding to the already busting tension that had immersed itself within the atmosphere.

She leaned up, getting a better look at his face. "Do you think we can talk about it?" she asked timidly, fighting to keep her words solid. "I know you're mad."

"You were hugging some other guy," he said bluntly, his eyes slowly meeting hers as he turned his body to face her. "Why?" His expression was icy, filling her with a sense of coldness she didn't even think existed.

"I…" Her voice faded for a moment, her gaze lowering as she evaded his prying eyes, her fingers now digging into the smooth material of the seat. "He was there."

InuYasha snorted disdainfully, shaking his head as the ruthless expression on his face began to ascend to new levels. He took a step closer to her with tedious sluggishness, letting his foot linger above the cold, tile floor before placing it down again. "That isn't a damn reason, Kagome," he jeered through gritted teeth. "You had no right to-"

"What?" Kagome was staring directly at him in utter incredulousness. She folded her arms across her lap, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of the paper gown against her skin as she leaned up even further. "I have the _right _to do anything I want," she pressed. "I don't even think we're in a relationship at all, so what I do shouldn't even matter to you!" She shook her head, her voice lowering. "The only reason I hugged him was because I needed someone. When I told my mother I didn't want her to come, I thought I could handle it on my own. I couldn't, InuYasha!" She whimpered slightly, gently moving a hand to rub her stomach lovingly. "After I got here, I realized that I needed you with me."

He turned his head defiantly, his eyes softening faintly. "Feh! I came, didn't I?"

A slight smile emerged on her features as she leaned back against the chair. "Yes, you did." She drew in a small breath, shaking her head. "But you should've been here from the beginning."

"And you _shouldn't _have been hanging all over that guy!" InuYasha retorted, raising his fist slightly as his rage began building at the mere thought of that man's arms around her, and that goofy smile on his face.

Kagome groaned in aggravation, sweeping her hands across her face to brush away a few stray hairs before looking back at him, a glare fixed in her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you, but you can't tell me what I should or shouldn't do! You're the one who didn't want to be involved any more than we already were!"

"Damn it, you should know by now that I don't mean half the shit I say!"

Kagome opened her mouth to speak just as the door to the room flew open, nearly slamming against the thin, white walls. Two women proceeded inside. The first had sleek, black hair cut at her shoulders, and Kagome immediately recognized her as her doctor. Her face was stern, and her lips pursed as she motioned the other woman forward, brushing at her white medical jacket. The other woman looked to be in a daze, her dark hair pulled back and frazzled, and her eyes worn and tired.

"Look at this," her doctor said, pointing at the ultrasound screen that stood in front of Kagome, tracing her finger over part of the distorted shapes. "Doesn't that look like…"

The other woman peered closer, her eyes narrowing as she also moved her hand to lightly brush it across the screen, nodding. "It does."

Her doctor combed her fingers through her hair, turning around to face Kagome, her expression seeming unreadable as she let out a long, drawn-out breath. "Kagome, I have some news for you," she said.

A/N: Hehe. I will stop it here! You gotta love the cliffhangers! Now something else is going on with the baby, and InuYasha suddenly seems like he wants to start an actual relationship! Oh, the drama! I love it! You know, when I was writing that scene that was describing InuYasha's human form, I was fighting the urge to make Kagome bluntly say why he was human. You know how they always do that over and over in the anime. It'll be something like…

Kagome: -thinking- The sun's going down. It'll be the new moon, and InuYasha will lose all his demonic powers and be rendered a mere mortal.

Shippo: Isn't tonight the new moon? That means that InuYasha will lose all his demonic powers and be rendered a mere mortal.

Miroku: That's right. On the night of the new moon InuYasha loses all his demonic powers and is rendered a mere mortal.

-some random enemy attacks that night, and InuYasha recklessly goes after it-

Sango: Wait! It's the night of the new moon, and you have lost all your demonic powers and have been rendered a mere mortal!

Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but still… Anyway, reviews are adored! Don't be shy to leave your comments! Thank you!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Hey everyone! You have no idea how sorry I am for how long this took. I lost inspiration for a little while, and then I decided to write a one shot. Feel free to check that out, if you haven't already. I've also started school again, so I've got that obligation. Not only that, but I've got two other stories that I have to work on. Still, Im very inspired right now, and Im ready to get started on this one, so let's see where it goes.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns all of these wonderful characters. I own the wonderful situations I put them in. And, if I did own the characters, I'm sure they would be throwing tomatoes at me.

Chapter 14: Breaking Down

Kagome felt her breath catch in her throat, stabbing at her with immense severity. Her stormy eyes seemed to shudder as they caught the black screen in their fearful gaze. She bit her lip as a deep and penetrating numbness quickly coursed throughout her body, forcing an icy atmosphere to envelop her as she became uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was only wearing a paper gown. She wanted to scream—to force out her rising frustration that seemed to be dangerously close to its peak. What else could possibly be wrong? She inhaled sharply as she felt something lightly touch her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes trailed to her side, landing on a hand that was slowly caressing her shoulder blade. She gazed upward, staring blankly at InuYasha. His expression was frozen, his eyes distant, and his lips perfectly straight. He wasn't looking at her, but at the screen in front of them, his upper half quaking slightly. Was he afraid?

"Kagome?"

She quickly turned her attention back to the woman in front of her, who was shuffling her hands in the large pockets of her white medical coat. Kagome let her breath filter out slowly as she stared at the doctor, a vacant look set firmly on her face, her mind at a complete loss of thought.

"Try to relax," the doctor said, nodding at Kagome's tensed arms, her lips slightly pursed. "There are a few things you need to know." She stepped to the left side of the screen, gesturing away the nurse beside her with a harsh wave. "Your uterus has finally repositioned itself into its normal state," she continued, her voice sounding unsteady, as if it were preparing for something it was about to utter. The woman took in a long, drawn-out breath before clearing her throat and focusing her attention on Kagome's anxious face. "But...while we were listening to the baby's heartbeat, we heard something..."

At that moment an intense darkness came flooding into Kagome's heart, weighing it down with immense force. Something—the word reverberated around her head, softly whispering itself to her with its haunting voice. She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and nodded slowly. "What's..what's wrong?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"There was a murmur there. Normally, we wouldn't think anything of it because the baby's heart is still developing...but..." Her eyes turned serious and stony as she moved a hand and ran it through the locks of her straight, dark hair. "There seems to be a lot of space between the tissue behind the baby's neck, and your blood tests were fairly abnormal."

Kagome shook her head, her arms at her sides, and her fingers grinding forcefully in the leathery material of her chair, as if to somehow expel her uneasiness through that action. "I don't understand," she said through gritted teeth. "What does all of this mean?"

The woman sighed lowly as her face began to exhibit the slight wrinkles from countless hours at the hospital and the multitude of worry over her patients. "Though it seems so unlikely because of your age..." Her voice faded off, her eyes seeming to be forcing themselves on Kagome's. She stepped forward slowly, keeping her hands deftly hidden within her coat pockets. "We think your baby may have a birth defect called Down syndrome." She nodded at Kagome's perplexed expression, inhaling deeply. "It's a condition in which extra genetic material causes delays in the development of a child. It can affect the baby's physical appearance and abilities, as well as her mental health. It isn't a guarantee that she has it, but we would like to do a procedure to see if our suspicions can be confirmed or not. However, the procedure does carry a very small risk of miscarriage."

Kagome stared, letting her mouth linger open for a moment. Words were floating around in her head, but she couldn't seem to be able to reach out and grasp them. How could this be happening? Had she done something wrong to cause this? Had she not taken care of herself the way she should've been? She jerked herself from her thoughts, her eyes gazing back toward the doctor with a weary look about them. "Do I have to decide now?" she asked slowly and meekly, shifting in her chair, her hands folded tightly in her lap.

The doctor gave her a reassuring smile. "No, but I'll need an answer by next week. The longer you wait, the more dangerous the procedure will become." She moved to the left side of Kagome, reaching toward the white table beside her chair, and grasping a clipboard that rested atop it with a sigh. "I'll give you two a moment," she said, nodding, and moving to the door slowly. She pressed her back up against it, giving them a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."

Kagome watched her leave in silence. She let her breaths come out in soft gasps that stuttered slightly as she watched her thumbs move in circles around one another. Her arms were shaking in time with her beating heart, her eyes wondering to InuYasha. The same expression as before was still plastered on his face—passiveness and a distance that she didn't think she could get to. She reached for him, placing her hand over his with a forced smile. "We can talk when we get back to my house," she told him.

(000000000000000000000)

The walk home had been deathly quiet. Even the sounds of the usual hustle and bustle of the city had been stifled by the indecisiveness that had settled itself comfortably between the two of them. Kagome took a fleeting glance at InuYasha. He was sitting cross-legged on her bed, his arms folded, and his hands sheltered in the sleeves of his haori as he gazed out her bedroom window, his eyes dancing with the stars. She was standing in front of him, her face somewhat bewildered. She couldn't seem to understand his silence and evasion. Did he want her to make this decision by herself? Kagome leaned forward slightly, crossing her arms loosely as she continued to keep him in her weary gaze.

"I don't know what we should do," she murmured quietly, lowering her eyes. She shook her hand, a fearful look overcoming her that was obvious, even through the room's obscurity that mirrored the moonless night. "I can't even begin to think about this. I never thought I'd end up having a child with disabilities, and now..." She turned around, bringing her hands to the sides of her face, letting tears touch the tips of her fingers as she let out a muffled cry.

"Disabilities," InuYasha echoed softly, his voice low and gruff with lassitude. He looked up from his daze, the starlight softly accenting his human form as his eyes met the back of her head, an eerie silence quickly overtaking him. At that moment, everything just seemed wrong. The baby wouldn't move right. She wouldn't look right, and she wouldn't think right. But did that really mean that everything she'd do would be wrong? He moved his arms away from each other, his calloused hands resting gently on the soft surface of the bed. "I don't...think we should," he said finally.

Kagome's eyes widened as she turned to face him, letting her arms fall slowly to her sides. Her brows were furrowed as she lightly shook her head. "You don't think we should go through with the procedure?" Her eyes churned with dubiousness as he nodded. "You want to wait until she's born to know for sure? You want to spend the rest of this time wondering?"

"I don't want to go through with it," InuYasha said a bit more forcefully, rising to his feet.

Thoughts began swimming through Kagome's mind. Though she had been somewhat reluctant herself, the idea of spending numerous days in constant worry and anguish did not sit well with her. She wanted to be prepared for what was going to come, and not have to endure the shock of having everything forced on her at once.

She observed InuYasha carefully, her eyes narrowing slightly. "What's wrong with doing the procedure?" she asked, her voice raw and strained. "It would make it easier for us, if we knew..."

"I don't want to take a chance, Kagome!" His expression was hard, and almost seemed cold combined with the looming darkness that covered with room with its haunting presence. Still, his piercing, violet eyes shone clearly, offering a different emotion—fear.

'The miscarriage,' Kagome realized. 'He doesn't want to risk losing the baby.' She sighed in frustration, her shoulders sinking down as if the weight of her own confusion had just been dropped on them.

"We'll have to wait," InuYasha continued, slightly turning his head to avoid her eyes.

"What?" Kagome stepped closer to him, her face emanating sheer doubt and disbelief. "I don't understand," she said. "When...when did this actually become important to you? I know you're not heartless InuYasha, but I also know that the baby didn't matter that much to you before." Her hands were balled into fists at her sides as she lowered her voice. "Look, the risk is very small. I want to know if the baby has this or not, so I can do something to help. I don't want to be left in the dark!"

InuYasha's gaze turned fierce as she finished, his teeth slightly gritted. "There's still a chance, and I'm not going to ignore that just because you want to know early!" His words were soft, but so crisp and severe like poison. "You just don't care tha-"

"Stop!" Kagome's voice shook, mimicking her shivering body as a brisk breeze blew in from the open window, the pink curtains billowing with it. She took a slow step toward InuYasha, chills crawling further around her body, her expression unreadable. "You cant say that," she told him, each word sounding forced. "You were the one who distanced yourself from me because you were upset about your decision to do this. You were the one who left just because you didn't want to hear about the baby. Don't tell me that I don't care or accuse me of being a bad parent when you're the one who should be hearing that!"

A deep growl vibrated in the back of InuYasha's throat. "Wha-"

"You've been a terrible father this entire time! I know it, Sango knows it, my mother knows it, and even Shippo knows it! And now you're telling me that I don't care when I'm just trying to find this out so I can help our baby!"

InuYasha huffed, throwing his arms out, and clenching his fists, his claws penetrating the flesh of his hands. "The hell you are, Kagome!" he sneered. "You just don't want to have to think about this for the next few months! This has nothing to do with the damn baby, it's just about you!"

"Get out," Kagome said darkly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to look at you right now."

InuYasha could feel his blood beginning to boil, climbing to a point where the heat began to control his movements. His mind was clouded. He couldn't think. "No," he hissed through his teeth, letting the word draw itself out. "I'm not leaving." He moved forward swiftly, his feet pounding against the floor, imitating a beating heart. His hands reached for her shoulders, gripping them tightly as he pulled her face close to his. "I want you to take it back," he said.

Kagome squirmed underneath his hold, shaking her head as tears stained her face, her eyes clenched shut. "Let me go!" she cried fitfully, freely letting sobs emerge from the depths of her throat. "Please…"

"No, damn it! I'm not until you take back what you said!"

Her eyes shot open, red with the strain of tears, her pupils looking dilated and apprehensive. She searched his face for a moment before letting out a small whimper. "I can't," she whispered. "I'm not going to take back what's true. And…I think you needed to hear it, InuYasha."

He said nothing, his lips slightly parted as he watched her, his body quivering in anger. Pushing her away from him, he left.

(0000000000000000000)

InuYasha sat outside Kagome's door, her subdued cries ringing freely in his ears, quickly making their way down to his heart. He cursed at himself in harsh mutters, letting his head fall against the door as guilt began to prod at him with its sharp talons. What the hell was wrong with him? Why had he let himself go on like that? A deep groan filtered through his lips as he drummed his fingers across the light, carpeted floor. He glanced forward, seeing dim rays of sunlight peering into the second-floor windows, and let out a sigh of relief, thankful that the night would soon be over.

He felt so weak, his emotions smothering him in an intense heat that he had come to loathe. Letting his eyes drift shut, he felt something tingle in his ear...silence. A small gasp fell out of his mouth as he leaned forward, listening intently. Had she finally fallen asleep? He sat still for what seemed like ages, internally fighting against his urge to open the door. He took in a sharp breath, leaning closer to the barrier, the sound of heavy breathing tickling his ear. Yes, she had to be sleeping. He cautiously pulled himself to his knees, wiping a hand across his forehead, blinking away the heaviness of sleep that had overtaken his eyes. Standing up, his hand slowly clasped the doorknob, his head quickly infusing with sounds of her protests and her requests for his absence. She didn't want him in there with her, he knew that. Still, his heart beckoned him forward, filling his hand with a restless feeling, causing it to rattle against the cool metal of the doorknob. Against his better judgment, he turned it.

The early morning sun flooded into his eyes as it beamed through the panes of Kagome's window, an array of colors bouncing across the bedroom. InuYasha could feel his body growing stronger with each step he took, the light beating against his face. As he neared Kagome's bed, he felt his heart give a violent lurch. She was laying flat on her back, her head turned on its side, and her arms thrown carelessly above her, resting gently on her pillow. Her raven hair was webbed around her, part of it falling softly on her shoulders. He watched her chest rise and fall, air sifting through her lips raggedly as he lowered himself by her side, folding his arms on the surface of the bed.

In that instant, he couldn't have hated himself more. Her face was still rosy and puffy from her persistent cries and strain. He sighed softly, moving his hand to her cheek, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. Caressing her skin with the tips of his fingers, he let his hand move to her chin, cupping it tenderly. His eyes wandered to her stomach, softening. The difference wasn't big, but it was still there. There was a tiny bulge there that was all too obvious. He felt a small smile curve his lips as he placed his hand on the bump, a surge of pride beginning to course through him.

"Damn human emotions," he muttered, laughing feebly in spite of himself. Slowly, he let his hand glide across her stomach, taking quick glimpses at Kagome to be sure she was still asleep. Keeping his hand against her, he leaned closer. "Your mother wants you to be all right," he said lamely, standing up, and pulling his hand back.

InuYasha let his arms fall to his sides for a moment, a realization pulling him in with its alluring touch. He reached into the folds of his haori, pulling something out, a small object. He stared at it with a blank look his eyes, thumbing it softly. "I guess I need to give this to you now, Kagome," he whispered.

A/N: I'm an evil little witch, aren't I? Hehe. I take so much pride in that knowledge. Again, I apologize for taking so long. You know, I would've had this up yesterday, but my mother had the get the first season of Grey's Anatomy. I love that show, so I had to watch it. Also, my computer BROKE! Anyway, I'm very, very sick right now. I like to think of it as a blessing in disguise, though. If I weren't sick, then I would be at school right now. If I were at school, you wouldn't have this chapter right now. Reviews are adored! Thank you!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry for this update taking so long. I had a lot of things going on that couldn't be helped. I also had to get the update for "Addiction" going and finished. Anyway, it's been hard for me lately, and that's why this update is long overdue. Well, this chapter should be interesting. I must admit that when I ended the last chapter, I had no idea where I was going with it. I've been thinking about it for a while, and now I've finally come up with something. Let's get started with this.

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi, unfortunately, owns everything. If I did own InuYasha, let me assure you that the series would be quite different.

**Important note: **When I say the object is on her right hand, I really do mean her right hand.

Chapter 15: Deceit

A shaky breath filtered between Kagome's slightly parted lips almost hesitantly as she narrowed her gaze at her right hand. The morning rays of sunlight poured through her window in a bright, transparent light, reflecting gently against her softly tanned skin. Her body was coiled within the bindings of her rosy bedspread, her right arm resting by her side, and her left slung next to her streaming, raven hair. From an exterior perspective, peacefulness seemed to hang in the atmosphere, the birds twittering their early melody, and the cool breeze batting against the windowpane; but something emanated a vexing obscurity that made Kagome's insides churn with uneasiness.

"Where did this come from?" she murmured, her voice slightly hoarse as her eyes fixated themselves intensely on the object that was glittering on one of her fingers. Wooden and engraved with ornate designs, the ring was wrapped securely in place, a jade, deep stone set firmly on it, mirroring her anxious face. She had never seen it before. Her heart lurched roughly at the notion as she shook in the anticipation of her wandering thoughts. In her mind she could see the weary expression on InuYasha's face that had been present the night before. It was blurred and distant, but his eyes were infused with nothing but unadulterated clarity. Had it been him? Had he let go of his pride for one, single moment? She let out a low, vibrating sigh that resounded slowly and loudly in her head as she rolled onto her side, her eyelids softly touching one another, and her mind reveling.

What if he had given it to her? What did it mean? It just didn't make any sense. He seemed to be set on pulling away. Why would he make any attempts to bring her closer? She groaned deeply, propping herself forward on the ends of her elbows. The last time they were at the doctor… His face, his words… Was it even fathomable that perhaps he did want to be more than just the father of her child?

"Kagome…"

Her eyes snapped open, darting toward the doorway, her gaze slicing through the air. She could feel her body begin to quiver underneath the anxiety placed on her shoulders as her breath caught in her throat. InuYasha was staring at her, apprehension hitched in his form as he took a slow step back. His expression seemed masked, his lips impossibly straight, and his eyes clouded and distant. Was he trying to hide himself from her?

"Your mother wants to talk to you," he said quickly, folding his arms tightly and almost defiantly as he turned his head, evading her radiating perplexity.

"InuYasha…" Kagome watched him intently, his disquiet seeming shadowed by his radiance. Silver locks that were iridescent against the beating sunlight, and fell across his back like a protective blanket captured his face. His smooth, darkened skin emitted a deep ruggedness that had claimed her heart the second her vision had reached it. She swallowed hard, shaking her head. "The ring," she whispered lowly. "Did you—"

"Just hurry up and come down." He lowered his gaze somewhat, turning on his heel. Taking one last lingering glance her, he slowly pulled the door shut, a soft sigh falling out of his mouth. Ring—as soon as that word left Kagome's delicate lips, he knew he had done himself in. He'd been stupid to force himself into believing that she wouldn't notice the foreign object on her finger. He stepped away from the door slowly, the sound of his feet pressing against the hardwood floor echoing insistently in his head. Evasion—that was all he knew. He could never escape his reckless decisions and impulsions, but he could certainly avoid them. It was pointless and cowardly because at the end of the day, his mistakes would still be nipping at his heels.

"InuYasha, what are you doing?"

He felt his heart skip a beat that the sound of Kagome's meek voice as he turned around. She stood in the doorway to her room, her hands placed against the sides of the doorframe, her body leaning forward slightly. Her stormy eyes were prying into his with lustrous intensity. This wasn't a question of what he was doing now, but one of what he had been doing this entire time. His breathing turned shallow as he fought to regain his waning composure.

"I don't know," he said quietly, his throat burning as if an ember were swelling inside of it. "I just… I don't." He nodded lightly, tossing his head to the side. "You should go," he pressed darkly, taking a hurried glimpse at her serious expression.

"Right," Kagome breathed out, moving toward him in an almost gypsy-like motion. Her hips swayed as if part of a tantalizing dance, her arms swinging about slowly. Letting out a feeble laugh, she paused as she reached his side, her gaze turning poisonous and cold. "So should you." She pushed past him, her shoulder brushing against his as she headed downstairs, biting her bottom lip in disgust. She couldn't believe herself. How could she say something so cruel? Placing her hand on the rail, her steps becoming slower, she shuddered. What bothered her the most was that she didn't feel any bit of remorse. Spite had suddenly crawled into her blood vessels, making her burn with the want of retribution.

"Mom!" she called out, jumping the last step, and eyeing the living room as she continued her pursuit forward.

"I'm in the kitchen!" she heard her mother say, her voice sounding pure and strong much to Kagome's relief. She'd feared the worst out of a morning _talk. _Heading to the kitchen, she put on her best front, her head held high, and her shoulders fully relaxed. She poked her head in the doorway, watching her mother curiously. She was standing in front of the sink, scrubbing dishes incessantly with the dark, green cloth that was clasped firmly in her hand.

Kagome cleared her throat loudly. "InuYasha said that you wanted to talk to me."

"I do." She turned to her daughter, folding the towel neatly in her hands, and placing it on the counter behind her. "The doctor called today. She wants to know if you've make your decision yet."

Kagome hesitated for a moment. It had been discussed and fought over, but she and InuYasha had never come to a full agreement over it. Still, she knew exactly what she wanted to do. A twinge of guilt shattered over her. InuYasha deserved to have some say. She shouldn't just…

Her mother observed her carefully, stepping forward. "Kagome, can I ask what this is all about?" Her foot tapped in impatience as Kagome held herself in silence. She let out a quiet groan, her eyes softening. "Is there something going on that you wanted to talk about?" Watching her daughter's craned neck and low expression, she moved closer. "Is the baby all right?"

Kagome jerked her head up, a new confidence escalating onto her face. "Tell the doctor that I _have _made my decision."

(0000000000000000000)

Sango let the cool isolation of the cave seep into her skin as she leaned back, letting her head touch the stony wall. With her legs tucked underneath her and her hands resting against her lap, she sighed. Miroku's face seemed to shine clearly in the depths of her mind as she let her dark eyes drift shut. It had been so long since she'd heard his voice—since she'd seen him smile. A small grin crept onto her lips at the thought of the gleeful laughter and playful denial he exhibited each time he made a pass at her…or any other woman. She laughed meagerly, unable to believe that she was actually missing his perverted ways.

She missed everything about him. She longed for him to sense a "demonic aura" floating over the finest house in a village—longed for him smirk in pride as he demolished an attacking demon. Was it selfish for her to miss him so—for her to be willing to do anything to get him back? She didn't know at this point. A part of her was still washed over with utter culpability. InuYasha and Kagome's relationship had taken a dramatic turn, and it was all because she had thrown them one option, and one option only; but wouldn't Kagome have done the same if InuYasha were the one trapped? She shook the thought away.

"It won't be too much longer," she whispered, her eyes peeking open as she reached for the stone. She fixed her gaze on the prophecy, a glower crossing her features at the looming reminder. It could've been anything else, but instead it was something that invoked pain and desperation. A gasp abruptly escaped her she read over the words carefully. "Wha…" She jerked herself forward, forcing her body toward the stone, shivering slightly. This wasn't right; it couldn't be. Her breath came out in harsh pants as she traced her fingers over the words, feeling something prod at her back. She turned, seeing Shippo's puzzled, round face.

"What's wrong, Sango?" he asked, his arms folded against his small chest as he inched forward, narrowing his eyes at stone, glancing over the words engraved on it. "Hey…" He stared up at Sango with wide eyes, quickly running a hand through his tethered hair. "That wasn't there before, was it?"

Sango shook her head. "No, it wasn't." She brought her hands to she sides of her face, biting back a soft whimper. "I'm sorry, Miroku," she cried almost inaudibly. "We can't… They can't… I can't…" With a sharp intake of breath, she gave into the waterfalls that had been threatening to pour down her face. "This can't be happening. What am I supposed to tell them?"

(0000000000000000000)

Kagome felt like dirt, and all she wanted was to be buried further in darkness. In just a week, she had fallen to the lowest of lows. A cry emerged from her lips as she leaned against her door, her hand quaking as it clutched the handle. How did everything turn out like this? Tears tickling her skin, she opened the door, her burning eyes widening. InuYasha was standing right there, as if he had been secretly waiting for her step into the room. His face was not frozen, but melted with a deep heat that she couldn't begin to place. Timidly, she moved into his waiting arms, letting her head fall onto his shoulder.

"It was my mother's," he murmured suddenly, his voice seeming to vibrate against her ear as he buried his face in the lavender scent her hair gave off.

"What?" She glanced up at him, her hand snaking behind her back to close the door as she pressed herself closer to him.

"The ring was my mother's," he explained, curling his fingers in her soft, ebony locks. "She gave it to me before she died…as a promise that she would always be there with me." He pulled back, letting his hands rest on her elbows as he gazed down at her, swallowing the growing lump in his throat. "So…I gave it to you to…mean the same thing…from me." As he watched her, her rosy and shaking features beckoned him forward with their beguiling sense. He moved closer, his lips hovering next to hers.

"InuYasha, stop," Kagome whispered frantically, placing her hands on his firm chest, and pushing him back. "I need to tell you something. It's…important." Her eyes met his in an exchange of pleading gazes. "Please?"

"Okay." He laced his fingers with hers coyly as he began to pull her slowly to the bed, his eyes never leaving hers as if afraid that his heart would stop if they did. Their bodies moved in unison, seeming unfazed by the endless tango of emotions pulsating throughout their minds. Both sitting on the bed, InuYasha felt himself pull back, his breathing twice as labored.

"InuYasha…" Kagome let her eyes fall the floor for a moment, feeling her shoulders sink in shame as she glanced back up at him. "Our baby has Down Syndrome," she forced out quickly and airily, gasping at her own words as they finally began to take their stinging effect. It was real—everything about this was real. Now, even after everything that had happened, that fact was just beginning to wreak its bloody havoc.

"We don't know that for…" InuYasha stopped himself as Kagome nodded. "Oh… You got the test?"

"I don't know what came over me," she admitted weakly, her thumbs softly caressing his palms, and her vision becoming blurred by un-fallen tears. "You weren't around—you were avoiding me. They wanted me to make a decision, so… I did." She caught his eyes quickly. "I'm sorry."

InuYasha was held in the bounds of silence. What was he supposed to say to her? Part of him wanted to scream—to force her betrayal at her. Still, he found himself wishing he could hold her, and keep her tears from falling.

"InuYasha?"

"And they're sure about it?" He turned his head away, letting go of her hands sharply. "The test is a definite thing?" He fixated his gaze on the wall ahead of him, locking it intensely as if mesmerized by it. "Kagome?" He glanced at her curiously, her struggled breathing reaching his ears. Her back was craned and her hands were clasped to either side of her head, her elbows propped on her knees. "Hey… What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she gasped out, furrowing her brows and wincing. "I don't feel…right…" Each word came out slowly, softened by a lack of air. "Sorry…"

InuYasha didn't know what to do. Everything began to move in slow motion as he watched Kagome begin to fall in horror, numbness overcoming him rapidly. He reached for her, letting her body find safety in his arms. "Kagome," he started, his heart pounding like an insistent timpani. This couldn't be real. She had to say something to him—to open her eyes and assure him that she would be all right.

Nothing.

A/N: Ahem. Please excuse the short chapter. It's one of those things where you would absolutely love to continue writing, but you know you have to end it where it is. Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed the chapter. I had to redo it a few times before I was somewhat satisfied with it. Well, let me assure you that things are about to get _very _interesting in this story. Of course, I do have two others that I'm going to be writing, so don't kill me if it takes a little while to write some more in this one. I'm also having trouble at home, so… Yeah… Reviews are adored! Thank you!


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Wow! How long has it been since I last updated? Yeah… Don't answer that. I know it's been a while. Anyway… I've had a lot of personal dilemmas going on, and now I've got an even bigger one. Oddly enough, it's actually inspired me to write, so that's why I'm able to give you this chapter now. Well, I'll stop rambling now. I know you're all looking forward to the chapter just as much as I am. Let's see what I come up with!

Disclaimer: I own many things, but I do not own InuYasha. I wish I could just poke him, though.

Recommended listening: How to Save a Life by The Fray.

Chapter 16: How to Save a Life

InuYasha froze. Kagome was just lying limp in the firm hold of his arms, her breathing hollow and struggled. All he could do was stare. In that moment, his mind was taken in the embrace of pure realization. Images of black and white whirled around him in quick tempo, seeming to shadow brilliantly across his blank face. And he saw it. Glancing back at the woman he was holding so tightly, InuYasha suddenly understood something that had been absent from his mind for the past few months—he had made the mistakes. He…hadn't been acting like he should have. And now, in this situation, he couldn't even comprehend what the "should" was. He could only stare at Kagome's whitened, creamy skin with an unknowing look that seemed to create a distance between them that didn't physically exist.

"Kagome?" he questioned frantically, shaking away his vacant expression. He was lost—trapped between knowing and being clueless. Growling deeply at his peaking disability, InuYasha rose quickly to his feet without hesitation, clutching Kagome close to his quaking chest. "Hey!" he called out as his feet brushed against the hardwood floor outside of Kagome's room. He jumped the flight of stairs down to the ground floor.

"InuYasha?" Mrs. Higurashi poked her head through the kitchen doorway, her hand resting solidly against the wall. Her face turned fearful as InuYasha approached her with her daughter's cold body in his hold. "What happened?" she asked, moving toward him, her heart in a race with its own ability.

"I…" InuYasha didn't know what to say. What _had_ happened? He let his fangs break the flesh of his lips, unable to utter a sound or silence his rattling breath.

Mrs. Higurashi took a step back. "You didn't hurt her, did you?"

InuYasha wanted so much to plead his innocence and deny the guilt that shrewdly engulfed him. But all he could do was lower his gaze in a fit of unrelenting shame. He had been hurting Kagome since the day they met. Quite readily, actually, with every chance he got. He inhaled sharply, letting his eyes drift shut for only a moment, as if to shield the crimes that were latent behind the streams of woven amber.

"Kagome needs help," he said finally.

On the way to the hospital, InuYasha felt as if he had left his own body. Sirens roared in the chilling city air, lights flicking around him like shooting stars of fire. But there he was. He could see himself standing in that contraption of metal and speed, watching helplessly as people crowded over Kagome. Their mouths were moving, but he could hear no sound. His own lips remained stiff. He was a corpse among these people, and he knew it was his own fault. He'd been setting himself up for numbness, everyday making it worst with a snide comment or a glower he could throw toward Kagome.

"Sir, we need you to move," a male voice snapped abruptly.

InuYasha's eyes darted up. It was one of the humans who had been hovering around Kagome like a preying vulture. He paused for a moment as he stared at the man in front of him, realizing that the cart thing was no longer moving. InuYasha stood, glancing around for any sign of Kagome. "Where did you take her?" he demanded, his voice forced and slightly strained. He nodded as the man pointed at an open passage at the back of the cart, where Mrs. Higurashi was hurrying alongside a rolling bed that held Kagome in its clutches. Rushing toward it, he lost himself in the shuddering night wind that slapped against his face. There wasn't a part of him that knew what he was feeling. All he knew was that he was running and that he was running to Kagome.

"Can you tell me about it?" Mrs. Higurashi asked him hours later as the two of them sat securely in blue-blacked chairs at Kagome's bedside, their eyes wandering aimlessly around the pale, white walls and ceiling of the hospital room. She leaned toward him, hands folded at her knees as she eyed his lost gaze. "I can't help you if I don't know." She hesitated before continuing. "I know that it's hurting you. As a mother, I can sense these things."

"Do you think she'll be okay?" InuYasha said quickly, ignoring her question, though relieved by her light-hearted tone. He let his head fall back to rest against the wall behind him. "I mean… She's probably more vulnerable now, right?"

Mrs. Higurashi sighed. "We can't know anything until the doctors talk to us," she told him. "But if I know Kagome, she's probably fighting with everything she has. And the baby… The baby has the two most stubborn teenagers I know for parents, so I imagine she's probably fighting with all her might, too."

InuYasha smiled slightly. "You should know," he began, his peaceful look fading, "I've been… I've been causing her so much pain in ways that I still can't believe I have…" His voice threatened to stop as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. "I hit her… Before we ever decided to do this, I actually struck her. And after she was pregnant, I left her. It just doesn't make sense. I wouldn't do anything like that…"

"I know." She forced back her motherly instinct to lash out at him without remorse and nodded kindly. "I also know that she's done her share of damage to you, " she said. "Kagome told me today before she went to talk to you. She told me about the pain you were causing one another and how she couldn't stand the fact that she pushed you into this." She placed her hand over InuYasha's. "I know it's easy to blame yourself for everything, but… You really are both at fault."

InuYasha longed to tell her that she knew nothing of it and that she should mind her own damn business. But for the first time in so long, he was able to let his defensive half wither.

"And I shouldn't have even let you two get into this mess in the first place," Mrs. Higurashi continued suddenly. "So, you see? Everyone has a reason to be guilty."

He huffed, turning his head sharply. "I guess," he muttered. His eyes landed on Kagome's unmoving form. He let them linger, his heart sinking low into his chest. As he scanned her body, he stopped at her face. Her eyes were wide open. "She's awake," he whispered more to himself than anyone else.

Her voice reached his ears in a way that he never though it would—it was stony and lifeless. "Get out," she murmured without feeling, catching his shocked expression in a shattering glare.

"Kagome," her mother said gratefully, moving to clasp one of her daughter's clammy hands, "how are you feeling?"

"I want him out," Kagome pressed unwaveringly, her eyes still on the hanyou in flawless contempt. She sat up abruptly, anger flushing her face with its burnt hue. "Get out now!"

"What the hell?" InuYasha was on his feet, fettered by rage. "What's your problem?" His claws converged with the skin on his palms as he bit back a growl.

"Just go! I hate you! I don't want to see your face again! Go!"

He stepped back as doctors began flying past him toward Kagome's now quivering body. But he wasn't there. He could only watch himself leave.

(00000000000000000)

InuYasha didn't understand it. Stepping languidly through the thick brush of his era, the moon beating lightly against his face, he let out a frustrated groan. What had spurred Kagome on like that? Before she collapsed, she had been at the knees of his forgiveness. What changed? He swept a hanging branch over his head, ducking under it and swearing spitefully to the night air. As his body began to feel heavy in an emotion he couldn't place, he wondered what exactly he'd done to deserve such a predicament. Yes, he'd now hurt Kagome more than he ever intended to… But why did the prophecy have to ask so much from them?

He sighed at the memory of Kagome's empty eyes and shrill, abhorring words. His heart had frayed—threatened to tear—the instant she said she hated him. It made his insides twinge in agony. Oh, she had every right to hold herself against him—that, he was sure of. But he had been kind to her lately, though slightly unsure of himself. And even though she had been the one to betray him this time, he did not hold it against her when he could have.

InuYasha approached the cave in disgruntlement, catching it in a menacing stare. "Sango!" he called out, not knowing what else to say or who else to ask for. He moved swiftly into the structure, bent of stamping his feet as hard as he could against the gravel. Sango was standing in the back of the crevice, her hands folded limply over her torso as she fixated her gaze on the stone that had captured Miroku.

"InuYasha," she said, "there's something else…"

"There's something wrong with Kagome!" InuYasha spouted immediately, balling his hands into fists at each side of his body, his teeth gritted tightly. "One minute she's asking me to forgive her, and then she starts going off on me, saying that she hates me! I didn't do anything this time!" He paced rapidly, grunting.

"InuYasha…" Sango began again.

He ignored her. "She doesn't even want me around her anymore! This all came out of nowhere! She acts like she has a reason for suddenly wanting me away from her!"

"A parasite has entered the flesh of those chosen!" Sango shouted over him, and she waited for his silence. "With their minds tattered, they will not see. They will parish. Let their creation alleviate them with a spoken spell…" She trailed off for a moment. "Or let a poisoned one be a sacrifice. And with his blood, the demon inside of the chosen will decease."

InuYasha shook his head slowly, narrowing his eyes in uncertainty of her words. "What the hell are you going on about?" he insisted.

"This isn't just about you two having a baby anymore," Sango told him. She swatted a hand at the stone callously. "There's something else engraved here—what I just said… I repeated it to myself over and over, and I know what it means…" She nodded. "You're right… There _is_ something wrong with Kagome. It's in both of you. You've got some sort of parasite or virus that disables you from thinking clearly… It will kill you if we can't…do something."

He didn't know what to say at first. He could only try and convince himself that none of this was happening—that it was all a deathly nightmare that he was temporarily trapped in. His mouth hung agape. "What?" he finally asked, stepping forward. "Are you saying that she's acting violent because of this damn stone?"

"It's probably why you've been violent, too," she said softly. "This virus is killing both of you… 'Let their creation alleviate them with a spoken spell'… InuYasha, your child has to be the one to fix this…" She held her eyes shut to fight the tears that were peeking out to taste the earth. "But the this 'spell' needs to be spoken by the child… That won't happen… Not soon enough…" She began to shake, shooting a glimpse at the ceiling of the cave. "Sacrifice," she murmured.

"So… Either Kagome or me has to die for this thing to go away?"

Sango pressed her hands to her face as if to mask her anguish and let them slide slowly to her sides. "I wish it weren't true," she pleaded to herself quietly. "I know what you're thinking... InuYasha, you can't be the one to go! Neither of you can die! We'll just have to find some other way to change this!"

"Damn it, Sango!" InuYasha's face was jeering, as if he were a serpent ready to release its deadly poison. "You don't get to decide what sacrifices I make anymore!" he said hotly. "I'm tired of being expected to make certain choices! I will… I will die if I have to…"

(000000000000000)

InuYasha left for Kagome's time early the next morning without a word to Sango. He'd spent the rest of the night in the shelter of a nearby tree, curled atop its gnarled branches, unable to keep himself from fidgeting in discomfort. He watched people brush past him as he walked through the hospital hallways, his surroundings blurry and stifled in slow motion. He wanted to do it right then—to die. Kagome would live and complete the first part of the prophecy. Miroku would be free. A chilling wind seemed to blow over him, dancing on his spine as that thought came to his mind. He'd be dead.

He stopped to let his vision gape through the window of Kagome's room. It was haunting, lights dim and flickering. He blinked. No, everything was normal. Shaking his head quickly, he let himself take in what was truly before him. Kagome was sitting up, her head turned toward a window that hung on the wall at her side, her arms quaking slightly. He took a deep breath and turned the handle of the door beside him slowly.

"Kagome…" he offered tentatively as moved inside, keeping his footing steady.

She glared. "What do you want?"

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to show her how much he wished he could change everything that had happened—how he longed to go back. InuYasha did nothing. Instead, he simply forced a smile. "I'm not going to stay," he said. "I'm going to leave."

"Then leave!" Kagome was grimacing wildly, kicking her legs impatiently as she glanced back at him. "What are you waiting here for?"

InuYasha swallowed hard and cleared his throat with as much strength as he had in him. He knelt at her bedside, presenting her his hand, sighing in relief when she took it. "When you get out of here," he told her, "I want you to know that nothing will be your fault. This is me—my choice. It has to be done."

"What are you getting at?" Kagome asked with a softness that was unlike that of this new Kagome. Her face was nervous. "InuYasha…"

"I was just coming to say goodbye," he forced hesitantly, almost forgetting to breathe as a tear strode idly down Kagome's left cheek. "I don't want you to cry or to whine like you always do… I know that you don't want me here, so don't go changing your mind now. I… I want you to be okay, all right?"

As she began to pull away in speechlessness, InuYasha brought her closer. His lips drew hers in like the poignant melody of a Siren to a sailor's ears. He let his hands find refuge in her smooth, raven locks, fighting the urge to press her fully against his body. She was like air to him at that moment—an angel that had given him wings. Gradually, he moved back, locking his eyes with hers, resting his hands on her cheeks.

"Stay," Kagome whimpered frantically, moving her palms in circles at his shoulders. "Please?"

InuYasha shook his head. "Goodbye, Kagome."

A/N: Okay then! Well that was more than fun to write! I hope you all liked it! I'm so sorry for the wait. I sure hope it wasn't too taxing for you. Anyway, things are getting interesting now, as they always do at chapter sixteen. That's my lucky number! Again, I'm sorry for the wait. I have so much going on right now. You would not even believe… Anyway, the update should be soon because I have gotten myself very excited about this story. Reviews are adored! Thank you!


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Oh, my gosh! I LIVE! Ha, ha. Okay, I'm pretty sure you all just about hate me right now. I don't blame you a bit. I know it's been a LONG time since I've updated. To be honest, I wasn't planning on it being this long. I had no idea that all of the personal issues I was having were about to get a million times worse. Also, I've had the worst writer's block in the history of ever! Anyway, things are really getting better now, and I finally feel like I'm stable enough to write again. All right now! Let's see what my mind is going to come up with this time!

Disclaimer: My mommy told me she'd get me InuYasha for Christmas! Why is he still not mine? Dx

Chapter 17: Blood-clad Illusion

InuYasha stood in front of the stone, his brows concentrated deeply as he fixated his gaze on the structure. This is where it all began, and this is where it would end. _In blood_, he mentally added with distain, letting his claws tear his fleshy palms. Eyes drifting shut, the dusty air began to overtake him in arms like a knife to the throat. It was painful. He couldn't breathe. His thoughts glanced back on Kagome, the way she'd looked at him. It was as if all the pain he'd caused her had collided in her body, transforming into perfect abhorrence, crisp and irate. That was the last way she'd look at him. He shook his fists, his head lowering; he couldn't let himself think about her.

And the baby.

He lost his breath for a brief lapse as he lurched forward, dropping to his knees. Their daughter was already suffering, even before life. Disease. Death. Pain. Welcome to the world. Lifting his head to the sky, InuYasha placed a hand over his chest, just letting it touch him, his beating heart. He felt himself quake against the hard gravel, and he began to wish. Maybe if he just stayed there—just for a moment—the world would make sense. His heart would never stop.

"Sacrifice," he said in disbelief, shaking his head. Slowly, he gripped the handle of Tetsusaiga, shivering at the sound of the blade scraping its sheath; and he could almost feel it tearing through his body. There would soon be blood smiling on the floor of the cave, singing the glories of death:

_Here's to another life ended! _

InuYasha slammed his knuckles into the stone, honing in on the sinful inscription that had pushed him into this journey—forced him with hands of ice. And now he was cold, withdrawn from the life he knew and the life he'd hoped for. He ached to place blame; Sango had asked.

_No_, he thought, _I said yes. I gave in. Kagome and I . . . We touched. We kissed. I took her. _He could see it all like a figure through a fire's light. Some parts were blurry, morphed together in washed out colors and blackness. And still, it was there. He knew it. He could still feel her heated skin against him, the honey taste of her lips, her wanting voice echoing around him in a blend of moans and cries; and it was real. Leaning forward, his eyes grabbed hold of his sword as his grip tightened around it. _And now it's all over. _

The blade was thrust forward, and letting it add to his form, InuYasha didn't move. He waited. Where was death? His body grew numb, unable to grasp the pain that wriggled in his gut. It was coming, creeping through his veins, each place it caressed turning into a frigid winter, bidding him goodnight. He let his eyes relax, his breath turning wispy, barely there.

Until it was nothing.

_Kill . . . Let them all perish . . . He is mine . . . _

The voice was quiet, seeming to sink into InuYasha as it stroked his skin, reverberating against his ears. His body felt heavy; he couldn't move. Languidly, his eyes began to peek open, taking in the scene around him. Everything was ashen, as if he'd been blinded by light and the pallid color was still lingering in his eyes. His body jerked slightly, his ears catching movement behind him.

"Ah, you're awake, InuYasha."

He recognized the voice immediately. "Miroku," he managed, "what . . ." At a loss for words, he turned his head. The monk was standing above him, his face whiskered and weary. Though his robes covered it, InuYasha could see that Miroku had been beaten by hunger. He sat up slowly, mouth hanging open. He couldn't understand it. Was he dead? Was Miroku? "What's going on?" he finally asked.

"Follow me and I'll explain," Miroku said briskly, offering a quaking hand. InuYasha didn't hesitate, and he let himself be pulled to his feet, but there was no blood. He was sure there would be, and yet it seemed as if the blinding whiteness of the room had absorbed his wounds, filling its appetite to the brim, growing brighter with each taste of pain. As he trudged behind Miroku, InuYasha felt a strange energy begin to massage his body; it squirmed in his throat and his feet, pleading for release.

"What . . ." he began, his voice quivering in two different melodies. The urge to run overtook him, igniting his body softly at first, but the flames quickly surrounded him. He stopped. "Wait."

Miroku didn't wait, pulling InuYasha with him. "You'll get used to it." He glanced at the frantic half-demon behind him. "Just bear with it. It'll be over soon."

But it didn't stop. InuYasha's body felt shrunken, dried up by the electricity jumping through his veins. It seemed like boiling rain was dancing over his skin, but he couldn't break the grip of Miroku's bony fingers. He needed to get away; the white world around him was quickly succumbing to the jaws of blackness. Legs going limp, he knelt before the satanic canvas, and the voice, the soft voice he'd heard before, was singing.

_Dying, they're all dying._

"InuYasha, don't give in!" he heard Miroku scream. But the sound was enthralling. It was quicksand, and he was letting it swallow him whole.

_This illusion is divine . . . Illusion . . . Divine . . ._

"Illusion," InuYasha repeated, and his minded echoed it over and over. _Illusion, illusion, illusion, illusion. _Is that what this all was? Was this a dream built in cruel cobblestones that would finally lead him to his demise? He couldn't pinpoint it, but he knew there was something there. That word, it was oozing with luscious importance. Beautiful. "Illusion," he said again, and his urgency began to wither. It was slow at first. The burning flames on his flesh simply cooled down, morphing into a dull ache, a silver thread weaving through his head, sewing his mind to rest.

"We're here now," Miroku told him with a shaky sigh. When InuYasha opened his eyes, his surroundings were a deep blue and Miroku seemed illuminated. Shadows hung around the monk's shriveled form like separate legs; they were begging to be attached. Miroku's face was pale, but it was glittering somehow. Confusion was eating InuYasha swiftly. Where were they?

"Miroku, what the hell is all this?" he demanded.

"Well . . ." Miroku nodded toward InuYasha's shaking body. "As you've noticed, there is a significant amount of energy here."

"Where—"

"I'll explain." As he spoke softly, Miroku moved closer to InuYasha. "Seven months ago, I was captured by a demon. I was taken here, and it took me a while to figure out what was happening or where I was. But the energy you were feeling and the voices you were hearing . . . I experienced the same things, and that's when I realized what it was."

InuYasha groaned. "Cut the shit already!" he said, his fists clenching into balls. "I'm sick of idiots beating around the bush because they don't want say something! If we're dead, just say it!"

"We're alive. The demon that took me, he's an enemy of Naraku's. He knew that one of the things Naraku has been craving for is your death. By taking me from the group, and using some type of ransom I assume, the demon has weakened us."

"Ransom," InuYasha laughed out, sarcasm dripping from his lips. He shook his head. "You don't have a damn idea about what's happened! Everything is ruined now!" His eyes lowered with his voice. "Everything is ruined . . ."

"And that was the point," Miroku explained. "Not only did the demon want to get to you before Naraku, it also wanted to get to Naraku before you did. The energy you've been feeling . . . InuYasha, this demon possesses over half the Shikon Jewel." He ignored the hanyou's flabbergasted expression and continued, "The power from the jewel is what's kept me alive, but it's been passing by me recently. It's as if I've become immune. And the reason this demon's energy overpowers you so is because we're inside it . . . We're inside its mind, InuYasha."

It took InuYasha a moment to understand it all. It seemed like someone was giving him a speech while pounding a rock against his head. Words. Pain. More words. More pain. With every passing second, Miroku's voice was becoming harder to listen to. All he understood was that this was a game. A baby . . . That wasn't what this demon wanted. It wouldn't just exchange Miroku like that; Miroku would never be free. So every fight with Kagome had been a waste. The tears, the scars, the hate, they were all worth nothing. Fury began to suck at his throat. Nothing. This hell was for nothing.

"Kagome's pregnant," he said so quietly that his voice was barely there. "Having a baby was supposed to get you back . . . We couldn't tell Sango no . . ." He realized it then. They weren't going to get out. He'd never seen Kagome again. He'd never see his child. Glancing back at Miroku, took a deep breath. "How did you figure it all out?"

Miroku met his eyes with concern. "I listened to the voices. I suppose they're the demon's thoughts."

"Illusion," InuYasha whispered suddenly. He straightened himself, questions pouring through his head. "Did you hear a voice say that? Illusion, a divine illusion," he said. Then he grinned. "I think I understand."

(000000000000000000000)

Kagome awoke with a start. Her face was cold, glazed and shuddering. Now back in her room, she felt uneasy. The comfort of the crowded hospital had seemingly fallen out the window, and everything was different now. It was crawling in her skin. In the hospital, nothing was out of place. The walls were plain, easy to comprehend; everything happened by the clock. Tick: in comes a nurse. Tock: there she goes again. But in her bed, there was something missing. It lapped at her fingertips, and she could feel it burning through her body. Trembling, she sat up and gazed at her pregnant belly. Just three more months to go, then . . . She couldn't finish the thought. Yes, she would have a baby girl, but what came next?

"InuYasha," she heard herself murmur. Somehow, he'd been absent from her mind while she was still in the hospital, and it never occurred to her just how much she missed him. It was clear now. _Crystal_, she noted mentally, a small laugh creeping from her lips. What had changed? Why had he—even for a few days—disappeared from her heart? "It wasn't me," she said. "Something happened . . . I know that . . ."

She placed her feet on the carpet, letting it rub across her toes before she stood. The moon was smiling against her window, just waiting to kiss her cheeks. It would be slow, gentle; the way InuYasha had kissed her after he made love to her. Her thoughts began running in circles around that night, and wasn't just about the heat that sent tendrils of ecstasy winding around her. It was everything that came afterward: chaste tenderness and ease. Her eyes fell back on her stomach.

"Wanna go see your daddy?" she asked with a forced laugh. She sighed softly. "I do."

But when Kagome climbed out of the well, she felt herself go hollow. He wasn't there. She could already tell. Her insides became cold, and she needed to run, to weave herself out of this strange entrapment. Moving as quickly as she could, she couldn't keep her eyes off the trees. They were looming over her, swinging gradually closer, and she just watched them encase her. _Capture me_, she thought. _Go ahead. Give me another obstacle. Why not add more to this twisted soap opera? _She avoided a small bush; the trees were coming closer. _No, it just needs to stop! I'm so tired . . . Just stop!_

Kagome slowed herself, her hand jerking toward her abdomen. Stop. She really did need to stop. Glancing at her surroundings, she took a deep breath. The tree was lying in the clearing ahead, waiting for her to get there and wish it a good evening, or maybe just to visit, to lie among its roots for a while. She could let the moon wash her of this mess and enjoy the tree's silent company. Her tree. InuYasha's tree. She pushed past gnarled branches and fluttering leaves, stepping slowly into its realm with every intent to let herself delve into its majesty. But she couldn't.

InuYasha was there, pinned to the tree.

A/N: All right, so what if I'm evil? xD It's a gift. I am very sorry for the long wait. I really have had a lot going on. Anyway, I do hope that this cleared some things up for you all. I wanted to make it longer, but this was the direction I decided to take instead. Ding! I think I hear resolution in the future. You know what that means! This story is going to be ending. It won't be for a little while, but the end is in sight. I'm sorry if anyone's disappointed, but I'm actually relieved. Ahem. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this latest edition. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I've been busy, and I had to go out of the country for a while. I was in Italy. Ha, ha. Choir trip. You know the drill. I did get to go to Venice, though, which was especially inspiring. Anyway, that's all done and over with. Now I'm bringing you this update. I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I'm a strange one. You never know where my imagination is going. Let's see what I've cooked up this time.

Disclaimer: It doesn't matter what country you go to, I've discovered. There's still no way to buy InuYasha.

Chapter 18: In the Water I Remain

_InuYasha's eyes were locked with Kagome's, his body gripping hers soothingly as he leaned closer. Her face was cold, distance engraved in her flesh, and he could tell her tears were held captive. A strong one—she always was. It was hitting him hard; black and blue were quickly becoming his signature colors. He had no alibis, just his lame apologies, which seemed to be just short of enough. As he sighed, he kissed her cheek hesitantly, relaxing into her cushioned bed with a feeling of hatred delving into him. But it was for no one in particular. These days he often found himself angry for no other reason than simply for the purpose of being angry. _

_"I don't know what you want me to tell you, Kagome," he said with shortness. "Maybe I can't be whatever the hell you want me to."_

_"Would you stop?" She rolled away from him. "I don't want you to be anything. I just don't trust you anymore." Thrusting herself upwards, she scanned her room, and she could feel her gaze shaking. "Is that so hard to understand?"_

_"No." He clawed at his silver locks, groaning with quiet remorse. _

_"You know I love you," she said. "It's just that I can't—"_

_He stopped her. "I know. And I can't either." Pulling her down next to him, he let his hands linger over her cheeks, his fingers tickling her skin. "I can't tell you what you want to hear," he whispered. _

Kagome let her tears go as she stared at InuYasha's limp body. How had it come back to this? Like the arrow embedded in his chest, she couldn't move. Her thoughts centered on the last moments with him that she could remember. She could still feel the poisonous sting of his words. _I can't either._ But how did she end up in the hospital? After that moment, opaque shards of glass clouded her memory. The only thing she could see was herself. Alone. InuYasha didn't love her, and now he was just as lost as she was.

"You can't be real," she stuttered with her eyes averted from his hanging form. "You can't!" She looked right into his face; he was unsettlingly peaceful. Slowly, she ambled toward him, hands outstretched and waiting. Her body began to grow warm as she got closer, and her skin tingled. "InuYasha?" she pleaded. "Please…" As she reached him, she found her arms around his waist.

"Kagome… You're here…"

She turned her head sharply at the sound of Sango's voice, and her hands scraped the tree. InuYasha was gone.

"I think you should go back home for a while," Sango forced. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she quaked, fists clenched at her sides.

"Where is he? He was just here!" Kagome found herself spinning in circles—frantically spinning. She had felt him beneath her, sleeping in her hold. Clear as a clean river, she had seen him. "Where is InuYasha?" she demanded. "Didn't you see him here?"

"No, Kagome…" Sango pressed herself forward, taking her friend's hands gently, her thumbs running over them. "You need to listen to me… InuYasha wanted to keep you safe, so… You need to go back to your time. There's nothing for you here anymore."

"What are you saying?" She shook her head. "Just tell me. I'm tired of all the shadows. Don't keep me in the dark. Please! Sango, this is insane! What are we doing here? Why is this all happening? You owe me the truth! You know that!"

"InuYasha's dead." As she spoke, Sango's words slipped out quietly, one wispy syllable after another. But she was collected—her body had stilled. "He's dead," she echoed. "You were sick, he was sick. It said he needed to die…so that you would live…" She glanced at Kagome's enlarged stomach. "So that the baby would live."

Kagome was struck with silence at first. It couldn't be true. Lies had to be the answer, just like they had been for everything else over the last five months. She couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. It was like she was engulfed by water, lights shining brightly in her eyes; shapes were moving and glistening, but they weren't clear. Words were spoken, but they were muffled and covered in wet uncertainty.

"I tried to stop him," Sango said finally. "He loved you. He wanted to protect you. I couldn't fight that."

"No! He didn't! He didn't feel that way!" She jerked away from Sango fiercely, turning around. "This isn't happening," she murmured. "This isn't happening…" Hesitating, she gritted her teeth. "Take me to him."

(0000000000000000000)

InuYasha's feet thudded against the white nothingness as he pushed through the blank pages with Miroku following closely behind him. He felt himself beginning to lose it, like he was nothing but a paper napkin, so fragile, easily torn to shreds.

"Where are we going?" Miroku asked, his breath sputtering from his lips in hard gasps.

"I don't know." InuYasha slowed his pace, and he inhaled deeply. "This is all an illusion. This place, it doesn't exist." He stopped, glancing back at the monk. "We've got to break the barrier of this mirage. That's what it's all been about. This demon wants us to believe we're trapped here. Eventually, we'll run out of energy to sustain us. Well, I'm not waitin' for that!"

Miroku nodded. "So then… We must find a connection to the real world. How?" His face darkened, lines seeming to weave themselves into his features, weariness setting in. "If this is an illusion…" He paused. "Then where are we really?"

"I think…we're inside the cave…behind the stone."

"InuYasha," Miroku began, "perhaps the stone itself is also a hallucination. And the demon is here with us, just watching us squirm."

"I don't know what to do." InuYasha fell to his knees. "Kagome… Please hear me…"

(0000000000000000000)

As they neared the cave, Kagome's heart stopped for an instant; her chest felt as if it were filling up. _I'm drowning_, she thought. _Someone save me. _Her steps grew languid and hard. Her world began turning in slow motion. What if he was dead? What would she do? _InuYasha, I can't lose you again. Not again. And this… This will be forever. _She quivered, her mouth turning tense. Melodies chimed in her head, but they all sang the same thing. He was gone.

"Are you sure you want to see this?" Sango faced her weakly, afraid to let her eyes drift beyond the obscurity of the cave. "I had to send Kirara off with Shippou… It's not easy…to see." She slowly stepped inside when Kagome pushed past her. There it was, InuYasha's bloody corpse. Tetsusaiga had severed his middle, sticking out his back. His expression was blank, lifeless, just like him. "I'm so sorry," Sango said.

"Where is he?" Kagome asked frantically. "I can't see him." Sango watched her step right over his body and gasped, shaking her head.

"What?"

"You said he was here! He isn't!" Kagome pivoted, looking around the empty cave, unable to swallow the lump in her throat. "InuYasha!" she called out.

"He's right there!" Sango pointed at him, and she grimaced, her eyes taking in nothing but scarlet. "Look…"

Kagome saw nothing.

_" Please hear me…" _

His echoing voice caressed her body like velvet, smooth; it made her feel like she was gliding. She stared, still unable to see his tanned face, those amber eyes that made her melt. Where had that come from?

"I hear you!" she said. "InuYasha…"

Sango fought back tears. It was painful to watch. Kagome couldn't accept what was there, but forcing her to… She couldn't stand the thought of it. Even she knew that sometimes living a lie was much easier than accepting fate for what it was. Painful.

_"Kagome, are you all right?" _InuYasha cooed.

"InuYasha, where are you? Please… I'm scared…" She turned to the stone, letting her palms rest over it, her eyes drifting shut. "Don't leave me."

_"I won't. Pretend it's just the two of us. No one else is there. There's no stone. There's no prophecy." _

She could see it. He was there in front of her, a cool wind entwining with his hair, blowing towards the sky. He was gazing at her warmly, like he did when there was nothing else to say. His smile beckoned her forward, his arms extending to touch hers. She took a step closer; her body felt weightless. Gradually, her hands touched his.

"I can feel you here, InuYasha," she whispered breathily.

"Because we're touching."

Her eyes shot open. He was pressed against the stone, his fingers laced with hers, a sigh fluttering from his lips. She couldn't believe it at first, blinking and pulling back. But he didn't disappear. He was right there with her. His arms snaked around her as he buried his face in her neck.

"I was going to die for you," he said in a low tone, pulling her closer.

"I know." Tears cascaded down her face onto his haori. "I know… I know…"

Sango backed away, unable to make sense of it all. She couldn't avert her stare from InuYasha's body, his dead body. Kagome was losing it. InuYasha wasn't there. And what was she supposed to do? She couldn't just grab her and force her to smell the scent of blood. But she couldn't keep herself from crying as she watched her friend hold on to the stone like a lost lover.

"I feel so washed out," Kagome said to InuYasha, breathing in his woody aroma with a soft grin. It slowly faded. "The last thing I remember is… You… You couldn't say it… But I wanted you to. I don't know how we got here, but I want to go back… I want you to say it, InuYasha. I can't lose you like this, knowing that what I feel…is more than anything you've ever felt… I just can't do it." She kissed his chin lightly. "Please… Just say it, even if you don't mean it. I just need to hear it."

"Kagome…" He felt himself hesitating. "You know I do."

"So tell me," she fought, and she gripped his shoulders furiously. "Please."

"I…" He watched her for a moment, senseless yearning beginning to overtake him as he felt her heart pound in unison with his against his chest. "I can't. You gotta know I want to." Placing a hand on her pregnant stomach, he waited for her eyes to touch his. "I was going to die for you."

She nodded. "I'll miss you while you're gone." Her stomach was in knots—her insides felt like they were rotting. _Just a ghost, _she reminded herself. _I need to see that. I know I do. _

"Kagome, he isn't going anywhere."

"Miroku?" His voice hit her square in the back. She swung her head backwards, incredulity encasing her.

A/N: Now, I know that was a disgustingly short, and probably confusing, chapter; however, I really feel like another update is oozing out of me. This one just had to be cut off here. It may not make sense at this point, but I promise that it will, come next chapter. ANYWAY… I really hope that you enjoyed this latest addition. I love you guys. For serious. XD Though I may be evil, I still have a heart. Ahem. Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks in advance.


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